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26

Reform movement to. offer
strict guidelines for youth.

. '342210

eform Judaism must
attack the problem of
teenagers having sex, par-
ticularly casual "hooking up," the
leader of American Judaism's
largest movement declared here
Nov. 19.
Rabbi Eric Yoffie said American
youths are entering puberty earli-
er, being exposed to more sexual
imagery through the Internet and
other media and increasingly are
experimenting with sex as early as
middle school.
Those trends are as true for
Reform Jews as for society in gen-
eral, said the president of the 1.5-
million-member Union for
Reform Judaism. He said the prob-
lems show up on trips to Israel
and at summer camps, where the
staffs do a good job of policing the
teens but not a good job of advis-
ing them on sexual issues.
"That our kids need our guid-
ance is indisputable, and they are
puzzled by our failure to offer it','
Rabbi Yoffie said. He cited the
example of an unnamed teenager
who expressed frustration at the
lack of help from Judaism, which
guides most aspects of life, when it
comes to assessing her relation-
ship with her boyfriend.
"The Torah has all these confus-
ing teachings',' Rabbi Yoffie quoted
the girl. "Which parts really apply
to life today?"
He said the liberal, open-mind-
ed nature of the Reform move-
ment works against it when it
comes to addressing destructive
teen behavior. "We are not very
good at saying no in Reform
Judaism. We are the most creative
and forward-looking movement in
Jewish life, but in the realm of per-
sonal behavior, we are reluctant to
ever use the word 'forbidden."
Rabbi Yoffie changed that in his
Shabbat sermon to some 4,000
people during the URJ's biennial
convention: He said no to teen sex,
and he said no to sex at any age

R

when the physical is divorced from
the emotional and spiritual.
He said it makes no sense to
oppose sexual relations outside
marriage between adults —
whether of opposite sexes or the
same sex — as long as each part-
ner is sensitive to the needs of the
other in a loving relationship.
"On the other hand, we say in
the clearest possible way that high
school students should not be hav-
ing sexual relations': Rabbi Yoffie
said. "Our teens are not adults.
They are beset by tension with
parents, pressure from friends, a
desire for approval and an uncer-
tain sense of self. This means that
students in high school are not yet
ready for the loving, mutual rela-
tionships that make sex an experi-
ence of holiness."
To convey the necessary mes-
sage about sex without generalities
or platitudes, the URJ is unveiling
a six-part course for b'nai mitzvah
students, and it will present a fol-
low-up course for rising high
school freshmen in February 2007.
Rabbi Yoffie said in an interview
that he has traveled to Reform
camps and schools the past two
years and learned what teens want
and need from the movement
regarding sex. Counselors, teach-
ers, youth leaders and experts in
adolescence contributed to the
courses.
The courses emphasize that
girls should not judge their own
worth based on how they please
boys.
"Since we are creatures of God,
and holiness is attained through
loving relationships, sex for its
own sake leads to exploitation and
hurt;' Rabbi Yoffie said.
Atlantan Andy Shoenig of
Temple Emanu-El, president of the
North American Federation of
Temple Youth, said the courses
have been in the works a long time
because they are needed.
Teens "want to learn," Shoenig
said after the speech. "Now the
synagogue can be that place for
learning."

❑

November 24 2005