spotlight >> mentsh of the month Easing The Pain Joe Winter maintains Beth El cemetery with compassion in every season. Stacy Gittleman Special to the Jewish News W inter, especially the record- breaking one Detroit just endured, can be isolating and depressing. It is harder still for those observ- ing an anniversary of a loved one's death to visit their grave in a snow-covered cemetery. Fittingly so, a man named Joe Winter, caretaker at Beth El Memorial Park in Livonia, eases the sorrow of the mourner by making sure that certain graves and the paths lead- ing to them are cleared of snow. For almost three decades, Winter, 56, has cared for the cemetery and lived in a house just outside the grounds Joe Winter where he and his wife, Claudia, raised their four children. Trained as a horticulturist, Winter always enjoyed working outside and saw his occu- pation caring for cemetery grounds "just as interesting as any other landscaping posi- tion:' He started his cemetery work as a groundskeeper at Gethsemane Cemetery in Detroit and then became superintendent of the Beth El Memorial Park in 1985. Growing up, his children never thought the location of their house was odd. "They always just considered it as one quiet backyard. I'd let them ride their bikes on the paths after the gates had closed for the day," he said. As superintendent of the cemetery, Winter's responsibilities include keeping in daily contact with local rabbis and funeral directors to schedule burials. He also is the cemetery's main record keeper. The cemetery is open every day from morning until 5 p.m., except Saturday. If a mourner needs to linger a bit after 5 p.m., he says he does not mind keeping the cemetery gates open a bit longer. As the weather warms, Winter and his staff keep the lawns mowed and the bushes trimmed. He provides a supply of American flags come Memorial Day weekend and Joe Winter makes sure Ryan Unati's headstone is clear each Valentine's Day. makes sure they stay up on each grave until Flag Day on June 14. "Of all the mourners, the toughest ones to see when they come here are the parents of young children:' Winter said. He recalled a woman who lost a young son and visited the grave nearly every day for eight years. "Joe Winter deals with human beings dur- ing the most vulnerable moments of their lives:' said Rabbi Daniel Syme of Temple Beth El of Bloomfield Hills. Syme, who has worked with Winter for 17 years, said over- seeing a cemetery is a job that not many can emotionally withstand. "He supports all who come to the cem- etery at a time when they are looking for kindness, when their own inner coping resources are not there Syme said. One such person Winter has comforted in his work is Julie Unatin of Huntington Woods. On Valentine's Day, Feb. 14, 2000, Unatin gave birth to a son, Ryan. Five days later, baby Ryan died. What should have been the happiest of days for her, husband, Brian, and their two daughters turned out to be the / worst. In March of that same year, Unatin, a teacher consultant for the blind for the Oakland Intermediate School District, learned that another co-worker, Kate Salathiel, also had lost a child. The deaths of their children have created a special bond between the two women. Each winter, they support each other as they visit their children's gravesites in different cemeteries — not on the anniversary of their death, but on the day they were born. Expecting her arrival at Beth El Memorial Park, Winter clears a path to Ryan's grave in advance of her visit. Winter also makes sure that any snow is brushed away from the gravestone. "Every year I know what I will find:' Unatin said. "A beautiful stone that has been dusted and cleared; sprinkled with 14 years' worth of small tokens. Without even being asked, Joe makes my unbearable Valentine's Day a bit more bearable:' ❑ To nominate a Mentsh of the Month, contact Stacy Gittleman at stacy.gittleman@yahoo.com . -441 TRANSFORMING LOSS 4111111111111 TRANSFORMING LOSS A DOCUMENTARY Helping The Grieving Process Through Film Watch Detroit Public TV (Channel 56) this Sunday March 30th at 4 p.m. to see the important award-winning documentary, "Transforming Loss," produced by local filmmaker and therapist Judith Burdick. "Each person transforms his or her loss into a force for good and living with purpose" -Marney Rich Keenan, Detroit News "Crazy powerful!" Transformation... an opportunity to become -Rabbi E.B. (Bunny) Freedman, Director of The Jewish Hospice & Chaplaincy Network, West Bloomfield EXTRAORDINARY "A perfect balance of loss and hope" -David Techner, Past President of the MI Funeral Directors Association and Owner of The Ira Kaufman Chapel To learn more about the film visit www.transforminglossdocumentary.com "A very honest film" -Pat Lynch, Past President of the Ml and National Funeral Directors Association and President of Lynch & Sons Funeral Directors THE IRA KAUFMAN CHAPEL Bringing Together Family, Faith & Community 248.569.0020 www.irakaufman.com 18325 W. Nine Mile Road Southfield, MI 48075 Directed & Written by Judith R. Burdick Sound Recording Executive Producers Judith R. Burdick Original Music Composed Brian Fees Marguerite Parise and adapted by Gerald Roesser Producer Andre Bond Original Music Composed by Lauren Guz Director of Photography John Anderson Beavers ID ID A Film By Judith R. Burdick Trust Ole Process Productions 20200 Telegraph Road, Suite 125 Bingham Farms, 1A108025 wwwfaceboolccornMansforrningtoss wrientransforrninglossd mere/wen. 78 March 27 • 2014