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Q:

My ex-girlfriend has just started
dating somebody new and it's killing
me because I still have feelings for her.
Should I come clean and try to
reconcile our relationship before she
gets too serious with her new man?

Need some
advice? Are
you looking
for solutions
for troubling
run-ins and
problems
dealing with
relationships,
family and
friends?
Yenta's here with her
youthful perspective.

A:

Dear Brokenhearted: Getting over an ex
can take an unexpectedly long time. And no
matter where your feelings stand, the first
time your ex goes out with someone else, it
always hurts. Before you go back to an ex and
confess a blanket of emotions, decide if your
feelings are coming from a true place in your
heart or if you are perhaps reacting to the
situation of them being with someone else,
not you. More than likely it is going to be the
second and, in this case, it would be unfair to
stop your ex from meeting someone new. If
you are standing in the first category though,
depending on how things ended and who
did the breaking up, you should be careful on
how you approach. If you broke up with her,
I'm afraid you're packing a little less ammo to
go back with, and girls certainly don't enjoy
playing the back-and-forth game. However,
if your break-up was under more benign
terms, or if she broke up with you, you can
certainly put in one more effort and let her
know your feelings.

To ask Yenta your
question, e-mail yenta@
thejevvishnews.com and
look for your question
here in this column!

Whatever happens here you should respect
her choice and act tactfully. The worst thing
to do would be to call drunk at 2 a.m. or try
and speak to her while she is out with the
other guy!

Q: I just broke off a seven-year
relationship. How soon do you think
it would be acceptable to start dating
again without it being considered a
rebound?

A:

Dear Long-Term Taken. To answer your
question point blank, no matter how long you
wait, those first few dates or hook-ups will
always be rebounds. True, the term "rebound"
has coined a negative connotation, but don't
undermine its purpose. After a break-up, even
though you won't be looking for something
serious right off the bat, you need to begin
to reintroduce yourself to the social scene
around you. I don't think there is an appro-
priate amount of time recommended to wait
between breakups and starting to date again;
every heart heals on their own time. But I
would be cautious of jumping right back into
something committed after such a long term
relationship. Take some time for yourself, pick
up some new hobbies and put the focus in
your life back on you for a while.

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THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 16. 2010

7.00 — 9:30PM

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jarc.org

EAT PRAY LOVE

It wasn't a break-up per se, but after being
completely rejected by what I thought was
my perfect man, I did what any single, 20-
something Detroit girl would do: I got in my
car and drove to Chicago for a long weekend
of wine (from a box), cheese (in the form of
deep-dish pizza) and male bashing with my
girlfriends. But before driving off into the
sunset (actually, it was a monsoon), my sister
stopped by and dropped off a copy of Eat
Pray Love.
"Read it," she urged. "Just not while you're
driving."
Lucky for her, or maybe for me, I got stuck
in a massive traffic jam and had a whole 2

hours of sitting parked on 1-94 to crack open
the book. Yes, two hours. Without moving. So
I started reading and was instantly whisked
away — from the flooding, from the traffic
and from the pain of being rejected yet again.
For the three of you (or any guys) who
didn't read it, Eat Pray Love is the story of
Elizabeth Gilbert, a woman unhappy in
what should be a perfect marriage. Feeling
stuck, Elizabeth leaves her perfect-on-paper
life behind and takes off on a yearlong jour-
ney. Through her travels — eating her way
through Italy, meditation in India and open-
ing herself up to love in Bali — Elizabeth
gets over her heartbreak and finds out who

Coming To Theatres August 13!

How would you define yourself after a heartbreak, break-
up or unexpected transition; "EAT," "LOVE" or "PRAY"?

E-mail your answers with a brief description of why to detmovi-
escreenings@gmail.com for a chance to win an EAT PRAY LOVE T-shirt
and bracelet plus one admit-two advance screening pass to see the
film! Please put DETROIT JEWISH NEWS as the subject line along with a
phone number of where you can be contacted.

she is in the process.
And following her on this journey is
all at once uplifting and inspiring (with a
hint of mouthwatering). So much so that
it took me 10 minutes and a lot of angry
honking to realize that the cars around me
had started moving on the highway.
Most of us don't have the time or money
to take off on a globe-trotting expedition
when our hearts are broken (I could barely
afford the tolls on the Skyway), but that
doesn't mean that we can't learn a thing or
Javier Bardem as "Felipe" and Julia
two from Elizabeth's experience. It wasn't
Roberts as "Elizabeth Gilbert" in Indonesia
where she was that allowed her to trans-
in Columbia Pictures' EAT PRAY LOVE.
form; it was what she was doing and the
order in which she did it.
drop-ins at Yoga Shelter or even just keeping
We don't need to be in some exotic loca-
a personal journal (or blog) where we speak
tion to allow ourselves a transformation; we
honestly about ourselves and our feelings. It
just need to let go (eat), focus our attention
is at that point, once we're content with our
inward (pray) and be open again when we're
indulgences and at peace with ourselves, that
finally ready (love). That could be as easy as a
we can truly move on from that [insert
trip to Sanders for a creme puff (or 12),
inappropriate name for the ex here] who
taking a little money out of savings and going
broke our hearts.
on a trip somewhere we've always wanted to
And we can do it all without dealing with
go or even just indulging in that new watch
the long flights and heavy suitcases of a
at Tapper's. Once we're feeling good, we can
worldwide tour.
begin looking inward; maybe that's a few
D Town Dater

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In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region. If you
would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or
rlachover@thejewishnews.com . JOIN US ON FACEBOOK; search our group name and fan page "SE MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE"

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August 5 • 2010