SOUTHEASTERN MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE FOR THE MUST-KNOW INS AND OUTS OF THE YOUNG ADULT JEWISH COMMUNITY! • Don't miss the dating advice on the SINGLES SCENE. • Find all your family needs on the FAMILY SCOOP. • Stay in touch with networking trends by reading MICHIGAN BUSINESS. • Land a job on the JOB HUNT page. - THERE'S A PAGE THAT'S RIGHT FOR YOU! A Great Place To Live. A Great Pike To Be Jewish. events hot spots Q: My ex-girlfriend has just started dating somebody new and it's killing me because I still have feelings for her. Should I come clean and try to reconcile our relationship before she gets too serious with her new man? Need some advice? Are you looking for solutions for troubling run-ins and problems dealing with relationships, family and friends? Yenta's here with her youthful perspective. A: Dear Brokenhearted: Getting over an ex can take an unexpectedly long time. And no matter where your feelings stand, the first time your ex goes out with someone else, it always hurts. Before you go back to an ex and confess a blanket of emotions, decide if your feelings are coming from a true place in your heart or if you are perhaps reacting to the situation of them being with someone else, not you. More than likely it is going to be the second and, in this case, it would be unfair to stop your ex from meeting someone new. If you are standing in the first category though, depending on how things ended and who did the breaking up, you should be careful on how you approach. If you broke up with her, I'm afraid you're packing a little less ammo to go back with, and girls certainly don't enjoy playing the back-and-forth game. However, if your break-up was under more benign terms, or if she broke up with you, you can certainly put in one more effort and let her know your feelings. To ask Yenta your question, e-mail yenta@ thejevvishnews.com and look for your question here in this column! Whatever happens here you should respect her choice and act tactfully. The worst thing to do would be to call drunk at 2 a.m. or try and speak to her while she is out with the other guy! Q: I just broke off a seven-year relationship. How soon do you think it would be acceptable to start dating again without it being considered a rebound? A: Dear Long-Term Taken. To answer your question point blank, no matter how long you wait, those first few dates or hook-ups will always be rebounds. True, the term "rebound" has coined a negative connotation, but don't undermine its purpose. After a break-up, even though you won't be looking for something serious right off the bat, you need to begin to reintroduce yourself to the social scene around you. I don't think there is an appro- priate amount of time recommended to wait between breakups and starting to date again; every heart heals on their own time. But I would be cautious of jumping right back into something committed after such a long term relationship. Take some time for yourself, pick up some new hobbies and put the focus in your life back on you for a while. ° ("6' YOUNG ADULT At 80 s = jam B oweng Night THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 16. 2010 7.00 — 9:30PM G.. C:•: person ,011•WEST BO\ jarc.org EAT PRAY LOVE It wasn't a break-up per se, but after being completely rejected by what I thought was my perfect man, I did what any single, 20- something Detroit girl would do: I got in my car and drove to Chicago for a long weekend of wine (from a box), cheese (in the form of deep-dish pizza) and male bashing with my girlfriends. But before driving off into the sunset (actually, it was a monsoon), my sister stopped by and dropped off a copy of Eat Pray Love. "Read it," she urged. "Just not while you're driving." Lucky for her, or maybe for me, I got stuck in a massive traffic jam and had a whole 2 hours of sitting parked on 1-94 to crack open the book. Yes, two hours. Without moving. So I started reading and was instantly whisked away — from the flooding, from the traffic and from the pain of being rejected yet again. For the three of you (or any guys) who didn't read it, Eat Pray Love is the story of Elizabeth Gilbert, a woman unhappy in what should be a perfect marriage. Feeling stuck, Elizabeth leaves her perfect-on-paper life behind and takes off on a yearlong jour- ney. Through her travels — eating her way through Italy, meditation in India and open- ing herself up to love in Bali — Elizabeth gets over her heartbreak and finds out who Coming To Theatres August 13! How would you define yourself after a heartbreak, break- up or unexpected transition; "EAT," "LOVE" or "PRAY"? E-mail your answers with a brief description of why to detmovi- escreenings@gmail.com for a chance to win an EAT PRAY LOVE T-shirt and bracelet plus one admit-two advance screening pass to see the film! Please put DETROIT JEWISH NEWS as the subject line along with a phone number of where you can be contacted. she is in the process. And following her on this journey is all at once uplifting and inspiring (with a hint of mouthwatering). So much so that it took me 10 minutes and a lot of angry honking to realize that the cars around me had started moving on the highway. Most of us don't have the time or money to take off on a globe-trotting expedition when our hearts are broken (I could barely afford the tolls on the Skyway), but that doesn't mean that we can't learn a thing or Javier Bardem as "Felipe" and Julia two from Elizabeth's experience. It wasn't Roberts as "Elizabeth Gilbert" in Indonesia where she was that allowed her to trans- in Columbia Pictures' EAT PRAY LOVE. form; it was what she was doing and the order in which she did it. drop-ins at Yoga Shelter or even just keeping We don't need to be in some exotic loca- a personal journal (or blog) where we speak tion to allow ourselves a transformation; we honestly about ourselves and our feelings. It just need to let go (eat), focus our attention is at that point, once we're content with our inward (pray) and be open again when we're indulgences and at peace with ourselves, that finally ready (love). That could be as easy as a we can truly move on from that [insert trip to Sanders for a creme puff (or 12), inappropriate name for the ex here] who taking a little money out of savings and going broke our hearts. on a trip somewhere we've always wanted to And we can do it all without dealing with go or even just indulging in that new watch the long flights and heavy suitcases of a at Tapper's. Once we're feeling good, we can worldwide tour. begin looking inward; maybe that's a few D Town Dater - - In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region. If you would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or rlachover@thejewishnews.com . JOIN US ON FACEBOOK; search our group name and fan page "SE MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE" 24 August 5 • 2010