BUSINESS & PROFESSIONAL
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a f I p hoto by Ang l
It's Not Therapy
Aspiring grief counselor helps people
come together to also grieve for pets.
veryone loses a loved one at
some time in their lives. But
she says.
But when she wrote a research paper,
her findings showed that pet loss is one
of the forms of "disenfranchised grief."
Many times, even close friends and fam-
few take the steps that Micky
Golden Moore has to under-
ily can be dismissive.
"Sometimes, the purest love is from
Judith Doner Berner
Special to the Jewish News
E
stand their grief.
After the death of her parents, the
Metro Detroiter, who graduated from
West Bloomfield High School and
holds a Ph.D. in speech communica-
tion from Wayne State University in
Detroit, entered a master's program
in hospice and palliative studies at
Madonna University in Livonia.
The switch from a career of commu-
nications consulting and teaching was
partly a result of the care and comfort
she saw her dad, steel executive and
Jewish philanthropist Louis H. Golden,
receive from West Bloomfield-based
Jewish Hospice & Chaplaincy Network
(JHCN) when he died in 2003 from a
recurrence of cancer.
It was further driven by the depres-
an animal," Moore says. "Human rela-
tionships are fraught with complica-
tions."
She formed Beyond the Paw Print
LLC and put together a Web site: www.
beyondthepawprint.com . The name
is based on the clay paw print that
many veterinarians give clients as a
remembrance of their pet. Her bereave-
ment group meets 7-9 p.m. the second
Monday of each month at Orchard
United Methodist Church, 30450
Farmington Road in Farmington Hills.
"This is not a therapy group," Moore
says. "The goal is to acknowledge and
validate the unique nature of each loss."
The page-long Code of Conduct
includes asking participants to avoid
Micky Golden Moore: "Pet loss grief is not intended to be compared to the loss of a
giving advice or comparing their loss
purest love is from an animal. Human relationships are fraught with complications."
person. Many times, even close friends and family can be dismissive. Sometimes, the
sion that Moore suffered when her mom,
Sylvia Golden, a lifelong Hadassah
to that of another participant. No pets
are allowed. The first meeting in March
member, died three years later.
"She was my best friend. I knew
that I had to understand what this
was," Moore says. "I've always turned
drew a dozen participants. Ten people
Positive Response
since before they had children.
"It really feels good to be around
people who totally get it," she says.
to academia to find my answers."
Moore, a Farmington Hills resident,
graduated May 3 from what Madonna
Kiirsti Sharp, practice manager of
the Hilldale Veterinary Hospital in
Southfield, attended as an observer.
The support group is free. Moore's
Web site also promotes two related
businesses — a video pet tribute ser-
heralds as "the only university-based
hospice program of its kind in the
nation." She plans a career in grief
She saw that those who came "needed
Micky's support and the support of
each other. People were hugging each
vice and a training program on pet
loss for veterinary clinicians.
Dr. David Whitten, DVM, who heads
counseling.
"This program has changed my life,"
she says. "I feel very passionate about
other. They felt understood."
That was true for Mikki Stein of
the Hilldale clinic, says Moore con-
ducted a workshop for his staff and
developed a grief packet which they
the opportunity to help others journey
through their grief, loss and reconcili-
ation.
"Everyone's grief experience is unique
and depends on who died, the nature
came to the second meeting, she says.
Farmington Hills who says the sessions
have helped her come to terms with the
death of a dog "whose time was not up."
"People who aren't animal lovers just
don't want to listen," Stein says.
So when she saw a piece about the
support group in a local newspaper, "I
felt it was bashert [fate, destiny]."
support group at the death of the dog
that she and her husband had owned
hand out. "We thought we already
were doing a good job. She made us
even a little smarter."
As Stein shared her story with those
who attended, "It was the first time
as they work through the grieving pro-
cess. There is no magic dust."
that I felt anybody heard me. It was so
uplifting. I felt such a sense of relief."
guides the internship required for her
degree and was at her side at the initial
She'll continue to attend whenever
she can, Stein says. "It's important to
listen to other people the way they lis-
pet support group meetings.
Shifting Sands
Part way through her studies, Moore
was prompted by the death of her two
cats to begin a support group for oth-
ers who had lost pets.
"Pet loss grief is not intended to be
compared to the loss of a person,"
tened to you."
"It was very helpful," seconds Joely
Moss, a Farmington Hills mother of
two young children.
She went online to find Moore's
Palliative Care and Bereavement
Studies program. "It's relevant to end-
of-life care.
"It's not a loss that's always validat-
ed. To some people, pets are their chil-
dren. We have to meet people where
they are. Micky has taken this to the
program level."
When Moore began her degree,
Rhoades says, "She wanted to give
back to the hospice program. One of
the things I most admire about her is
that when she commits to something,
she goes far beyond. She wants to
learn everything.
"She has a lot of compassion and
understanding — and now she has the
On-Task Learning
Moore has earned the confidence of
two who are her teachers and mentors.
Paul Nguyen, Ph.D., of Karmanos
Cancer Institute Hospice in Southfield
of the relationship with the deceased
and how the individual died. I don't want
anyone that I help to feel isolation. You
walk alongside them. You bear witness
fessor and chair of Madonna's Hospice,
"As a facilitator, Micky is very help-
ful," Nguyer says. "People enjoy being
there because it's a safe place to deal
skills."
Moore won the Karmanos Cancer
Institute Crystal Award as Volunteer of
the Year in April 2006 for developing
a required workshop for volunteers in
the institute's speakers' bureau.
Her volunteer efforts, she says,
"acknowledge and honor my parents'
memory" and "their legacy of giving."
She credits husband Bud Moore,
bers don't understand."
"I'm an advocate for pet loss sup-
a financial executive at Ford
Motor Company, for "supporting
me through each and every single
endeavor. Without him, none of this
port," says Kelly Rhoades, Ph.D., pro-
would be possible." Li
with their grief when their family mem-
May 14 2009
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