Ask Wendy Speak Up If Christmas Gestures Offend You You could reciprocate by Dear Wendy: purchasing a lovely Star of My sister-in-law is not David pendant for her daugh- Jewish. Last night, she came ter, or you could come out of over to our house for a visit the freezer and say what you bearing gifts for our children. think. There are few safe She gave our daughter a book havens for Jews during the full- about a family that celebrates scale assault of the Christmas both Christmas and Chanukah season, and your home needs and said to me, in front of our to be one of them. 5-year-old, "I hope you don't WEN DY First things first: tell your mind. I bought the same book daughter that as Jews, you only for my daughter." BELZB ERG celebrate Chanukah and then I froze. She was thoughtful Specia 1 to — quietly — make the book to bring a gift, and I didn't h News the Jewis disappear. Second, there is want to offend her or my nothing politically incorrect brother-in-law by saying what about telling your sister-in-law the same I really felt — that we don't celebrate thing. It's certainly no more offensive for Christmas in our house and I do mind. you to remind her that you and your hus- The moment has passed, and I don't band are Jewish than it was for her to know how to revisit the incident with- proselytize in your own home. Religious out seeming petty. wars have erupted over less. Speak your —December Dilemma mind; moments like the one you described never pass. * * * * * * * * Dear Wendy: My husband and I intend to make aliyah (move to Israel) next summer after many years of planning. My brother is already living in Israel with his children and grandchildren. We want my mother, who is 87 and widowed, to come with us. She would feel guilty if she thought we didn't make our move because of her, and I would feel guilty if she didn't come with us. Any advice on how or when to tell her? — Mother's Moment Does she read this paper? You could always leave it open to this page on her bedside table. Actually, you should have told her already. It took you many years of planning to make your decision; she is entitled to the .0g:Ii* 4 AV, 0 * 4,' ;0 , 4, . • INTEGRATED NUTRITION Patricia A. RD, LD/I\T o ND-0003527 State of FL, Lice o Barbara LD/N y \ ND-0003411 State of FL, \ 32401 No -; es terh Hwy. RaliStefed DielitiallS/V1IbithnilStS addreSSillq: Delaney Czarnecki Physical Therapy P.C. Specializing in Manual Therapy and Exercise Loren DeVinney, PT., 0.M.P.T. John Czamecki, PT., 0.M.P.T. same or, at the very least, as much time as you can give her. Asking an 87- year-old woman to move to a country where peace is tenuous, she doesn't have friends and she doesn't speak the language is asking a lot — even if her children do live there. Why not start by asking your mother to go with you for a few weeks, or a few months, on a trial basis? But let's not handicap your mother's reaction: she actually may be thrilled either to move, or to be asked, or both. You are realizing your life's dream of making aliyah and mothers are most fulfilled when their children are fulfilled. At the risk of seeming like a simpleton, if there is a happy ending for everyone, why all the guilt? 0 Write to 'Ask Wendy" at 954 Lexington Ave. #189, New York, NY 10021, or e-mail diejewishnews .co m askwen. , •3 • • s\UkA ' 74k 5tVat( % & *g*'' 1Rhonna Feldman-Nelson, MSW, ACSW, P.C. Psychotherapist Specializing in: Couples, Eating Disorders, EMDR, Adult Incest Survivors & Chemical Dependency 5839 W. 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