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Fighting Back from page 8
No Innocent Bystanders
Many anti-bullying activists, including Katz,
agree ifs important to focus on the bystand-
ers, those who unintentionally condone bul-
lying by choosing not to get involved. •
"Historically, there have been two catego-
ries: perpetrators and victims',' Katz said.
"The 'bystander approach' brings everyone
surrounding both groups into the conversa-
tion. Silence in the face of prejudice, bullying,
abuse and other bad behavior is a form of
consent:'
He added that the persecution of the Jews
by the Nazis was partially caused by the
"silence of good people'
"Silent consent is almost as bad as given
consent,' said Evan Grossman-Lempert, a
West Bloomfield teen who attended Katz's
presentation.
"It's important that teens get this infor-
mation at an early age,' said Rabbi Marla
Hornsten of Temple Israel, who helped coor-
dinate the April 16 event that was attended
by more than 250 teens.
Bully, The Movie
BBYO, the largest Jewish teen organization
in the world, has taken a stand against bully-
ing by partnering with Keshet, NFTY, Repair
the World and other groups to bring the
Bully documentary to audiences throughout
the country.
More than 200 teens and parents watched
the film at the Uptown Birmingham 8
on April 17. On the way into the theater,
everyone was asked to sign an anti-bullying
pledge card as part of a national BBYO cam-
paign aimed at Jewish teens called Stand UP
for Each Other: A Campaign for Respect and
Inclusion. The movie was followed by a brief
discussion, facilitated by BBYO teen coordi-
nators Matt Firsten of West Bloomfield and
Nicole Goodman of Orchard Lake. Audience
members were asked what action they
intended to take after seeing the film.
"I will not remain silent,' said Ryan
Feldman of West Bloomfield.
Other teens voiced similar sentiments,
vowing to help spread the word and stand
up against bullying when they see it.
they must feel safe,' said Kenneth Gutman,
superintendent of Walled Lake Consolidated
Schools. "We recognize the emotional needs
of our students are a significant factor in
their success in school and in life. As a result
of the Friendship Circle Upstander curricu-
lum, hundreds of our students have a new
depth of knowledge that will guide them for
years to come:'
BBYO youth attending the Bully screening: Lily Grier and Bri Dines, both of West
Bloomfield, Sam Gringlas of Farmington Hills and Josh Morof, Heather Rosenbaum
and Zander Chocron, all of West Bloomfield.
"I thought it was really intense,' said
Eliana Ungar of West Bloomfield."' was
shocked to see how the people [in authority]
did not react"
Other local sponsors of the Bully
screening included Defeat the Label, Adat
Shalom Synagogue, Congregation Beth
Ahm, Congregation Shir Tikvah, Jewish
Experiences for Families, Jewish Family
Services, Jewish Federation of Metropolitan
Detroit, Jewish Women's Foundation,
Opening the Doors Program of Federation's
Alliance for Jewish Education and the Youth
Federation of Temple
Israel (Y.ET.I.).
In his remarks to the
group after the film, Eric
Adelman, director of
Michigan Region BBYO,
talked about cyber bully-
ing, something that was
not depicted in the docu-
Eric Adelman
mentary which took place
mainly in rural areas.
Adelman said that bullying in communities
such as Metro Detroit was even more intense
because of the prolific use of social network-
ing sites via computers, smart phones and
other mobile devices.
"Technology provides more opportunities
for nonstop bullying," he said.
Adelman urged teens to ask the adults
in their lives and in the community to help
them handle situations where bullying is
occurring.
"Don't let us off the hook' he said.
The grim statistics and negative publicity
also have caused lawmakers to take action
to stop the torment. In December 2011, Gov.
Rick Snyder signed House Bill 4163 into
law, making Michigan the 48th state to pass
anti-bullying legislation. During the signing
ceremony, Snyder said that he was bullied
throughout his childhood and teenage years
for being a "nerd." The new law also requires
school districts to adopt anti-bullying poli-
cies or submit copies of their existing poli-
cies to the State Department of Education by
June of this year.
Taking A Stand
Bassie Shemtov, director of Friendship
Circle of Michigan, an organization that
provides programs for children with special
needs, has developed a curriculum called
"Upstander," geared toward teens who are
observers rather than perpetrators.
"The idea is to be an `Upstander' instead
of a bystander," said Shemtov."Eighty per-
cent of our kids are bystanders. They think
[bullying] is not their responsibility. No. It
is their responsibility. We need to teach our
teens that they can and should stand up
instead of standing by:'
During the 2011-12 school year, the
monthly Upstander course was held at West
Bloomfield High School, Andover High
School and Walled Lake Central, Northern
and Western high schools.
"For our children to achieve academically,
Stand for Change
An international anti-bullying event, spon-
sored by Defeat the Label, is scheduled on
May 4, when students in schools all over
the world will stand up at noon Eastern
Standard Time. To date, more than 600,000
students have registered to participate.
Defeat the Label, founded by West
Bloomfield businessmen Jeff Sakwa and
Kevin Goldman, is a nonprofit organization
that promotes a bully-free society free of
labels and stereotypes through awareness
campaigns, community outreach and spe-
cial events geared toward middle and high
school students. Schools can register for the
May 4 event at www.stand4change.org .
Empowering Teens And Parents
Judy Lipson, a West Bloomfield licensed pro-
fessional counselor and educator, said teens
can often combat bullying by developing
self-confidence and a sense of empower-
ment. She has developed specific techniques
to help students accomplish those goals.
"It's interesting to see the transforma-
tion of a student, who comes in scared
and shaking, once he learns to stand up
straight, smile and speak with confidence
she said.
Lipson also teaches students and par-
ents how to stand up to bullies by con-
fronting the aggressors or reporting the
behavior to an adult.
"Some of these kids did not know that it's
OK to have a voice she said. "They need to
be taught specific behaviors, and a lot of par-
ents don't know how to do that. It's a combi-
nation of building confidence and rewriting
old beliefs that most adults have had since
childhood."
❑
Tips To Prevent Bullying
does not take your concerns seriously, find
another adult.
Compiled from www.stopbullying.gov and other sources.
• Talk to your parents. Tell them everything
that has been going on. They can only help
you if they know the truth about the situation.
bullying in your community. Find out more
about where and when bullying happens
at your school. Think of possible solutions,
and share your ideas with members of the
administration and other students and
parents.
• Stand up for others when you see bullying.
Tell a parent, teacher or another trusted
adult.
• Write a blog, letter to the editor of your
local newspaper or tweet about bullying.
Create or join a school safety committee.
• Be kind to the person who is being bullied.
Include him at lunch, sit with him on the bus
or invite him to do something socially.
Resources:
• stopbullying.gov
• defeatthelabel.com
• stand4change.org
• charactersunite.com
• thebullyproject.com
• upstander.com
• adl.org (Anti-Defamation League)
• spiralwisdom.com (Judy Lipson's
website)
For Parents:
• Watch for signs that your child is being
bullied. These include unexplained injuries,
destroyed clothing or possessions, changes
in eating habits, difficulty sleeping, frequent
illness or faking sickness to stay home from
school, declining grades, avoidance of social
situations.
• Encourage your children to talk about
what is going on at school. Many kids are
embarrassed to tell their parents they are
being bullied. Let them know it is not their
fault.
10 April 26 * 2012
• If you know your child is being bullied
at school or on the bus, speak to an
administrator. If you do not get results, go to
someone at the next level. Demand action; do
not allow your concerns to be brushed aside.
Your children have the right to be safe and
protected at school.
For Children And Teens:
• If you are being bullied, tell the bully to stop
bothering you or simply ignore the person or
walk away.
• If the bullying continues, tell an adult, a
teacher, counselor or principal. If that person
• Remember that saying nothing means you
think it is OK to treat others that way. Let the
bullies know that this kind of behavior is not
acceptable.
• Get involved. Become a leader in preventing