Front Lines
NO
E3 00K
JNenline
Do You Measure Up?
D
aily, we are faced with innumerable books,
article and bits of advice on how to measure
success. We are concerned, sometimes overly so,
with how to measure progress. We even note our children's
growth by measuring their heights on the doorframe.
With today's advancing technology, perhaps you should
be aware of some "new" engineering conversions as found
on the Web:
• 2,000 mockingbirds: 2 kilomockingbird
• Speed of a tortoise breaking the sound barrier:
Mach Turtle
• 16.5 feet in the Twilight Zone: 1 Rod Sterling
• 1 million bicycles: 2 megacycles
• 500 millinaries: 1 seminary
• 1/2 lavatory: 1 demijohn
• 1 millionth of a fish: 1 microfiche
• 1 trillion pins: 1 terrapin
Sy Manello
• Ratio of an igloo's circumference to its diameter:
• 100 rations: 1 C-Ration
Editorial
Eskimo Pi
•
10 rations: 1 decoration
Assistant
• 2,000 pounds of Chinese soup: Won ton
• 1 million piccolos: 1 gigolo
• 1 millionth of a mouthwash: 1 microscope
• 10 millipedes: 1 centipede
• Time between slipping on a peel and smacking the pavement:
•3 dents: 1 trident
1 bananosecond
• 10 aides: 1 decade
• Time it takes to sail 220 yards at one nautical mile per hour:
• 1,009 female sheep: 1 milieu
Knot furlong
• 2 doctors: 1 paradox
• 365.255 days of drinking low-calorie beer: I lite year
• 100 tics: I hectic
• Half of a large intestine: I semicolon
• 100 senators: not one decision
• Shortest distance between two jokes: a straight line
• 1,000 aches: I kilohurtz
• Basic unit of laryngitis: 1 hoarse power
Other Measurement 'Humor' From Sy:
•453.6 graham crackers: 1 pound cake
• 1 million microphones: 1 megaphone
Question: How can you tell that it's been raining cats and dogs?
• 10 cards: 1 decacards
Answer: By the poodles in the road.
• 1 kilogram of falling figs: 1 fig newton
• 1,000 cubic centimeters of wet socks: 1 literhosen
Question: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a wood-
• 2 monograms: 1 diagram
chuck could chuck wood?
• 8 nickels: 2 paradimes
Answer: As much dew as the dew drops drop when the dew drops do
• Three statute miles of intravenous surgical tubing at
drop dew.
Yale University Hospital: 1 I.V. League
Singing For The Tigers
Most boys born in Detroit, at one time or another, dream of playing
for the Tigers. Eugene Zweig just wanted to sing the national anthem
before the game.
Last year, it came true. On June 27, it comes true again.
Zweig has been singing professionally and directing choirs in the
Detroit area since 1943. He has performed in the Michigan Opera
Theatre as a mainstage chorus member since 1991; he has also
appeared with the Detroit Symphony Orchestra. In addition, Zweig has
been a cantorial soloist at Temple Kol Ami in West Bloomfield, Temple
Beth El in Bloomfield Hills and Congregation Beth El in Windsor.
And for as long as he can remember, he has been a devout Tigers fan.
"Times were tough when I was a teenager, so I used to take the bus
down to Briggs Stadium for 25 cents and listen to the cheers from
outside the outfield wall:' he says. "After the seventh inning, they let
everyone in for free, so that's when I would get inside'
Last year, family friend Walt Frederiksen, senior
director of Little Caesars' advertising, made sure the
Tigers listened to a CD of Zweig's singing. Once they
heard it, the Tigers selected him to sing the anthem
for a July 20 game against the then-world champion
Chicago White Sox.
"It was surreal, being on the field and hearing
my name spoken:' he said. "But after that, I didn't
Eugene Zweig
even see that my image and name were on the giant
scoreboard. I just focused on the flag, and on sing-
ing with as much feeling for the words as I could."
He is excited about singing again this year.
"I won't ever get to hit a walk-off home run, that's for sure:' he said.
"But last year, they did win the game I sang in. I believe they're gonna
win every time I sing."
We Invite Woodward Memories
If you have notable memories of growing up or living or working along the Woodward corridor,
we want to hear from you!
As part of our July coverage of Woodward Avenue's 200th anniversary, we invite you to submit
recollections (of 200 words or less) for possible publication on the JN Web site: JNonline.us .
E-mail your items as an attached Word document to rsklar@jrm.biz by July 6.
Please adhere to the 200-word limit by editing your document carefully. Spell all personal
and business names correctly. Include your name, address and daytime phone number (your
name and city, only, will appear with your article). Digital, high-resolution jpeg images are wel-
come; include complete captions, with all names from left, who each person is, the location and
approximate date. Thanks so much!
This Week
www.JNOnline.us
JBlog
Arnie Goldman shares his
thoughts about the Iraq war,
little mitzvahs and more.
Jeff Klein offers his Metro
Perspectives on everything
from dating to friendship.
Only at JNonline.us . Just
click on JBlog on the menu
on the left.
Latest From Israel
Want the most current
news from Israel? Check
our streaming news from
Ynetnews.com for continu-
ous updates and longer news,
opinion and feature stories.
And look at the center of our
Homepage for an Israel story
that changes twice daily.
Just visit JNonline.us and
click on a scrolling story on
the left.
Celebrations!
Find weekly listings of births,
b'nai mitzvah, engagements,
weddings and anniversaries
online as well as past sim-
chahs all online. They are all
bundled under each week's
publication date.
Just visit JNonline.us and
click on Lifecycles on the left.
Results From
Last Week's Poll:
Should America and the West
take Iran's inciteful rhetoric
as an immediate threat?
Yes 81%
No 19%
This week's poll question:
With the Hamas/jihadist
takeover in Gaza, has Israel's
withdrawal policy been a total
failure?
Visit the JNonline.us
homepage to cast your vote.
— Robert A. Sklar, editor
June 21 . 2007
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