Marketplace
Ask Wendy
Don't Let
Religious Differences Fester
Dear Wendy:
I'm married to a wonderful man and
we have a great marriage. I'm Jewish and
he's an atheist from a non-Jewish family.
I agreed when we married that religion
would not be part of our lives. But I
have since become a bawl teshuvah: I
daven, cover my head, dress modestly
and observe the holidays. My approach
has been to observe those mitzvot that
do not have a direct impact on my hus-
band's life. He's tolerant of my religious
activities, but is hostile to religion in
general and has no interest in conver-
sion. I would like to become more
involved with Judaism, but I don't want
to impose on him any more than I
already have. Can I continue to become
more observant or should I count my
blessings?
— At A Crossroads
Ocher than marital vows, no agree-
ments made between a husband and wife
should be considered binding. (And that
fiudiggisit Wettd6
Opeu Suatlouj 1-4 ILK.
10034 Mum
Spacious 4 bedroom
home, 2-car attached
garage, updated kitchen,
hardwood floors through-
out. Center of the Woods
large lot with great patio.
$269,000.
248-545-1989
includes pre-nuptial agree-
world of marriage.
ments, in case you don't read
the gossip columns.) This is
Dear Wendy:
especially true of agreements
My father passed away a
made before, or right at the
year ago. He promised me a
start of a marriage. Our needs,
ring but every time I ask my
desires, beliefs and lifestyles are
mother for it, she has a new
all subject to change, and if
excuse about why I shouldn't
people did not change, what a
get it: It's a man's ring, it won't
bore life would be.
fit your finger; you have other
WENDY
As for the balance among
sisters who would resent your
BELZBERG
your man, your marriage and
getting it. My mother says that
your religious beliefs, you and
Special to
she never heard my dad
your husband are going to have
the Jewish News promise it to me — even
to work this out on your own.
though he did so in front of
Your hair covering and dress will have
her. I think my mother harbors bad feel-
tipped your husband off to your changes in
ings toward me, is resentful of the close
lifestyle. He is apparently still hanging on.
relationship I had with my father and is
Even if I offered advice, the decisions
trying to hurt me.
and compromises you make in the
— Ring is the issue
moment won't last. Agree on an approach
It is also possible that the ring has sen-
that works for both of you today, and
timental value to your mother, every bit
when that no longer works, start negoti-
as much as it does to you. Perhaps she is
ating all over again. Welcome to the real
not ready to part with the ring but does
NEW BUILD
IN 1999
COMMERCE TOWNSHIP CONTEMPORARY
Beautiful 2-story home,
West Bloomfield schools,
3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths,
hardwood floors, large
lot, sprinkler system,
access to 2 lakes!
Only $249,900.
6,500 sq. ft., first-floor master bedroom suite,
3 bedrooms lower level walk-out, loaded with
amenities. Spectacular views.
All-Sports Lower Straits Lake
By Owner $1,500,000
248-360-6680
Call 248-363-4782
FARMINGTON
HILLS
MOVE-IN CONDITION
Four bedroom, 2.5 bath colonial
in north Farmington Hills. Many
updates. Priced at $284,900.
Oniu
Call DAN! PET
TOWN & COUNTRY
248-901-0245
Classic architecture, brick driveways, walks and porches.
Incredible standard features include: granite countertops,
oak flooring, two fireplaces with marble surrounds, premium appliances.
two-person Jacuzzi and more!
BLOOMFIELD
HILLS
248.879-7710
askwendy@thejewishnews.com
Gracious first-floor master and two-story plans from 3.150 sq. ft.
248-553-2311
114*
Lexington Ave..#189, New York,
NY 10021, or e-mail
Enchanting wooded setting overlooking a meandering stream.
OPEN
SAT., SUN., MON 10-5 p.m.
$339,000
5/25
2001
Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954
An Intimate And Elegant Enclave Of
Detached Condominium Homes In West Bloomfield.
,
Gorgeous lot backs to
wooded commons with
stream. Custom, 4 bedrooms.
Chestnut Run North
347 Sycamore Ct.
Lot for Sale
$500,000
Taxes $2,000
Existing home major
reconstruction; partial
teardown or full.
not know how to tell you; perhaps she is
not ready to let your father go and this is
one way she continues to hold on. It does
sound to me as if your mother is with-
holding something from you that you
desperately want.
You and your mother have more to
work out than the matter of your father's
ring. Many mother-daughter relationships
are less than ideal, but if you truly believe
that your mother would intentionally try
to hurt you, it is time either to get a pro-
fessional involved to help the two of you
work out your problems. Or to walk away.
Better to leave the ring on the table but to
have your peace of mind. 0
FROM THE
S5 c
Presented
Davertg
WOODS
www.hermanfrankel.com
S
by
Beautihilly deL)rated model open daily noon to 6 p.m. :Closed Thurs..
Farmington Rd. between Maple Rd. and 14 Mile Rd. 245-8L i-3500