Special Report
ON THE COVER
Guardian Angels from page A15
Susie and Christopher Tarnas and their
sons, Skyler and Dylan, stepped in to help
Rob cope. All four children felt at home in
both houses, so Evan and Emily slid natu-
rally into a routine of coming to the Tarnas
house after school to do homework, going
home to have dinner with Rob, then head-
ing back over to the Tarnases to hang with
Skyler and Dylan.
The arrangement worked well. Susie, a
physical therapist, uses her basement as her
office. Christopher is a handyman, often at
home when not on jobs. And Rob managed
his wood flooring business, cleverly called
Rob 'N' Wood. The four kids, all close in
age, had school and each other.
Then, tragedy struck this small family
again. After going with his father, Al, to
nearby Temple Israel to say Kaddish on
Nancy's yahrtzeit (Friday, March 6), Rob
went home and later began having chest
pains. Emily called to wake up Susie, tell-
ing her that Daddy couldn't breathe. Susie
came over immediately and called 911.
Christopher followed the ambulance to the
hospital while Susie stayed with Evan and
Emily. As he was wheeled out the door, Rob,
59, said, "Don't let me die, I have two chil-
dren:' He was having a massive heart attack.
And then they were two.
Because of Rob's incredible foresight,
Evan and Emily now live with the Tarnases,
within sight of the house they shared with
their parents, but inside a house they also
called home all their lives. A normalcy
exists that helps keep their lives from turn-
ing upside down.
In the new arrangement, adults Susie and
Christopher now are outnumbered. As the
four kids sit around the dining room table
talking about the transition, a natural chaos
builds. A question gets lost as the conversa-
tion pinballs around the table from child to
child.
Small arguments erupt and dissipate.
Emily, 11, emits her melodramatic "evil
laugh" at increasingly frequent intervals.
Skyler, 14, interjects bits of wisdom in a
professorial tone, while Dylan, 10, hides
a little behind his long hair and Evan, 13,
defends his favorite movie, the astronaut
epic Apollo 13, which the others find pretty
long and boring.
Two years ago, Rob asked Susie and
Christopher if they would become legal
guardians for Evan and Emily if anything
happened to him. His only stipulation:
Raise them Jewish. The Tarnases, who are
not Jewish, did not hesitate to say yes.
And now they are six.
But they have a community to help them
— financially and spiritually. With Temple
Israel as a catalyst, fundraising efforts are
being mounted (see box at end of story).
The Jewish Federation of Metropolitan
Detroit in Bloomfield Township has found
A16
April 9 • 2009
an angel donor to build an addition to the
Tarnas house to accommodate two more.
And Rob's musician friends are working on
a fundraising concert.
Rob's mom, Marti, promises to teach
Susie the Jewish traditions. Already Friday
night means lighting the silver candlesticks
given to them by Temple Israel. Challah
doesn't last long around these four kids.
Passover seders were set for the Farmington
Hills homes of Rob's parents home and
Nancy's sister Sandy Bernstein.
"It's very nice of the Tarnases to agree
to raise the kids Jewish," Sandy said. "My
sister [Arlene Reinheimer of Farmington
Hills] and I both try to see the kids on a
regular basis. With the new situation, we'll
incorporate the Tarnas kids, too. We look
forward to connecting with all of them."
In The Beginning
Nancy Fischer and Susie Tarnas met nearly
15 years ago. Susie was eight months preg-
nant with Skyler and out for a walk in the
neighborhood. Nancy, who had just moved
in, jumped out of her car and introduced
herself. "We're going to be great friends!"
Evan, Rob and Emily
Fischer at Evan's bar
mitzvah at Temple Israel
last November.
she said.
She was right.
"Evan came along a year and a half later,
and we were together all the time as the
kids were being raised," Susie said. "We'd be
on the phone several times a day. The deep
friendship started with Nancy and me.
"From the very beginning, we discussed
what the kids should call us because we
think of each other as family. We decided
on 'aunt' and 'uncle:"
Though they had different personalities
— Nancy was high energy and Susie is laid
back — the friendship worked. "We were
kindred spirits; we felt more like sisters
than friends," Susie said.
Because she is a physical therapist and
attuned to the human body, Susie helped
Rob discover a tumor in his spine. When
his back pain didn't ease, she pushed him
to get an MRI, which revealed the growth
could have paralyzed him within days with-
out surgery.
Susie also noticed the first symptom of
Nancy's cancer — a droopy eye. The tumor
was found near her throat and already had
spread.
"Her mom had died of cancer and Nancy
was afraid of dying young," Susie said. Susie
was there constantly while Nancy was sick,
doing everything from bathing her to help-
ing her drink soothing smoothies.
"Why was I there so much?" Susie
mused. "We just had a deeper connection
than normal:'
At one point, Nancy told Susie she liked
the way she was raising her children.
"Nancy was a great mom," Susie said. "I
thought it was kind of morbid, but when
I think back to conversations, I wonder if
there is such a thing as a plan. You feel it in
your heart. One day, I was sitting in a chair,
with nothing going through my head, and
I had a strong thought — 'Make sure you
take care of her It was like an angel saying
something to me:'
Susie, 46, and Christopher, 45, both come
from big families. They attended Catholic
schools, but don't go to church with their
boys. They do celebrate Christian holidays.
"We're deeply spiritual and believe in
God, but very open-minded;' Susie said.
"We always wanted to expose our kids to
other religions."
The pair exudes peacefulness. Their
home is organized and calm, warm and
homey. Their sons, Skyler, who attends
Walled Lake Central High School, and
Dylan (a classmate of Emily's at Pleasant
Lake Elementary in West Bloomfield), are
similar in temperament to their parents,
but with the normal sibling skirmishes.
When Nancy died, Evan and Emily want-
ed to be around them all and to be close to
Susie, who had been so close to their mom.
Rob drew closer, too. The "family com-
pound" — what the families called the two
homes — became more than just a phrase.
Thinking Of The Future
As a single father, Rob felt strongly about
ensuring the best possible transition for his
children if anything ever happened to him.
He wanted them to remain rooted in their
treasured neighborhood, their schools and
their synagogue — and with the family
next door who knew them so well.
Rob spoke first with Susie and
Christopher. His only request was to raise
his children as Jews.
"We said yes, but we never thought it
would happen',' Susie said. "We had no
questions — zero. Just 'Yep, let's do it' The
stress of change, trauma and emotions may
be hard, but it definitely feels right."
Then Rob spoke with his elderly parents
and his sister, who all gave their blessings.
"Susie is Emily's godmother," said Rob's
sister, Sherry Zeiger of Oak Park, who
maintains her "Aunt Sherry Nights" with the
kids every other week. "They spent 90 per-
cent of their time at Susie's or her kids were
at their house. It's a natural thing for them