Ask Wendy
Speak Up If Christmas
Gestures Offend You
You could reciprocate by
Dear Wendy:
purchasing a lovely Star of
My sister-in-law is not
David pendant for her daugh-
Jewish. Last night, she came
ter, or you could come out of
over to our house for a visit
the freezer and say what you
bearing gifts for our children.
think. There are few safe
She gave our daughter a book
havens for Jews during the full-
about a family that celebrates
scale assault of the Christmas
both Christmas and Chanukah
season, and your home needs
and said to me, in front of our
to be one of them.
5-year-old, "I hope you don't
WEN DY
First things first: tell your
mind. I bought the same book
daughter that as Jews, you only
for my daughter."
BELZB ERG
celebrate Chanukah and then
I froze. She was thoughtful
Specia 1 to
—
quietly — make the book
to bring a gift, and I didn't
h
News
the Jewis
disappear. Second, there is
want to offend her or my
nothing politically incorrect
brother-in-law by saying what
about telling your sister-in-law the same
I really felt — that we don't celebrate
thing. It's certainly no more offensive for
Christmas in our house and I do mind.
you to remind her that you and your hus-
The moment has passed, and I don't
band are Jewish than it was for her to
know how to revisit the incident with-
proselytize in your own home. Religious
out seeming petty.
wars have erupted over less. Speak your
—December Dilemma
mind; moments like the one you
described never pass.
* * * * * * * *
Dear Wendy:
My husband and I intend to make
aliyah (move to Israel) next summer after
many years of planning. My brother is
already living in Israel with his children
and grandchildren. We want my mother,
who is 87 and widowed, to come with us.
She would feel guilty if she thought we
didn't make our move because of her, and
I would feel guilty if she didn't come with
us. Any advice on how or when to tell her?
—
Mother's Moment
Does she read this paper? You could
always leave it open to this page on her
bedside table.
Actually, you should have told her
already. It took you many years of planning
to make your decision; she is entitled to the
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•
INTEGRATED
NUTRITION
Patricia A.
RD, LD/I\T
o ND-0003527
State of FL, Lice
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Barbara
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same or, at the very least, as much time as
you can give her. Asking an 87- year-old
woman to move to a country where peace
is tenuous, she doesn't have friends and she
doesn't speak the language is asking a lot —
even if her children do live there. Why not
start by asking your mother to go with you
for a few weeks, or a few months, on a trial
basis?
But let's not handicap your mother's
reaction: she actually may be thrilled either
to move, or to be asked, or both. You are
realizing your life's dream of making aliyah
and mothers are most fulfilled when their
children are fulfilled. At the risk of seeming
like a simpleton, if there is a happy ending
for everyone, why all the guilt? 0
Write to 'Ask Wendy" at 954 Lexington
Ave. #189, New York, NY 10021,
or e-mail
diejewishnews .co m
askwen.
, •3 •
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