i s gaiTA R RII
EWISH
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A Great Place To Live. A Great Place To Be Jewish.
ALLIANCE'
SINGLES SCENE
{ _ events
& hot spots
Set-ups: A Single Person's BFF
"OUR SCHOOL"
Just don't let your mother play matchmaker.
Contrary to popular belief, the biggest
problem facing single people is not that
look on grandma's face when you explain
(again) that "No, I still haven't found my
rbeshert' (true love)." Rather, it is figur-
ing out where to find that person. Unlike
the days of high school and college, where
there were eligible bachelors and bachelor-
ettes around every corner, there are fewer
chances to meet people in the real world.
And after you come to terms with the fact
that you can't find true love at Woody's,
you open yourself up to any opportunity to
find it.
Including some that might surprise you,
like set-ups or, I don't know, getting your
mom involved?
My mom happens to be pretty relaxed
when it comes to my dating life; she knows
I'll find the right person when I'm ready
and she's more than willing to wait (which
probably has something to do with the fact
that she knows what my wedding is going
to cost her). Even so, whenever she meets
anyone who has a son between the ages
of 18 and 40, she's all over it like cream
cheese on a New York Bagel. I'll get the
call asking if she can give out my number
("Uh, morn, just tell him to look me up on
Facebook.") and then I'll get another call
5 minutes later telling me how handsome
and tall he is. "Honey, he's a doctor!!"
Being that I'm not meeting many poten-
The woman knows 85% of the
Southeast Detroit population, after
all; her odds of finding me a great
guy are better than mine alone.
tial bachelors anywhere else (I work alone
from my house and find grammatical errors
in JDate profiles to be major turn-offs),
I've begun to appease my mother and
play along. The woman knows 85% of the
Southeast Detroit population, after all; her
odds of finding me a great guy are bet-
ter than mine alone. The only problem is
that she's my mother, and with that comes
her need to know every. single. thing.
Happening in my life.
Did I call him back yet? Isn't he nice? I
should see how well his grandmother knits!
Are we going out? Where? When? Are we
going to have Simone Vitale at our wed-
ding?
I'm all about trying new things and get-
ting a little assistance in my dating life (I
don't know how much longer I can handle
my grandmother's look of disappointment
when she tells me "I'm not going to be
around forever"), but after the 11th text
message this week from my mother, I'm
beginning to realize that maybe I should
leave the matchmaking to Patti Stanger
and people who didn't change my diapers
as a child.
So I'm embracing the set-up full force:
friends, acquaintances, the random woman
I stood behind in line at Red Coat ... If
they've got someone to set me up with, I'm
all about it. I feel like it's my best chance:
it exposes me to people I wouldn't have
otherwise met, it doesn't require me to
do anything, and it's a pretty low pressure
situation. Sure, like most singles, I'd like to
think that I don't require the help of others
to find "the one," but sometimes you just
have to take a leap.
Think of how happy your grandma will be.
—
Thursday, May 5, 8:30 p.m.
Burton Theater, DetroR
Huntington Woods native filmmaker Oren
Goldenberg, 26, will be showing his film,
"Our School." The film is an exciting new
documentary exploring the realities at three
Detroit public high schools. "Our School"
seats you inside what has been deemed
"the nation's worst school district." For
additional screening dates and to purchase
tickets, www.burtontheatres.com or (313)
473-9238.
WINE STROLL
Saturday, May 15, noon-5 p.m.
Downtown Royal Oak
The Royal Oak Restaurant Association and
Downtown Development Authority team up
for the 6th Annual Wine Stroll. Proceeds
will benefit the Boys & Girls Club of South
Oakland and Stagecrafters. Enjoy wine and
food samples from over 15 participating
restaurants and retailers. Check-in and
day-of tickets will be on sale at registration
booths at 3rd & Main Street and at 5th &
Washington. For a complete list of restau-
rants and bars, and to purchase advance
tickets, visit www.downtownroyaloak.org .
D town Dater
-
— Great Date Idea
ASK YENTA
Need some
advice? Are
you looking
for solutions
for troubling
run-ins and
problems
dealing with
relationships,
family and friends?
Yenta's here with her
youthful perspective.
To ask Yenta your ques-
tion, e-mail yenta@
thejewishnews.corn and
look for your question
here in this column!
Q: I'm afraid to put a profile up on
JDate, Match, Frumster, eHarmony, etc.
How much or what kind of information
should I reveal online? Is this kind of
dating even safe?
A:
Dear Online Dating Newbie, it's true
that online dating can be a very scary world
— especially if you are not careful. But let's
be honest, dating can be risky in general, no
matter where you meet someone, so let's go
over some basic tips so you can be as safe as
possible when dating online.
1. Don't give out any personal details. It's
always tempting to reveal information
online, but until you have established trust
and boundaries, don't disclose your address,
phone number or where you work.
2. Find out everything you can about your
new friend. Inquire and ask as many
questions about their job, daily routine,
circle of friends, family, etc. Look for
inconsistencies — these are signs of trouble.
Use social media tools, see if you have
mutual friends.
3. Plan to meet in a public place in broad
daylight and use your own mode of transporta-
tion. When you decide it's time to meet,
make sure you have enough to talk about
face to face. By driving yourself, you won't
feel stuck if you don't like each other or are
uncomfortable. Always tell a friend where
you are going, and check in with them
afterwards. You may even consider going out
1Arith a group or on a double date!
4. Trust your instincts. If something
doesn't feel right at the beginning of the
date, it probably isn't- leave immediately.
Just because you match online, doesn't mean
you're meant to be.
Q: I'm 29, getting pretty desperate
to get married and I think that guys
are starting to pick up on it. How can
I contain my ticking biological clock
from putting off my new dates?
A: Dear Ticking Clock, I can understand
your desire to meet someone special and get
on with your life, and it may be hard to
suppress these feelings internally. You may
need to keep some of these childbearing
urges to yourself, your mother and your
therapist for a little while (especially on
your first few dates with your potential Mr.
Rights). First of all, never mention your
"biological clock" (ever!) until you have a
ring of the appropriate karat weight on your
finger. Something about that phrase makes
men want to run. Also, be careful about
being too rushed to introduce your suitor
to his potential machetunum (in-laws). For
now they will just have to check out his
Facebook profile to get to know him better
and who knows, you may be able to look up
the whole extended family on it. Lastly, as
childish as it may be, most men still love a
challenge. Make them earn your affection;
be a little mysterious and have fun!
Q: I feel like I have no time for dating
with my job, my workout routine and
my must-see TV. How do people find
time for this dating thing?
A: Dear Dateless Hermit, you need to
follow the same advice that I once had to
tell myself: re-structure and re-prioritize.
Don't get me wrong, your career, fitness and
personal down time are all important
elements to a maintaining a healthy mind-
body balance, but at the end of the day you
need to be social with your peers! If you
don't have it already, get yourself a TiVo or
DVR so you don't have to miss American
Idol or Glee (no more excuses to miss those
favorites!). Try to schedule in one or two
nights a week as your designated "date
night" or a casual evening with your friends.
The more you start to go out and be seen
on the social scene, guaranteed more dating
opportunities will come to you. For someone
who works so hard all week, make sure to
indulge and treat yourself to a little bit of
fun and a few nights off!
In our mission to redirect the narrative of Southeastern Michigan, we have spearheaded a campaign geared towards young Jewish adults in our region.
If you would like to submit any events, information or would like to be featured in our section, please contact Rachel Lachover at (248) 351-5156 or
rlachover@thejewishnews.com . JOIN US ON FACEBOOK; search our group name "SE MICHIGAN JEWISH ALLIANCE"