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'though she lived her life
trapped in a body that grew
more immobile each day,
Debbie Groner's uplifting
spirit was boundless, enriching the
lives of all who knew her.
Debbie, 46, who lived with her par-
ents Rabbi Irwin and Leypsa Groner
in Southfield, died March 3 while
accompanying them on a trip to Boca
Raton, Fla. She had suffered since
childhood from myositis ossificans pro-
gressiva, a rare, crippling genetic disor-
der that gradually turned her muscle
tissue into bone.
Rabbi Groner, of Congregation
Shaarey Zedek, spoke emotionally at
his daughter's funeral. "I stand here
not as a rabbi," he said. "I stand here
as a father who is bereaved, a father
who feels the pain."
The overflow gathering at the funer-
al March 5 at Ira Kaufman Chapel
provided him comfort, he said.
In the eulogy, Rabbi Groner didn't
dwell on his daughter's disability.
Debbie, he said, was a bright "A"
student who accomplished much
before her disease physically overtook
her. She earned a master's degree in
guidance and counseling from the
University of Michigan and a master's
in special education from Marygrove
College in Detroit.
But what was so remarkable, he said,
was how Debbie's spirit overcame her
illness. "She was not bitter, she was
not angry, she did not withdraw
behind a wall of self-pity.
"She found enjoyment from the
smallest things that entered her con-
stricted life," he said. "A new book, a
bouquet of flowers, a ticket to a rock
concert. A greeting card from a friend.
"She was cheerful and the people
A
Debbie Groner with her
parents, Leypsa and Rabbi Irwin Groner,
at a bar mitzvah celebration two years ago.
who came to see her left with a feeling
of cheerfulness."
Debbie's youngest brother, Joel, said,
"A lot of people see my sister and
focus on the illness, she was so much
beyond that."
Added brother David, "We focused
on our family and our relationships
and the good things in life. She never
dwelled on or even brought up her ill-
ness. She just accepted it, it was her
fate and she lived with it and made
the most of her life.
"She was a great inspiration to
everyone."
Family friend and frequent visitor
Doreen Hermelin noted Debbie's
contagious sense of gratitude: "She
made us rethink what we were
thankful for and what we should be
thankful for — because she was so
incredible."
At the funeral, even the learned
rabbi drew a lesson from his daughter.
"If you are grateful, you will find
happiness," he said. "If you are not
grateful you will never find it.
"She taught us that. That was her
life."
Rabbi Groner credits his wife,
Leypsa, with developing their daugh-
ter's faith, determination and sense of
self-worth. "One could see in these
two lives how soul was bound up with
soul," he said.
Funeral director David Techner was
a longtime friend whom Debbie play-
fully called "Toots." "They made each
other laugh," said the rabbi. After her
death, Techner flew to Florida to expe-
dite his friend's return.
In Florida, she left the hospital the
day before she died, to be with her -
family on Shabbat. That Shabbat
afternoon, she died peacefully in her
sleep.
"She fell asleep and she slept and her
soul was taken on high," said her
father. "She died with God's kiss.
"We loved her," he added. "She
brought kindness, understanding and
laughter into our lives.
"She was a jewel, a jewel."
Deborah Groner is survived by her
parents, Rabbi Irwin and Leypsa
Groner and brothers David and Joel
Groner.
Interment was at Clover Hill Park
Cemetery. Contributions may be
made to the Debbie Groner Fund at
Congregation Shaarey Zedek, 27375
Bell Road, Southfield, MI 48034. El