Marketplace Ask Wendy Don't Let Religious Differences Fester Dear Wendy: I'm married to a wonderful man and we have a great marriage. I'm Jewish and he's an atheist from a non-Jewish family. I agreed when we married that religion would not be part of our lives. But I have since become a bawl teshuvah: I daven, cover my head, dress modestly and observe the holidays. My approach has been to observe those mitzvot that do not have a direct impact on my hus- band's life. He's tolerant of my religious activities, but is hostile to religion in general and has no interest in conver- sion. I would like to become more involved with Judaism, but I don't want to impose on him any more than I already have. Can I continue to become more observant or should I count my blessings? — At A Crossroads Ocher than marital vows, no agree- ments made between a husband and wife should be considered binding. (And that fiudiggisit Wettd6 Opeu Suatlouj 1-4 ILK. 10034 Mum Spacious 4 bedroom home, 2-car attached garage, updated kitchen, hardwood floors through- out. Center of the Woods large lot with great patio. $269,000. 248-545-1989 includes pre-nuptial agree- world of marriage. ments, in case you don't read the gossip columns.) This is Dear Wendy: especially true of agreements My father passed away a made before, or right at the year ago. He promised me a start of a marriage. Our needs, ring but every time I ask my desires, beliefs and lifestyles are mother for it, she has a new all subject to change, and if excuse about why I shouldn't people did not change, what a get it: It's a man's ring, it won't bore life would be. fit your finger; you have other WENDY As for the balance among sisters who would resent your BELZBERG your man, your marriage and getting it. My mother says that your religious beliefs, you and Special to she never heard my dad your husband are going to have the Jewish News promise it to me — even to work this out on your own. though he did so in front of Your hair covering and dress will have her. I think my mother harbors bad feel- tipped your husband off to your changes in ings toward me, is resentful of the close lifestyle. He is apparently still hanging on. relationship I had with my father and is Even if I offered advice, the decisions trying to hurt me. and compromises you make in the — Ring is the issue moment won't last. Agree on an approach It is also possible that the ring has sen- that works for both of you today, and timental value to your mother, every bit when that no longer works, start negoti- as much as it does to you. Perhaps she is ating all over again. Welcome to the real not ready to part with the ring but does NEW BUILD IN 1999 COMMERCE TOWNSHIP CONTEMPORARY Beautiful 2-story home, West Bloomfield schools, 3 bedrooms, 2.5 baths, hardwood floors, large lot, sprinkler system, access to 2 lakes! Only $249,900. 6,500 sq. ft., first-floor master bedroom suite, 3 bedrooms lower level walk-out, loaded with amenities. Spectacular views. All-Sports Lower Straits Lake By Owner $1,500,000 248-360-6680 Call 248-363-4782 FARMINGTON HILLS MOVE-IN CONDITION Four bedroom, 2.5 bath colonial in north Farmington Hills. Many updates. Priced at $284,900. Oniu Call DAN! PET TOWN & COUNTRY 248-901-0245 Classic architecture, brick driveways, walks and porches. Incredible standard features include: granite countertops, oak flooring, two fireplaces with marble surrounds, premium appliances. two-person Jacuzzi and more! BLOOMFIELD HILLS 248.879-7710 askwendy@thejewishnews.com Gracious first-floor master and two-story plans from 3.150 sq. ft. 248-553-2311 114* Lexington Ave..#189, New York, NY 10021, or e-mail Enchanting wooded setting overlooking a meandering stream. OPEN SAT., SUN., MON 10-5 p.m. $339,000 5/25 2001 Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954 An Intimate And Elegant Enclave Of Detached Condominium Homes In West Bloomfield. , Gorgeous lot backs to wooded commons with stream. Custom, 4 bedrooms. Chestnut Run North 347 Sycamore Ct. Lot for Sale $500,000 Taxes $2,000 Existing home major reconstruction; partial teardown or full. not know how to tell you; perhaps she is not ready to let your father go and this is one way she continues to hold on. It does sound to me as if your mother is with- holding something from you that you desperately want. You and your mother have more to work out than the matter of your father's ring. Many mother-daughter relationships are less than ideal, but if you truly believe that your mother would intentionally try to hurt you, it is time either to get a pro- fessional involved to help the two of you work out your problems. Or to walk away. Better to leave the ring on the table but to have your peace of mind. 0 FROM THE S5 c Presented Davertg WOODS www.hermanfrankel.com S by Beautihilly deL)rated model open daily noon to 6 p.m. :Closed Thurs.. Farmington Rd. between Maple Rd. and 14 Mile Rd. 245-8L i-3500