Manhood A little simchah is forcing me to grow up — eventually. Bar/Bat Mitzvah Planning Checklist Now ❑ a year, much as we're renting s I write this, my an apartment for a year to get thoughts turn to a feel for East Cobb, Ga., the fall of 2007, before deciding whether that's when my firstborn son, the place to buy a house. Joshua, will become a bar But the bar mitzvah calen- mitzvah. dar changes everything. I don't remember how We can't shul-hop next fall early I got my bar mitzvah with Josh's celebration only a date in preparation for my Michael Jacobs year off. It's not fair to any own big day 23 years ago. It Special to the other b'nai mitzvah child was a young synagogue, Jewish News whose big day we might however, so I had my choice intrude on, and it's a potential of fall dates. Bereshit was too nightmare for planning the obligatory long a Haftorah, and Noah seemed like monster bash that will undoubtedly top a fun guy, so I wound up with Noach. I our wedding in scope and cost. also wound up with a rabbi who was So once we affiliate with a synagogue, new to (and not long for) our syna- we're there through at least the 2007-08 gogue, but that's a bitter memory for school year. another time. But that will put us within 30 months In this day and age, or at least this place, Josh isn't likely to have any choice of bar mitzvah No. 2, so we won't be willing or able to jump to another shul until after Caleb has his simchah at the end of 2010. Our synagogue choice today is, in effect, a com- mitment through the spring of 2011. By that time, Josh will be a year 2011. from high school gradu- ation, so we won't be budging at that point. Assuming Jewish Renaissance Media lets us stay around, about his portion. About nine months that means the synagogue pick we're ago, our shul in North Carolina, making for Josh's bar mitzvah in two Raleigh's Beth Meyer Synagogue, years is also a choice to stay in the assigned him Chaye Sarah for November 2007. He was excited enough Atlanta area for the next seven years, longer than I've managed to stay in any to nail the Hebrew reading of the of my previous four newspaper jobs. Haftorah within a few weeks. And we still don't know where we Moving to Atlanta has thrown the whole bar mitzvah schedule into the air. want to settle down and buy a house. The bottom line is that Josh's bar Things are planned so far in advance these days that Josh will be lucky to find mitzvah represents more than his entrance into Jewish adulthood. It rep- a place in the calendar at all, let alone resents the final, inescapable moment with Chaye Sarah. Wherever we wind when I have to be a real, stable grown- up as members, it's hard to imagine up. Josh having a date to himself. Maybe that's why the idea of a bar The looming bar mitzvah, in fact, is mitzvah trip, maybe to Maui, sounds so both the primary impetus to hurry up and choose a synagogue and the biggest appealing. ❑ obstacle to making what, after all, isn't Michael Jacobs, the managing editor of our necessarily a lifelong commitment, like sister paper, the Atlanta Jewish Times, can marriage or the French Foreign Legion. Usually, we would join a shul, see how be reached at mjacobs@atljewishtimes.com . we like it and re-evaluate our choice in A Picking a synagogue today will keep us in place through the spring of 40 CELEBRATE • 2006 JN Secure party location Check security arrangements Select entertainment (disc jockey or band) Select photographer Select videographer 11 Months Before ❑ Review accomodations for out-of-town guests Create list of out-of-towners Request a block of rooms from hotel of choice Interview caterers 10 Months Before ❑ ❑ Determine Shabbat dinner and Sunday brunch plans Create a guest list with complete addresses Eight Months Before ❑ ❑ Send a "save the date" card to out-of-town guests Begin looking at invitations Seven Months Before ❑ ❑ Decide on invitation wording Order invitations Six Months Before ❑ ❑ ❑ Order kippot. Check out 1-888-KIPPAHS, your synagogue's gift shop or a number of online resources, including the Store at Jewish.com . Plan menu Finalize decorations Three Months Before ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ ❑ Weigh invitation at post office to determine postage and purchase stamps Begin calligraphy or computer printing of invitation envelopes Order imprinted accessories or party giveaways Plan for guest welcome bags for out-of-town guests Mail out-of-town invitations Two Months Before ❑ ❑ Mail in-town invitations Finalize catering details and floor plan Three Weeks Before ❑ ❑ ❑ Conduct final clothing fittings Assign tables Finalize seating arrangements Weekend Before ❑ Provide photographer with list of special requests Monday Before ❑ Create seating cards Thursday Before ❑ Deliver welcome bags to hotel