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February 02, 2001 - Image 136

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 2001-02-02

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

rs---- 11;;;etplace

Ask Wendy

Don't Hesitate To Share Feelings

Dear Wendy:
12-step program to a newly
I grew up in a religious
read book — can be annoying
home. A close friend of mine
if you do not share the same
has just recently become reli-
point of view. At least she is
gious. She has the zeal of a
spouting Torah and nor the
baal teshuvah (a non-observant
teachings of Hare Krishna.
Jew who becomes observant),
Since she is a close friend, you
but she has the knowledge of a
can comfortably tell her what is
child. She has started covering
on your mind. Your other choice
her hair, but she wears tight
is to just steer clear for a while
WENDY
blue jeans; she has two sets of
and allow your friend's education
dishes, but many of the prod-
BE LZBERG
to catch up with her enthusiasm.
ucts in her kitchen do not have
This could, however, take a year
Special to
the proper rabbinical seal. She
or two. Remind her that Jewish
the J ewish News
has also begun criticizing,
law is based on different inter-
albeit gently, some of my
pretations of text, makc sure she
observances. I don't want to squelch her
has a good rabbi, and encourage her to
enthusiasm, but I can't listen to any
enroll in classes that will fill in some of her
more of her pronouncements.
gaps. On the other hand, choosing to help
— Heard Enough
her fill in some of those gaps may be the
Frankly, the fervor that often accom-
incentive you need to spend a little more
panies any newfound passion — from a
time learning, yourself.

Marketplace

Dear Wendy:
My husband and I adopted a baby
boy at 6 months who is now 4 years old.
I would dearly love to adopt another,
but my husband is against it. He cites
our "ages" — he is 39 and I am 40, the
expense (we could still afford it) and the
uncertainty of how the baby would
turn out"; (1 have a masters degree and
10 years of teaching experience in both
special and gifted education). I feel my
husband is basing his decision on fear
rather than love.

"



go wrong.
Toss aside your talking points and let
your emotions lead. You want another
child and this is your life. Does your hus-
band want you to look back and have
regrets? Does he want to be the one
responsible for those regrets? Ask him if
he can imagine your lives without the sor
you already have and then paint a por-
trait of your new family, double the love,
double the joy. (Why use logic when
good-old fashioned guilt can so easily wir
out?) Good luck. God is on your side.



Quandary

You will not win this battle with logic
and intellect. Everything about raising
children is counterintuitive. Your hus-
band ,ounds like a wise man. To become
a paienr — no matter how many chil-
dren you already have, natural or adopted
— and not be feal ful means you're in
denial about all of the things that could

Write to "Ask Wendy" at 954
Lexington Ave. #189, New York,
NY 10021, or e-mail
askwendy@thejewishnews.corn

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