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May 30, 2003 - Image 67

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2003-05-30

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

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(with a female photographer) for
her husband.
His exercises in his chapter on
"Experiencing Sin" include mak-
ing love in public places.
As he notes, according to
Judaism "anything goes" except
"having sex during the menstrual
period, having sex in a way that
compromises intimacy (such as a
menage a trios or watching
pornography), and thinking
about another person while mak-
ing love to one's spouse."
Although Jewish religious
sources traditionally have viewed
anal and oral sex as "unnatural,"
Boteach writes, talmudic sources
permit such acts "if the purpose
is to create passion and bring
husband and wife closer togeth-
er."
So, what are we to make of
this? I'll assume that as an
ordained Orthodox rabbi, Boteach is
not giving advice contrary to
Halachah. There's no doubt that sex
is an important element of marriage
and that lack of satisfaction is a
major cause of family disintegration.
Nor do I find the substance of the
rabbi's advice troubling.
But I am somewhat uneasy that
he, as a rabbi, is so explicit.
Boteach has an answer for critics
like me. In the last chapter, he tells
of the sage Rav Kahana who hid
under his rabbi's bed to observe him

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having sex with his wife. When he
was discovered, Kahana explained his
behavior by saying, "This is a matter
of Torah and I must study."
Exactly, concurs Boteach; learning
to love one's wife is a holy matter.
He continues: "Books of this nature
are not only important, they possess
holiness. In fact, any advice that
leads to husbands and wives falling
deeply in love with each other serves
a divine purpose."
— Aaron Liebel,
Washington Jewish Week

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5/30

2003

67

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