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September 13, 2002 - Image 132

Resource type:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2002-09-13

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• ...II...-.



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non-cyberspace parties, but mostly
for its top three markets: New York,
Los Angeles and Miami). JDate's
Laguna says the site may begin offer-
ing parties in Detroit at the end of
next year.
How likely is one to misrepresent
himself online? Dr. Wolin speaks of
the 5/25 phenomenon — a person
using a photo that is 5 years old and
having gained 25 pounds since the
picture. Lucy agrees. Once she was
confused why a man she was plan-
ning to meet told her that he was 5
feet 10 inches tall and 185 pounds.
When he showed up, it was plain
that he was 5 feet 8 and pushing 230
According to Communications
Professor Joseph Walther of Cornell
University in Ithaca, N.Y., who stud-
ies online relationships, people mis-
representing themselves over the
Internet is a real concern. However,
people are dishonest in face-to-face
settings as well, on issues such as
marital status, income level and rela-
tionship potential, Walther said.
"The Internet didn't invent dis-
honesty or heartbreak," explained
Walther. "It may facilitate it, but it
sure goes on with or without tech-
For Sheri, Internet dating is just
one more step on the path to meet-
ing men, in addition to hobbies or
community service. Lucy agrees. "I
have nothing to lose by taking an
hour out of my life to meet someone
for a drink," she said. ❑

Continuing Search

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or on date 1,000," Lucy said.
Part of the appeal is the conven-
ience. "Everybody works and has
hectic schedules," she said.
A shy person, Lucy also finds it
easier to approach men with her
computer. "I'm not going to walk up
to a guy at a bar and start talking to
him. Online, I have no problem."
In general, her experience has been
positive, she says. Eighty percent of
the men she meets are nice, but
there is no love connection. Then
there are the occasional negative
events that can turn you off to the
whole thing, she explains. One date
didn't offer to pay for her $2 hot
chocolate. Another time, when she
was five minutes late, the man she
was meeting had already ordered
without her.
One feature of JDate is that you
may specify your relationship prefer-
ence: a date, a long-term relationship
or marriage and children. "If some-
one's looking just to date, I don't
bother because I already know we're
at different places in our lives," Lucy
Lucy keeps e-mail to a minimum
before meeting in person to avoid
knowing too much about the person
and lacking conversation topics on
the date. If there's a general interest,
she quickly schedules a coffee. One
of her friends kept up a great e-mail
exchange for a month with a man,
but when they finally met in person,
they did not hit it off.

Has JDate been successful for Lucy?
Well, not if marriage is the goal, but
Lucy remains hopeful. "I keep at it
because I hope that Mr. Wonderful
is out there. If that means going
through another two years of blind-
dating-hell to meet him, that's fine.
I'm not going to settle," Lucy said.
Forty-seven-year-old Sheri of West
Bloomfield turned to JDate to meet
local men when she found she wasn't
exposed to many in her everyday
life. Also, singles events in Detroit
were not geared toward baby
"I'm trying to be open and take
more risks to meet Jewish men,"
Sheri said, admitting that she loves
country music and is seeking a
"Jewish cowboy." She's had many
responses since posting her profile
two years ago, but so far no long-
term relationships have ensued.
Sheri would love for JDate to hold
a party in Detroit (JDate does hold


For college age through 30-
something. This calendar is
published the second and
fourth Fridays of the month.

Sept. 26 Thursday, 8 p.m.
Jewish Federation of
Metropolitan Detroit Young
Adult Division Sukkah Bar
Night at Congregation Shaarey
Zedek Southfield. TV and clas-
sic sports, free appetizers. No
charge. Drinks available. For
information, call Alaine
Waldshan, (248) 203-1486.

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