health & wellness
Self-Worth
A solid self-esteem is based on a
realistic sense of your own abilities.
ii.1110 511110
Aurelia "L" shares her passion with
needlework among a group
of fellow residents.
STREET
REGE
c'dOF WEST
B1111 50MFIELDO9
An American House Senior Living Community
4460 Orchard Lake Rd I West Bloomfield, MI 48323
regentstreetwestbloomfield.com
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and tour:
(248) 683-1010
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6
64 April 25 • 2013
JN
p
oor self-esteem" is probably one
of the most common terms in
the psychological lexicon. In my
experience, the vast majority of people
with mental health problems
have problems with self-
esteem, and often the people
who on the surface appear
to have excellent self-esteem,
don't.
What goes into determin-
ing who winds up with solid,
intact self-esteem? It's a com-
plex issue, but the causes can
roughly be divided into two
major factors — psychologi-
cal/experiential and biological.
Sigmund Freud was correct
when he said how important the role of
parenting and the experiences children
have with their parents are in defining
how a person looks at himself and the
world around him.
People who come out as adults with
intact self-esteems often got a realistic
sense of their own abilities by how they
were treated by their parents and other
important adults in their world.
Unfortunately, children who are
neglected, criticized inappropriately,
abused and never receive praise for any
of their accomplishments usually turn
out to have poor self-esteem as adults.
Conversely, children who are con-
stantly praised no matter what they do,
are never expected to follow rules and
are never held accountable for their
actions, ironically, also fail to develop
intact self-esteem.
To have a strong sense of self-worth
(and therefore good self-esteem), a child
needs to get a realistic picture of his
strengths and weaknesses. Furthermore,
a child needs to also learn to toler-
ate some degree of frustration and be
allowed to make mistakes. Parents who
never say no, protecting their child from
even the smallest unpleasant feeling or
Jewish Book Fair
Seeks Local Authors
The Jewish Community Center of
Metropolitan Detroit's 62nd Annual
Jewish Book Fair will be held Nov.
6-17 and will feature leading figures
from the arts, entertainment, politics,
business, journalism and more.
The JCC is in search of local
authors for the fair. Books should
be written by Jewish authors and/
or have Jewish content, must have
a Michigan connection and must
discomfort, fail their children because
they grow up to expect everything to be
perfect and easy, which is not how it is in
the real world.
Sometimes people who
really do have intact senses
of themselves and good self-
esteem become depressed,
however, and feelings of
worthlessness and guilt are
common signs of depres-
sion. Fortunately, these
people, who are typically
well put-together, usually
respond positively to medi-
cal and psychological treat-
ment for mood disorders.
What can people do to
improve their self-esteem?
First, people need to realize that self-
esteem comes from within, not from
external forces. One of the best ways to
build self-esteem is to set a realistic goal
and work on it. There is nothing more
empowering than planning to do some-
thing and getting it done!
Furthermore, when setting a goal, it's
important to understand that it's OK to
make mistakes. Giving oneself permis-
sion not only to make mistakes, but
also to learn from them (rather than to
be afraid of them and defensive about
them) can be a great self-esteem builder.
It can also be incredibly rewarding to
work on things that we really don't want
to do, to do things that are somewhat
unpleasant, because the sense of satisfac-
tion when one is finished can be huge.
Finally, to be a good, worthwhile per-
son, you don't have to be No. 1 or the
best. Everyone is special and unique in
his or her own way.
❑
Dr. Beth Goldman is the medical director
of Behavioral Health at Blue Cross Blue
Shield of Michigan and can be reached
at bgoldman@bcbsm.com . For more
information on BCBS, visit www.bcbsm.com.
have been published in 2012 or 2013.
Fiction, non-fiction, poetry, cook-
books and more will be considered,
as will self-published material.
Those whose works are selected to
be included will have the opportunity
to participate in an event especially
for local authors and will have their
books available for sale at the fair.
The deadline for submissions is
June 1. For submission guidelines,
contact Sarah Gottlieb at bubesarah@
aol.com .