ETCETERA
THE GINA MONOLOGUES
It's Your Independence Day, Baby!
How to dump a jerk in time for the Fourth of July.
By Gina Volpe
he Fourth of July is nigh, which means it's
the season for pounding back hot dogs,
boozing on boats and celebrating the spirit
of Independence Day by dumping your crappy
boyfriend (or girlfriend) and rolling solo.
Still, it can be difficult to put the kibosh on
a dead relationship, especially when the other
person is really good at mowing the lawn — and
you get anxiety at the thought of dating again.
Fret not, loves, because I've blown through enough rotten
romances to compile this handy list of the best ways to shake off a
bad relationship — like a flea.
T
, Quit that mess cold turkey. Breakups should be like tearing
off a Band-Aid: quick, painless and, hopefully, done without
ripping out any hair. People often make the mistake of staying
connected on Facebook or keeping the ex's number saved.
However, moving on requires having the dignity and self-
esteem necessary to attract a plethora of rebound hookups.
After all, you've got some catching up to do! Delete the
ex from your life so you can finally focus on what's most
important: Kissing people you actually like.
Tie up loose ends before doing the deed. Nothing
can put a dark cloud over a holiday weekend like realizing mid-burger that your ex —
whom you just erased from every social network, phone and buddy list — still has your
1996 No Doubt concert T-shirt or favorite toenail clippers.
It's much easier to replace a boyfriend or girlfriend than it is your vintage copy of the
Thriller album, so handle this business with care. You can either let it go, and thus part
with a cherished treasure, or stoop to asking for the item back and run the risk of your ex
having used it for taking care of certain bodily functions. (Warning:This is a legitimate
possibility, as I can attest!)
here simply isn't
another restaurant
in the area that
can boast the
offering of a more
abundant array of
fresh fish and
pristine seafood flown in daily from around>the world.
Don't try to be friends in an attempt to alleviate your"Dumper's Guilt." Nobody
who has recently been dumped accepts an offer of friendship without hoping it will turn
back into a relationship, and then doing annoying things to try to make that happen.
Nothing can turn a dumper's bored indifference to burning hatred faster than a few
weeks of being "friends." You'll check your phone, hoping the latest text is from your
rebound babe, but see a "friendly" message from your buzzkill ex.
You'll say to yourself, "Ugh, didn't I get rid of you?" but then remember you're now
obligated as a "friend"to be nice instead of saying, "BUZZ OFF!" like you want to do.
Your resentment will build until finally you snap and cut ties — like you should have
done all along — but now you'll have to find something to do with the creepy John
Mayer and Michael Buble CDs he left in your mailbox as a "friendly" gesture.
Landlubbers will find
plenty to enjoy too
including fresh poultry,
premium aged cuts of
beef and lamb chops.
Tim-
"Many folks still look back wistfully on those
glory days of Joe Muer Seafood in Detroit,
and with good reason... (the) Detroit Seafood
Market can fill the seemingly lacking void
of this fine seafood dining institution."
ing is key. Are you worried the dumpee might take the news badly
and try to murder you or, worse, "talk"? Do you have Fourth of July
plans that involve being at a remote cottage with no cell phone
service?
If so, do your dumping right before and then escape to the cot-
tage while everything blows over. Attention spans are short
these days (thanks, Twitter!) so the poor chump will prob-
ably forget about it by the time you return.
If, however, the soon-to-be-dumped has a cool
boat or cabin, or mad grilling skills, obviously wait
until after the weekend has passed so you can still
get in on that.
From munching on burgers to water skiing to pop-
ping illegal fireworks, there is simply too much fun to
be had over the Fourth of July weekend to leave room
for a bad relationship.
Let the spirit of Independence Day inspire you with the
courage to break free of your relationship shackles and be
reborn as an independent singleton, like the Founding
Fathers would have wanted.
CULINARY QUICKSTEP
Danny Raskin - Jewish News
••• ■
Ow
PIO
M. AM
London Broil with Rosemary
&&LUNCH
espite its fancy sounding name, this dish is easy to pre-
pare and cooks in less than 30 minutes.The London broil
cut is lean, so there is little fat or grizzle to contend with.
You gotta like that. Pair with a green salad and some mini
roasted potatoes and — voila! — instant dinner. The biggest
time-consumer here is the wait time that is recommended
between prep and cooking (3 hours to overnight).
D
I Please present this coupon prior to placing your order and receive a free lunch entrée
with the purchase of another lunch entrée of equal or greater value.
Offer good Monday through Friday. Offer not valid in conjunction with other promotional discounts. Offer expires July 31, 2011
Deir6(d Sat
I Offer good seven days a week. Offer not valid in =junction with other promotional discounts. Offer expires July 31, 2011
Debv-d
/140-
1435 Randolph St. • Detroit • 313.962.4180 • (Located in Paradise Valley) • thecletroitseafoodmarkeLcom
Directions
Put the meat in a seal-tight plastic bag.
Combine the olive oil, soy sauce, brown
sugar, rosemary, pepper, salt and garlic.
Seal and toss to coat. Place the meat
in the refrigerator for at least 3 hours;
remove and let stand, at room tempera-
ture, for 30 minutes. Preheat the grill to
medium-hot or set your oven to broil.
Remove the meat from the bag but save
the marinade for basting. Grill or broil,
basting liberally, for 10 minutes on each
side (for medium-rare) or longer, depend-
ing on how you like it cooked.
Place the meat on a cutting board and let
your masterpiece stand for 5 minutes. Cut
against the grain into thin strips.
2 1/2 pounds London broil
1
t-/--&IDINN ER
Please
, present this coupon prior to placing your order and receive a free dinner
entree with the purchase of another dinner entrée of equal or greater value.
/2 cup olive oil
/2 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1 /4 cup light brown sugar
3 Tbsp. coarsely chopped fresh rosemary
(or 1 Tbsp. dried rosemary)
1 1/2 Tbsp. coarsely ground pepper
1 tsp. sea salt
6 cloves of garlic, minced
Ingredients
1435 Randolph St. • Detroit • 313.9624180 • <Located in Paradise Valley) • thedetroitseafoodmarket.com
1
r
Y
— By Red Thread Staff
18 July 2011 I
RED 11111E/ID
www.redthreadmagazine.com