C o mmunity
Spirituality
SHELLI LIEBMAN DORFMAN
Staff Writer-
IVIT hen Sari Abromovich
told her daughter "to
depend on the people
who love her, on her
own heart and on her faith," she was
offering advice she hoped would
carry her through the most difficult
of times.
With these words spoken at
Anna's March 24 bat mitzvah ser-
vice, Abromovich also was trying, in
the best way she knew how, to help
Anna understand and cope with the
impending death of her father, Hal.
Anna's bat mitzvah was originally
planned at Congregation Beth
Shalom for this coming May, just
before her 13th birthday on June 1.
But it was changed in January, when
her father, ill with brain cancer for
the last 2 1 /2 years, entered the
Hospice Home of Farmington Hills.
They discussed holding the ser-
vice in the chapel there. "Anna was
very graceful about it," Abromovich
says of her daughter, a student at
Norup Middle School in Oak Park.
"She said, 'I'll do whatever I have to
do."'
In late February, Mrs.
Abromovich spoke with her rabbi,
David Nelson. "I was feeling badly
that the bar mitzvah would not take
place in the synagogue
[Congregation Beth Shalom]," she
says. "Then I ran into the rabbi and
he told me he thought the service
should be at Beth Shalom."
He reminded her that she, Hal
and their son Scott, now 15, all
became b'nai mitzvah at Beth
Shalom, and that she and Hal were
married there. "Rabbi Nelson told
me, 'This is Anna's community. She
should be bat mitzvahed in her com-
munity," Mrs. Abromovich says.
"It was important for her to be
able to be on the bimah at the syna-
gogue just like her brother and her
parents," Rabbi Nelson says. Mrs.
Abromovich, whose family lives in
Huntington Woods, then began to
make plans for the March 24 cere-
mony.
But as the date got closer, Hal
Abromovich's doctors couldn't guar-
antee he would be well enough to be
with his daughter at the synagogue.
Throughout the months he spent
at the Hospice Home, his family
met with Rabbi E. B. "Bunny"
Freedman, whose role as director of
the Jewish Hospice and Chaplaincy
Network in Southfield includes serv-
Anna
Abrornovic
in the chai4
of the Hosp#:'
Home of
Farmington
Mills, with
herfit-her
Clergy and loved one made certain
Anna Abromovich's dad was with
her at her bat mitzvah.
ing Jewish patients at the Hospice
Home.
Rabbi Freedman conferred with
Rabbi Nelson, who had a solution.
Rabbi Nelson and Beth Shalom
Cantor Samuel Greenbaum would
make certain Hal Abromovich would
see his daughter become a bat mitz-
vah, even if it meant Anna would
read Torah at the hospice three days
before her bat mitzvah service in the
synagogue.
"There was a lot of uncertainty,"
Rabbi Nelson says. "Hal had incredi-
ble strength, but we didn't know how
long it would last. But we did know
we were not going to let him miss the
opportunity to hear his daughter."
"The rabbi and the cantor made
it their mission to make sure Hal
was able to be with Anna," Mrs.
Abromovich says.
Finding the Hospice Home staff
"wonderful and understanding of
the emotional toll taken on our
family," Mrs. Abromovich agreed it
was a comfortable surrounding for
the service.
With her family and clergy, Anna
read the Ashrei, said the prayer for
putting on the tallit and read from
the Torah in the chapel of the
Hospice Home.
"For the first time in six months,
I saw Hal smile," Rabbi Nelson
says. "When Anna opened her
mouth and raised her sweet voice,
he smiled.
Rabbi Nelson describes Anna as
both inwardly and outwardly beau ;
tiful. "Her portion from the Torah
was about sweetness," he says. "And
when she sang, I watched Hal and I
knew he would be able to be there
on Saturday."
And that Shabbat, he joined his
family in the synagogue.
"Anna's baby-naming was during
Havdalah (Shabbat closing ceremo-
ny,)" says her mother. "We wanted
her bat mitzvah to be during
Havdalah, too."
The ceremony, which included
Mincha (afternoon service) and
Maariv (evening service), was con-
ducted from a table on the sanctu-
ary floor because there is no ramp
up to the bimah for Hal
Abromovich's wheelchair.
"Hal sat near Anna and he told
her how proud he was of her," says
Rabbi Nelson. "She did beautifully."
Anna is the granddaughter of Sy
and Arline Finkelstein and Barnett
and Beryl Abromovich, all of West
Bloomfield, and the late Florence
Abromovich.
"It was a beautiful evening.
Obviously, there were overtones of
sadness, but the family is living
through a nightmare with dignity
and people understood the focus
was on Anna. She did superbly,"
Rabbi Nelson says.
Adds her mother: "She is a
remarkable child. She's a determined
little thing, with a huge heart. With
all that she's been through, she was
perfect."
Anna became a bat mitzvah sur-
rounded by her friends and her fam-
ily. She was with her brother, her
mother and her father, whom Sari
Abromovich says, "looked wonder-
ful and happy."
4/6
2001
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