tion to Judaism through friends and the
celebrate and how to raise the children.
is herself not intermarried, she has
man she ultimately married. The author
"This
book
is
more
than
a
collection
friends and relatives who are.
moves on to describe her alternating
of stories of Jewish-Christian intermar-
After they shared with her their desire
observances of Christian and Jewish tra-
riages," wrote talk-show host Phil
to hear firsthand accounts of what inter-
ditions, self-inquiry about possible con-
Donahue, in the book's foreword. "It is
married couples have encountered, she
version
and the Yom Kippur service that
an astonishingly honest look inside the
searched for information, discovering
led
to
her
final decision.
hearts and minds of married people of
books that were either surveys of the
Later
sections
of Shires' text explore
different
faiths."
issue or were representative of only the
larger issues of feminism within Judaism,
Kaplan sees Interfaith Families as a
Jewish or the Christian point of view.
body and soul relationships, moral atti-
valuable tool for clergy and therapists
So Kaplan interviewed , intermarried
tudes with regard to treatment of others
counseling couples with intermarriage
men and women of both religious back-
and confrontation of the Holocaust,
grounds — and in various stages in their issues.
which her husband survived.
Both Christians and Jews are given a
marriages — looking at choices they
"There was a point where I believed in
chance to talk freely about how they
made and how they felt about those
Christ
as a personal savior, but there was
have
been
handling
the
many
aspects
of
choices as their marriages progressed.
a
counter
pull resistant to worshiping
intermarriage,
and
how
they
feel
about
This seemed to me the best way to
people or things," Shires explains about
make readers aware of both the possibili- the choices they have made.
the changes in her thinking that allowed
Although Kaplan doesn't see most of
ties and the pitfalls that existed and to
her to convert. "There was a long period
those interviewed as regretting their
give them insight and support as they
during which I didn't observe anything,
choice to marry someone of a different
struggled with this issue on their own,"
and Christ faded into the background."
faith, she admitted, "I do think it has
she said.
Shires, whose professional specialty is
been
harder
for
a
lot
of
people
than
they
The book includes stories that range
19th-century
British literature, took on
thought
it
would
be.
from a Jewish-Catholic couple who
her most recent writing project after
became Unitarian, to a Catholic man
works that were more academic. She
who secretly baptized his children
wrote Telling Stories with Steven Cohan
against his wife's wishes, to a family
g
to analyze narrative fiction, and she con-
whose daughter was raised Christian and
tributed an introduction for a recent
sons Jewish.
Mayflower
descendant
writes
release of Far From the Madding Crowd
But the stories are not meant to elicit
by Thomas Hardy.
gasps as much as to share what readers
about her conversion to Judaism.
As Coming Home explores Shires'
may also be experiencing and to learn
understanding of the Jewish religion and
how other couples may be handling the
SUZANNE CHESSLER
issues currently facing the Jewish com-
issues.
munity, there are references to the Bible,
The book's stories are told as related to Special to the Jewish News
midrash and philosophy
the author, with no judgment or com-
ne book, more
Couples share trials, tribulations
through the ages. The
mentary placed on the couples or their
than any other,
text, a project that last-
decisions.
and successes of intermarriage.
helped Linda
ed almost two years,
"I wanted to do a book that would be
Shires understand reli-
also details the exercises
both personal and unbiased," Kaplan
gious conversion. That
SHELLI LIEBMAN DORFMAN
required for her reli-
said.
book is her own.
Staff Writer
gious change.
Couples interviewed
LINDA M. SHIRES
Shires, author of
The author, present-
included those who kept
Coming Home: A
ooking to create
A Waman's Stag of Conversion to Judaism
ing
a Conservative
elements of both reli-
Woman's Story of
a source for cou-
point
of view, had sec-
gions, others who creat-
Conversion to Judaism
ples of Jewish-
ond
thoughts
about
ed alternatives and corn-
estview Press; $25),
Christian intermarriage
interspersing family sto-
promises, and some who
found that writing about
to turn to for advice, to
ries, but she ultimately
chose conversion, with
both her personal experi-
share experiences and
decided to tell about
all but one having con-
ences and contemporary
even commiserate, Jane
marrying a divorced
verted to Judaism. Most
ethnic issues let her
Kaplan produced a
man with three children
who were interviewed
directly address the fini-
compilation of 51 per-
and keeping the chil-
decided on a Jewish ori-
als, customs and view-
sonal stories by those
For
almost
20
years
she
passed
dren and their families
entation for their fami-
points associated with her as a Jewish wife, when she
who are living through
involved with holiday
lies.
newfound spiritmlity.
it.
wanted she thought of herself observances she
For those contemplat-
"Working on this book as a Christian.
Kaplan shares the
planned. The book also
ing intermarriage,
helped me evolve as a
accounts in her first
explains why she agreed
Kaplan hopes the book
Jew," says Shires, 53, a
book, Interfaith Families:
to
raise her own son as
will help answer the
professor of English and textual studies
Personal Stories ofJewish-
a
Jew
before
becoming
one herself
question, "What will my at Syracuse University, where she has
Christian Intermarriage
Children, extended family and life be like if I make that
"I write about issues with which I
come to teach Judaic courses. "I wanted
(Praeger Publishers;
communities can all contribute choice?"
e," says Shires, who
continue to stri
to explain my decision to convert to my
$39.95).
to the strain a marriage might
values the mikvah as the most important
She reminds readers
birth family and speak to people think-
While Kaplan, an
feel when religion is an issue.
ritual for her and has included family
the choice will affect
ing of converting."
award-winning journal-
members in the tradition. "I think
decisions ranging from
Shires, raised as a Protestant, begins
ist and Emmy-winning
debate keeps us in touch with God." E
what type of wedding ceremony the
her text by telling about her introduc-
television producer from Evanston,
couple will have to which holidays to
MIKED MARRIAGE on page 55

be very beautiful and very sustaining as
an individual, as a mother and grand-
mother. Judaism has been the rock of
my life. We live in a culture where peo-
ple worry about saving the whales. I
think we should all be concerned with
saving this beautiful and rich culture,
not as a fossil but as a rich heritage."
About her own religious life, she
explains that she grew up in a religiously
observant household in Sheboygan, Wis.
She has always been observant and
describes herself as Modern Orthodox.
"I am fascinated and engaged by
Jewish texts — all kinds of historical
texts, ranging from biblical through rab-
binical to modern Jewish literature. I'm
also fascinated by Jewish people and am
very fortunate to be involved with a pro-
fession that allows me to look at material
that I find especially fascinating and
engaging in a systematic and scholarly
way.
She is now working on two new
research projects and isn't thinking yet
about books. One study focuses on teen
Jewish education, funded by the
AviChai Foundation, and the other is on
conversionary households, sponsored by
the American Jewish Committee.

aming Home '

Interfaith Families'

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HOME

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2004

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