metro Fighting Back from page 8 No Innocent Bystanders Many anti-bullying activists, including Katz, agree ifs important to focus on the bystand- ers, those who unintentionally condone bul- lying by choosing not to get involved. • "Historically, there have been two catego- ries: perpetrators and victims',' Katz said. "The 'bystander approach' brings everyone surrounding both groups into the conversa- tion. Silence in the face of prejudice, bullying, abuse and other bad behavior is a form of consent:' He added that the persecution of the Jews by the Nazis was partially caused by the "silence of good people' "Silent consent is almost as bad as given consent,' said Evan Grossman-Lempert, a West Bloomfield teen who attended Katz's presentation. "It's important that teens get this infor- mation at an early age,' said Rabbi Marla Hornsten of Temple Israel, who helped coor- dinate the April 16 event that was attended by more than 250 teens. Bully, The Movie BBYO, the largest Jewish teen organization in the world, has taken a stand against bully- ing by partnering with Keshet, NFTY, Repair the World and other groups to bring the Bully documentary to audiences throughout the country. More than 200 teens and parents watched the film at the Uptown Birmingham 8 on April 17. On the way into the theater, everyone was asked to sign an anti-bullying pledge card as part of a national BBYO cam- paign aimed at Jewish teens called Stand UP for Each Other: A Campaign for Respect and Inclusion. The movie was followed by a brief discussion, facilitated by BBYO teen coordi- nators Matt Firsten of West Bloomfield and Nicole Goodman of Orchard Lake. Audience members were asked what action they intended to take after seeing the film. "I will not remain silent,' said Ryan Feldman of West Bloomfield. Other teens voiced similar sentiments, vowing to help spread the word and stand up against bullying when they see it. they must feel safe,' said Kenneth Gutman, superintendent of Walled Lake Consolidated Schools. "We recognize the emotional needs of our students are a significant factor in their success in school and in life. As a result of the Friendship Circle Upstander curricu- lum, hundreds of our students have a new depth of knowledge that will guide them for years to come:' BBYO youth attending the Bully screening: Lily Grier and Bri Dines, both of West Bloomfield, Sam Gringlas of Farmington Hills and Josh Morof, Heather Rosenbaum and Zander Chocron, all of West Bloomfield. "I thought it was really intense,' said Eliana Ungar of West Bloomfield."' was shocked to see how the people [in authority] did not react" Other local sponsors of the Bully screening included Defeat the Label, Adat Shalom Synagogue, Congregation Beth Ahm, Congregation Shir Tikvah, Jewish Experiences for Families, Jewish Family Services, Jewish Federation of Metropolitan Detroit, Jewish Women's Foundation, Opening the Doors Program of Federation's Alliance for Jewish Education and the Youth Federation of Temple Israel (Y.ET.I.). In his remarks to the group after the film, Eric Adelman, director of Michigan Region BBYO, talked about cyber bully- ing, something that was not depicted in the docu- Eric Adelman mentary which took place mainly in rural areas. Adelman said that bullying in communities such as Metro Detroit was even more intense because of the prolific use of social network- ing sites via computers, smart phones and other mobile devices. "Technology provides more opportunities for nonstop bullying," he said. Adelman urged teens to ask the adults in their lives and in the community to help them handle situations where bullying is occurring. "Don't let us off the hook' he said. The grim statistics and negative publicity also have caused lawmakers to take action to stop the torment. In December 2011, Gov. Rick Snyder signed House Bill 4163 into law, making Michigan the 48th state to pass anti-bullying legislation. During the signing ceremony, Snyder said that he was bullied throughout his childhood and teenage years for being a "nerd." The new law also requires school districts to adopt anti-bullying poli- cies or submit copies of their existing poli- cies to the State Department of Education by June of this year. Taking A Stand Bassie Shemtov, director of Friendship Circle of Michigan, an organization that provides programs for children with special needs, has developed a curriculum called "Upstander," geared toward teens who are observers rather than perpetrators. "The idea is to be an `Upstander' instead of a bystander," said Shemtov."Eighty per- cent of our kids are bystanders. They think [bullying] is not their responsibility. No. It is their responsibility. We need to teach our teens that they can and should stand up instead of standing by:' During the 2011-12 school year, the monthly Upstander course was held at West Bloomfield High School, Andover High School and Walled Lake Central, Northern and Western high schools. "For our children to achieve academically, Stand for Change An international anti-bullying event, spon- sored by Defeat the Label, is scheduled on May 4, when students in schools all over the world will stand up at noon Eastern Standard Time. To date, more than 600,000 students have registered to participate. Defeat the Label, founded by West Bloomfield businessmen Jeff Sakwa and Kevin Goldman, is a nonprofit organization that promotes a bully-free society free of labels and stereotypes through awareness campaigns, community outreach and spe- cial events geared toward middle and high school students. Schools can register for the May 4 event at www.stand4change.org . Empowering Teens And Parents Judy Lipson, a West Bloomfield licensed pro- fessional counselor and educator, said teens can often combat bullying by developing self-confidence and a sense of empower- ment. She has developed specific techniques to help students accomplish those goals. "It's interesting to see the transforma- tion of a student, who comes in scared and shaking, once he learns to stand up straight, smile and speak with confidence she said. Lipson also teaches students and par- ents how to stand up to bullies by con- fronting the aggressors or reporting the behavior to an adult. "Some of these kids did not know that it's OK to have a voice she said. "They need to be taught specific behaviors, and a lot of par- ents don't know how to do that. It's a combi- nation of building confidence and rewriting old beliefs that most adults have had since childhood." ❑ Tips To Prevent Bullying does not take your concerns seriously, find another adult. Compiled from www.stopbullying.gov and other sources. • Talk to your parents. Tell them everything that has been going on. They can only help you if they know the truth about the situation. bullying in your community. Find out more about where and when bullying happens at your school. Think of possible solutions, and share your ideas with members of the administration and other students and parents. • Stand up for others when you see bullying. Tell a parent, teacher or another trusted adult. • Write a blog, letter to the editor of your local newspaper or tweet about bullying. Create or join a school safety committee. • Be kind to the person who is being bullied. Include him at lunch, sit with him on the bus or invite him to do something socially. Resources: • stopbullying.gov • defeatthelabel.com • stand4change.org • charactersunite.com • thebullyproject.com • upstander.com • adl.org (Anti-Defamation League) • spiralwisdom.com (Judy Lipson's website) For Parents: • Watch for signs that your child is being bullied. These include unexplained injuries, destroyed clothing or possessions, changes in eating habits, difficulty sleeping, frequent illness or faking sickness to stay home from school, declining grades, avoidance of social situations. • Encourage your children to talk about what is going on at school. Many kids are embarrassed to tell their parents they are being bullied. Let them know it is not their fault. 10 April 26 * 2012 • If you know your child is being bullied at school or on the bus, speak to an administrator. If you do not get results, go to someone at the next level. Demand action; do not allow your concerns to be brushed aside. Your children have the right to be safe and protected at school. For Children And Teens: • If you are being bullied, tell the bully to stop bothering you or simply ignore the person or walk away. • If the bullying continues, tell an adult, a teacher, counselor or principal. If that person • Remember that saying nothing means you think it is OK to treat others that way. Let the bullies know that this kind of behavior is not acceptable. • Get involved. Become a leader in preventing