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New Year Musings
H
appy New Year! As a Jew, I feel
fortunate to have the secular
New Year, or as I like to refer
to it as: "The Do Over." It's a second
chance to live up to my
Yom Kippur resolutions.
This year, I skipped Times
Square, opting instead to
stay here and experience
the exhilaration of stand-
ing outside Siegel's Deli
watching the giant matzo
ball drop at midnight.
3-2-1 ... Let's eat!
Speaking of eating, the
holiday season has come
and gone, and I trust you
had a wonderful Chanukah.
I love the story that is the
Festival of Lights, when
miracle of miracles, one day's worth
of oil lasted eight days. (Wouldn't you
know it, the electrician finally showed
up at the Temple on the ninth day.)
Today, we just go to Costco where you
can buy enough oil to last a decade —
or to make a dozen lathes, whichever
comes first.
Meanwhile, I can't wait until next
Chanukah when my new suspense novel
hits bookshelves. Inspired by Hannibal
Lecter, I'll introduce you to Chanukah
Lecter, the spine-tingling story of a
Jewish cannibal who keeps kosher,
as told through the eyes of
Chanukah Lecter's half-brother.
He didn't start out as his half
brother, he ... never mind.
So, what's in store for us in
2012? Some prognosticators
predicted the end of the world.
To be honest, my world already
came crashing down upon
hearing of the breakup of Kim
Kardashian's marriage. I'm
still healing emotionally. My
biggest fear is that when the
world finally does come to an
end, it will be, with our luck, on
the eve of the Lion's first Super
Bowl appearance. Please, please, let us
all live long enough to witness that!
By the way, the big local event of the
New Year is only days away — the 2012
North American International Auto
Show at Cobo Center. I'm particularly
excited because I designed several con-
cept cars being showcased, including
the all-new Cadillac EMS. It goes from
zero to the nearest hospital in under
DI CONTENTS
minute s . Plus, 7ewish customers
can upgrade their Cadillac EMS with
OnStar of David. And wives will love
the EMS's GPS because they'll be able
to swap out the factory-installed voice
that gives directions for their own.
Hands down though, the biggest
story of 2012 will be the November
election. Voting is the single most
important thing we citizens do. That's
why I've promised myself that I will
really get to know each candidate
before casting my vote for Wayne State
University trustee. It's just un-Ameri-
can for me to continue voting based on
"Eenie Meenie Miny Moe." I just hope
the WSU trustee candidates' campaigns
don't go negative again. And finally,
don't underestimate the importance of
the election for your area's drain com-
missioner. Ask yourself, are your drains
better off today than they were four
years ago? Let's just hope this year our
politicians actually get something done
before we all go down the drain! Happy,
healthy New Year, everybody!
Alan Muskovitz is a writer, speaker, emcee
and voiceover talent. Visit his website at
laughwithbigal.com.
theJEWISHNEWS•com
Jan. 5-11, 2012 I 10-16 Tevet 5772 I Vol. CXL, No. 22
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Years ago, Rob Schwartz was
Federation's Young Adult Division
liaison to Hebrew Free Loan, and
was impressed as he learned more
and more about the agency. "When I
chose to be part of this group, I had
no idea what they did, but I showed
up, and they put me right to work."
Since that time, Rob remained active
on the HFL Board, helping to shape
policies and initiatives, including the
launch of the small business loan
program.
As HFL President, Rob has nothing
but praise for HFL's mission. "The
values we utilize every day with our
borrowers are the very same ones
employed by the merchants who
founded our agency 117 years ago,"
says Rob. "They help form one of the
Jewish community's greatest assets.
You can see it in our engaged and
active board, well-run administration,
and the number of people we help.
Many people come away with the
ability to bridge the gaps and sustain
their lives, which is so important."
The story doesn't end here.
Health. A fresh start.
A good education.
The next great idea.
Hebrew Free Loan gives interest-
free loans to members of our
community for a variety of
personal and small business
needs. HFL loans are funded
entirely through community
donations which continually
recycle to others, generating
many times the original value
to help maintain the lives of
local Jews.
www.hfldetroit.org
248.723.8184
HEBREW
FREE*LOAN
hfidetroit.org
We Provide Loans.
We Promise Dignity.
6735 Telegraph Road, Suite 300 • Bloomfield Hills, MI 48301
rc k ebw
r ook ''.Like Hebrew Free loon Detroit
111 ed
_ Fe
Attlopolpten Defog
'RE PART OF THE TEAM .
January 5 2012
3