Manhood
A little simchah is forcing me
to grow up — eventually.
Bar/Bat Mitzvah
Planning Checklist
Now
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a year, much as we're renting
s I write this, my
an apartment for a year to get
thoughts turn to
a feel for East Cobb, Ga.,
the fall of 2007,
before deciding whether that's
when my firstborn son,
the place to buy a house.
Joshua, will become a bar
But the bar mitzvah calen-
mitzvah.
dar changes everything.
I don't remember how
We can't shul-hop next fall
early I got my bar mitzvah
with Josh's celebration only a
date in preparation for my
Michael Jacobs year off. It's not fair to any
own big day 23 years ago. It
Special to the
other b'nai mitzvah child
was a young synagogue,
Jewish News
whose big day we might
however, so I had my choice
intrude on, and it's a potential
of fall dates. Bereshit was too
nightmare for planning the obligatory
long a Haftorah, and Noah seemed like
monster bash that will undoubtedly top
a fun guy, so I wound up with Noach. I
our wedding in scope and cost.
also wound up with a rabbi who was
So once we affiliate with a synagogue,
new to (and not long for) our syna-
we're there through at least the 2007-08
gogue, but that's a bitter memory for
school year.
another time.
But that will put us within 30 months
In this day and age, or at least this
place, Josh isn't likely to have any choice of bar mitzvah No. 2, so we won't be
willing or able to jump to
another shul until after
Caleb has his simchah at
the end of 2010.
Our synagogue choice
today is, in effect, a com-
mitment through the
spring of 2011. By that
time, Josh will be a year
2011.
from high school gradu-
ation, so we won't be
budging at that point.
Assuming Jewish
Renaissance Media lets us stay around,
about his portion. About nine months
that means the synagogue pick we're
ago, our shul in North Carolina,
making for Josh's bar mitzvah in two
Raleigh's Beth Meyer Synagogue,
years is also a choice to stay in the
assigned him Chaye Sarah for
November 2007. He was excited enough Atlanta area for the next seven years,
longer than I've managed to stay in any
to nail the Hebrew reading of the
of my previous four newspaper jobs.
Haftorah within a few weeks.
And we still don't know where we
Moving to Atlanta has thrown the
whole bar mitzvah schedule into the air. want to settle down and buy a house.
The bottom line is that Josh's bar
Things are planned so far in advance
these days that Josh will be lucky to find mitzvah represents more than his
entrance into Jewish adulthood. It rep-
a place in the calendar at all, let alone
resents the final, inescapable moment
with Chaye Sarah. Wherever we wind
when I have to be a real, stable grown-
up as members, it's hard to imagine
up.
Josh having a date to himself.
Maybe that's why the idea of a bar
The looming bar mitzvah, in fact, is
mitzvah trip, maybe to Maui, sounds so
both the primary impetus to hurry up
and choose a synagogue and the biggest appealing. ❑
obstacle to making what, after all, isn't
Michael Jacobs, the managing editor of our
necessarily a lifelong commitment, like
sister paper, the Atlanta Jewish Times, can
marriage or the French Foreign Legion.
Usually, we would join a shul, see how be reached at mjacobs@atljewishtimes.com .
we like it and re-evaluate our choice in
A
Picking a synagogue today
will keep us in place through
the spring of
40
CELEBRATE • 2006
JN
Secure party location
Check security arrangements
Select entertainment (disc jockey or band)
Select photographer
Select videographer
11 Months Before
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Review accomodations for out-of-town guests
Create list of out-of-towners
Request a block of rooms from hotel of choice
Interview caterers
10 Months Before
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Determine Shabbat dinner and Sunday brunch plans
Create a guest list with complete addresses
Eight Months Before
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Send a "save the date" card to out-of-town guests
Begin looking at invitations
Seven Months Before
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Decide on invitation wording
Order invitations
Six Months Before
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Order kippot. Check out 1-888-KIPPAHS, your synagogue's gift shop or a number of
online resources, including the Store at Jewish.com .
Plan menu
Finalize decorations
Three Months Before
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Weigh invitation at post office to determine postage and purchase stamps
Begin calligraphy or computer printing of invitation envelopes
Order imprinted accessories or party giveaways
Plan for guest welcome bags for out-of-town guests
Mail out-of-town invitations
Two Months Before
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Mail in-town invitations
Finalize catering details and floor plan
Three Weeks Before
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Conduct final clothing fittings
Assign tables
Finalize seating arrangements
Weekend Before
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Provide photographer with list of special requests
Monday Before
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Create seating cards
Thursday Before
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Deliver welcome bags to hotel