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How Far Will They Go? from page 10
desire and self-confidence to pursue their
dreams. So you reap the benefits — or
downside — of that," she said.
"As much as I'd love for them to live
right here, I understand that it's their life
and their decisions. I'm not going to make
them feel guilty for moving away. I'm very
proud of them."
With the birth of Samara comes a new
focus.
"I'm beyond sad when I think of
my relationship with my grandchild,"
Birnholtz said. "When I imagine how close
we could be, how much we could share,
how involved and supportive a relation-
ship we could have if they all lived here,
that's what's sacrificed when they live out
of town.
"I want to nurture as close a relation-
ship as we can. I always have to remember
that it's not about me. They didn't move
away because they don't like me or us.
They moved away because they had the
support to do it. And we all know that we'll
have to work hard to maintain a relation-
ship as close as possible — lots of visits,
lots of Skyping [online video calling]."
Movini Out
Some parents are frustrated by their chil-
dren's moves. But Loraine and Mark Kuhn
of West Bloomfield applaud the choices
theirs are making.
"My kids and their friends are moving
to cities that are open 2417',' said Loraine
Kuhn. "They are drawn to cities not only
because jobs are available, but because
there is always something to do. These cit-
ies offer a myriad of things to do that sat-
isfy their social, academic, intellectual and
recreational needs.
"Even from a Jewish perspective, these
ComePlayDetroit: Year-round social
programming and intramural sports.
Contact Justin Jacobs at (248) 845-
8273 or justin@comeplaydetroit.com .
Detroit Cards Night Cluster:
Weekly card games. YAD and
CommunityNEXT. Contact: Brandon
Pomish at bpomish@gmail.com .
Detroit Outdoors Cluster:
Activities include hiking, kayaking,
runs and rock climbing. YAD and
CommunityNEXT. Contact: Ben Chutz
at bchutz@gmail.com .
Detroit Torah on Tap Cluster:
Torah discussion with Rabbi Leiby
12
March 31 2011
cities offer weekly activities
for us here — and no one to
wherever you are on the reli-
date?'" Richard Victor asked.
gious spectrum. Unfortunately,
At one point, each of
Detroit simply cannot compete!"
Richard and Denise Victor's
Twenty-six-year-old Alana
three children lived out of
and 23-year-old Daniel Kuhn
state. All of them have come
both lived in Washington, D.C.
home. And each is married or
Recently they each came home
has a significant other they
briefly, but are set to leave
met in Michigan.
again. Alana plans to work in
Daniel Victor, 34, moved
D.C. until starting law school at
back following law school in
Catholic University in August.
Vermont to practice law with
"Daniel came back to Detroit
his dad. He and his wife Tracy
for a job — to work on a
and their children, Davis, 4, and
political campaign — which
Stirling, 1, live in Clarkston.
ended in November, but is job
After graduating from
Members of the Victor family, clockwise: Daniel, Sandra,
hunting again and planning to
Emory University School of
Richard, Denise, Ronald and Richard's mother, Helen.
leave Detroit," Mark Kuhn said.
Law in Atlanta, Ronald Victor
"Nearly all of the opportunities
came home to study for the
have been outside of Michigan.
ous economic challenges in this city com-
bar. He said, 'I'm never going
"Daniel and Alana have been involved
pared to options that exist in other cities, it
to meet anyone here:" said his dad. "Then,
in job and networking activities in Detroit,
is stifling to be here.
the very first day of the law review course,
such as [Federation's]CommunityNEXT, but
"Many of us have looked outside of
he met Heather, who is now his girlfriend."
it doesn't address the short-term life and
Detroit for jobs and, to be honest, if my kids
Richard Victor credits family closeness
career goals that they have."
were raising families elsewhere, we would
along with positive peer pressure as par-
He said he would be happy if his children consider following them at some point in
tial reasons his children returned home.
found work in Michigan, but doesn't expect
our lives.
"We, as parents, can try to guilt our
it.
"My view is that if their friends were
kids into coming back, but nothing works
"I see that other cities offer the best
staying, if young people were coming here
like having their own generation let them
opportunities for them," he said. "They
for jobs, if unemployment was low and
know what works best for them," he said.
want careers in the public sector, federal
salaries high, it would be a more positive
"Ronald moved home at the encourage-
government, and at this stage in their lives,
environment," Kuhn said. "I would imagine
ment of his brother, who convinced him
the pull is to Washington."
that at some point in the future, if all of the
life was better here."
Even so, Kuhn said, "I love living in
above were more positive, and they were
The Victors' daughter Sandra, 28, of
West Bloomfield and in Michigan. Family,
ready to move on to a different career that
Bloomfield Hills, came home after attend-
friends, synagogue — all offer a great qual- is more involved with community or educa- ing college in Arizona and was able to find
ity of life. It would be perfect, if only my
tion or private practice, that Detroit would
a position as a cosmetologist locally
kids felt that their aspirations could be as
be worth considering."
"And she met a nice young man, Adam
successfully fulfilled as we have been able
Cosola [of Bloomfield Hills]," Victor said.
to do in the Detroit Metro area.
Pa rtnershps
"He was one of her first clients; I have
"But I also realize that for a young person "How many times have we heard our kids
known his family from synagogue for over
who has different priorities, and the obvi-
and their friends say, 'There's nothing
35 years."
Burnham for those 21 and older. YAD
and CommunityNEXT. Contact: Jaimee
Wine at jaimeewine®gmail.com .
Detroit Books Cluster: Book club.
YAD and CommunityNEXT. Contact:
Dani Glickfeld, dggotb@gmail.com .
Detroit Food Cluster: For food
enthusiasts. YAD and CommunityNEXT.
Contact: Ben Chutz at bchutz@gmail.
corm
Detroit Yoga Cluster: Learn or
practice yoga. For all skill levels. YAD
and CommunityNEXT. Contact: Abby
Reiss at areiss®wayne.edu .
Tea and Text: Casual, weekly study of
Jewish texts with Rabbi Leiby Burnham.
7 p.m. Mondays at Goldfish Tea in
Royal Oak. Contact: Rachel Lachover at
rachel@communityNXT.com .
Partners in Torah: Learners of any
religious observance level study topics
of their choice with a mentor provided
at Yeshiva Beth Yehudah in Southfield.
Tuesday evenings from 8-9p.m.
Contact: Roche' Leah Black at info®
partnersdetroit.org or (248) 583-2476.
FedEd: Jewish Education for
Adult Learners: Meets weekly
for 8-14 weeks. Contact: Judy Loebl
at Alliance for Jewish Education at
Loebl@jfmd.org or (248) 642-4618.
Melton PEP (Parent Education
Program): Adaptation of traditional
Melton for parents of young children.
Contact: Judy Loebl at Alliance for
Jewish Education at Loebl@jfmd.org or
(248) 642-4618.
Entrée: Four-part YAD program to
learn more about the Metro Detroit
Jewish community and its agencies.
Contact: Jessica Goodwin at goodwin®
jfmd.org or (248) 203-1470.
JVS Employment Services:
Individual assistance and group
seminars to develop resumes, refine