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October 27, 2011 - Image 44

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2011-10-27

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

COMMUNITY

JEWFRO

Fine Art Appraisers and Auctioneers — Since 199.7

Au cti

Smash Stache Backlash

n

By Ben Falik

t is a truth universally acknowledged that
a single man in possession of a good face
must be in want of a moustache. Yet, for all
its historic pride, prejudice against the once
mighty moustache has never been greater.
To be clear, I'm not referring to any of the
following: beard, goatee, soul patch, Fu Man-
chu, chin puff, imperial, Van Dyke, Zappa or
any other variety of furrier facial hair — each
with its own champions and detractors —
but rather an old-school, above-the-lip soup
strainer.
Only tacitly permitted on policemen, and
grandfathered-in on grandfathers, a man's
moustache is likely to provoke one of two
equally disturbing reactions: adult film star or
sex offender; or worse yet, hipster.
Why the long face for short whiskers? My
take: In this ironic age, no one could be seri-
ously serious about sporting a 'stache. There's
just too much cultural baggage — from stoic,
sepia-toned serfs to fuzzy-faced fascists — for
a moustache on a modern face to be per-
ceived as anything but conceit.
Tattoos earn their presence through per-
petuity and gender equality has propagated
piercings, but moustaches are trapped in a
self-fulfilling prophecy of parody.
Tarnation! It's high time to take a stand for
the 'stache. Or, as the moustachioed Mahatma
Gandhi actually said, "be the shave you wish
to see in the world."So, I'm putting my upper
lip where my mouth is this month, which has
become known by many a manly-man as
"Movember."
Jest? Surely I don't. As ruggedly relayed at
movember.com,"During November each year,
Movember is responsible for the sprouting of
moustaches on thousands of men's faces, in
the U.S. and around the world. With their Mos,
these men raise vital funds and awareness for
men's health, specifically prostate cancer and
other cancers that affect men."
So, if you see me sipping a slow-brew cof-
fee at Corktown's Astro, shooting the duck at
Bonaventure or ordering up some faux-He-
brew shirts at Brody's, don't be alarmed. Who
knows — it might actually look good.
The Jewish 'stache, after all, has a rich
tradition highlighted by the likes of Albert
Einstein and Mark Spitz. Occam's Razor Blade,
however, suggests I will look fully foolish,
given failed former facial-hair forays — and
the way-recessive pirate genes make much of
my beard red.
Wonder what you would look like with
some whimsical whiskers? Thanks to Sum-
mer in the City friend Ian Charnas, you barely
need wander to turn that wonder into want.
Ian created LiveStache (Iivestache.com ), an
iPhone app that uses state-of-the-art artificial
intelligence to digitally paint a moustache
on any face it detects. According to Ian, "This
past year, I grew a handlebar moustache, and
I was overwhelmed by the positive comments
I got from both friends and strangers," he said.
"They really liked it and I thought,1 want to
give the world a moustache.:"
Will we live to see a day in which the
moustache reclaims a place of masterful,
mainstream machismo on the mantels of
our mouths? I'll stumble into my stubble-a-
thon the day after Halloween; but, however
sweet, this is neither trick nor treat. There's
no saying if 30 days hath Movember. Instead,
this could be the beginning of a beautiful fur-
iendship. Or, for follicles' sake, I might have to
take a page out of the Book of Groucho, that
moustached maven's manual:Those are my
principles, and if you don't like them ... well, I
have others.
In the meantime, you can check out my
progress and support the cause at MoBro.co/
falik. ,'“,-

I

MARSHALL FREDERICKS (AMER. 1908-1998),
BRONZE, SIGNED

ARTHUR WARDLE (BRITISH 1864-1949),
OIL ON CANVAS

ANDY WARHOL [U.S. 1028-813 COLOR SCREENPRINTS,
PORTRAITS OF ARTISTS (IN 100 PARTS)

1967, 20" X 20",

HANDEL REVERSE PAINTED GLASS SATURDAY FEATURE: CHINESE
"HYDRANGEA" LAMP, CIRCA 1900
CARVED IVORY FIGURES

VAN CLEEF & ARPELS 18KT GOLD CASE

FELIX ZIEM (FRENCH, 1821-1911), OIL ON WOOD PANEL

'What s In cur

Find out the value of your treasures at DuMouchelle s free appraisa
Wednesdays and Saturdays from llam-fpm, we will b
pleased to accept artwork and antiques for our upcoming monthly auctions

DETRotT MI 4822,6
409 E . LATE
.1)1.1M.OA RT. co NI
TEL 313.963.6255 w

8 November 2011 I

RED MAD

www.redthreadmagazine.com

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