INTERFAITH
raninq restaurant
Double Dilemma
family to go home, our
Ann Arbor
daughters give each of their
Christian cousins a small
ost people have
gift. This goes back to the
heard of the
birthday
party analogy again
December
—
only
this
time the loot
Dilemma for interfaith
bag
has
snowflakes
printed
couples. How do we cele-
on
it
and
not
Sponge
Bob.
brate Christmas and
When
Christmas
Day
Chanukah? This year, the
arrives, we spend it at my
first night of Chanukah
Jim K een
parents' home. This is the
falls on Christmas Day.
Colum mist
point when our girls help
Great, that's all we need —
their Christian grandparents,
blur the lines a little more. When my
wife and I first looked at the calendar cousins, aunts, uncles and me with
back in November and found the two my holiday. The cousins open their
sleigh-full of presents, and'our girls
dates coinciding, we had to readjust
receive one or two very small gifts for
our holiday game plan.
helping out. This year, we'll do the
when Christmas
I liked it
same thing. However, when we go
and Chanukah were a week or two
home that night, my wife and daugh-
apart. At least we could keep their
ters will light the first candle. I'll be
observances more separate. The
right there with them, singing "Maoz
younger the children are, the more
Tzur" and telling the story of
important that is.
Chanukah.
Many years ago, my wife and I
My wife and I really do make it a
came up with a blueprint: Because
point to teach our girls that we cele-
our daughters and she are Jewish, we
brate these holidays for greater rea-
decided that they would celebrate
sons than gift giving. Their religious
Chanukah, and only Chanukah. I
school educators at the synagogue
would help them celebrate theirholi-
day. When Christmas came along, my reinforce this message through spe-
cial tzedakah projects, such as a holi-
wife and daughters would help me
day gift collection for Safe House.
celebrate my Christian holiday. Our
daughters firmly understand that this Our daughters also know the history
of Judah Macabbee and the miracle
is Dad's holiday. On Christmas, they
of the oil that burned for eight days.
only assist me, much like they would
They've also learned that Chanukah
help a friend celebrate her birthday
has an important lesson about reli-
Because we've been thrown a
gious freedom.
curveball this holiday season, 2005
While our family may cross the
may be a little more difficult. In past
borders of Christianity and Judaism a
years, we adorned our home with
little more than usual this December,
Chanukah decorations at the begin-
I'm confident that, overall, we'll be
ning of December. Once Chanukah
was over, my Christmas tree would go okay. Our daughters know that they
up in a different section of the house. are Jewish. They know which holiday
belongs to whom. We've spent the
This years we're likely to put up
other 364 days of the year raising our
both decorations on the same week-
children as Jews.
end. Keeping my tree in a different
They can handle it — even if
room is one small way we can
Santa's trip down my parents' chim-
emphasize that these are two distinct
ney `twas the night before
holidays celebrated by different peo-
Chanukah. ❑
ple in our house. Whatever it takes,
we are not going to mix and match.
Another issue concerns our annual Jim Keen is author of the book "Inside
Intermarriage: A Christian Partner's
Chanukah party. In past years, we've
Perspective on Raising a Jewish Family"
held it in our home a week or two
(URJ Press, forthcoming) and a contribu-
before Christmas. This year, it will be
tor to the book "The Guide to the Jewish
three days after. At the party, the
Interfaith Family Life: An
Christian grandparents give our
InterfaithFamily.com Handbook" (Jewish
daughters their big Chanukah gifts.
Lights publishing). He is a columnist for
At the end of the party, when we're
InterfaithFamily.com . His e-mail address is
full from latkes, and it's time for my
jckeen@umich.edu.
M
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December 22 • 2005
23