Market!)late-
Ask Wendy
I'm Adopted, But Will Ilk Accepted?
Dear Wendy:
based your life on only partial
truths, you may want to focus
instead on finding your birth
parents. The only thing that
matters is how the woman who
gave you up for adoption will
receive you. Her decision to
allow you to find and meet her
is a personal choice, not one
dictated by religion or Jewish
WE NDY
law.
BELZ BERG
Even if there is a very com-
pelling reason why the secret
Speci at to
of your birth was kept from
the Jewi sh News
you for so long — and it is
hard to imagine that there is
— you will also have to come to terms
—Wondering
with the family that raised you. You
If your birth mother was Jewish, you
have your work cut out for you. Do not
are a Jew and will be acknowledged as
confuse your search for a family with
such by the Jewish community.
your affinity for Judaism. The Jewish
Otherwise, you may eventually decide
community has been there for centuries
you want to convert. Either way, there is
and will still be there once you solve
a place for you.
some of the other, more pressing mys-
It seems to me, however, that upon
teries you face.
discovering at the age of 44 that you have
Dear Wendy:
I am 44 years old and I
recently found out that I was
adopted. Furthermore, I
believe that I was born to a
Jewish family. I was not raised
as a Jew, but I've always felt a
strong affinity for Judaism.
What kind of reception can I
expect from the Jewish com-
munity as an adoptee search-
ing for my birth family?
Will I be accepted more read-
ily if I was originally born to
a Jewish family, like a "lost
sheep" returning to the fold?
Offer your husband and his mother
some well-earned quiet time while you
take the kids to visit your parents.
(Perhaps your husband feels the same w
about your mother that you feel about
his.) If you can't handle all three childre
alone, make it special for everyone by
taking one child at a time.
Finally, if your parents don't want
your mother-in-law staying in their
home, they could always come to visit
you and check into a hotel. Encourage
your parents to stay on topic. They
may kvell about the grandchildren, but
the subject of in-laws is strictly off lim
its. ❑
My 78-year-old mother-in-law lives
with us and our three children, ages 9,
5 and 1. I respect her and am grateful
to her for helping with our children
and the house so my husband and I
can work. The problem is my parents:
They don't like her and appear to be
jealous and resentful of her place in
our lives and the lives of our children.
They want me to leave my mother-in-
law at "home" when the family comes
to visit. Given her age and physical
condition, my husband and I do not
feel comfortable leaving her alone.
Nothing I say to my parents seems to
get through.
—Fighting Resentment
There is nothing wrong with your par-
ents expressing a desire to have time
alone with you and their grandchildren,
even if they don't express that wish as
kindly as they might. And there are ways
to accommodate your parents' wishes
without hurting anyone's feelings.
Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954
Lexington Ave. #189, New York,
NY 10021, or e-mail
askwendy@thejewishnews.com
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IT'S A
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KEECI
Condos
LAKE ORION. neutral
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810-695-9163.
Commercial Industrial
Commercial
FOR LEASE
IMMEDIATE OCCUPANCY
Comm. Bldg. in Troy,
Great Location.
Building: 6,000 sq. ft.,
Office: 1,100 sq. ft.
Heat & A/C.
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Call for appt.
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EMU Commercial
PONTIAC space for lease
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SHOP SPACE, 3600 sq ft &
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Office Space
M-59 & CROOKS 300 sq.
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call Frank 810-286-0334
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approx. 5,000 sq.ft. Com-
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4690
Home Furnishings
A BED a queen pillow top
mattress set, never used
still in plastic, list $549.00
sell $199.00
810-306-1999
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17K miles, $1,900 or bes
248-828-3621.
Boats
1996 SPX,
trailer and cover, low
hours (stored 3 summers),
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(hardly, used). Asking
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Twp. Weekdays 734-996-
0966, weekends 810-286-
3977 ask for Jared.
IMEDI Four Wheel Drives
Country home on 10 acres
for rent w/ 2 car attached
gar/opener. Lg. kitchen
w/brick frpl., living/dining
rm., 3 bedrm, 1.5 bath,
2200 sq.ft. Oxford area.
Perfect for family. $1450
month. Available Feb 1.
248-969-7784/321-4526
loaded, bedliner, tonneau
cover, $8800. 248-682-6158
fied is the way to go.
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