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PERFECT PARENTING
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business partner. Much of her moral
and ethical philosophy reflects her
strong Orthodox commitment, and
many of her views are based on the
teachings of the Bible.
Recently, Schlessinger was in New
York, and following an appearance on
the Today show, she spoke with the
Jewish News at her hotel suite at the
Plaza Athenee. Dressed in a bright
pink blazer, white blouse, black pants
and a sparkling Jewish Star of David
around her neck, the attractive,
blonde-haired, petite radio talk-show
host was gracious and straightforward.
Here's what she had to say about her
book, motherhood and parenting.
JN: Why do you think you have such
a following?
LS: I think I speak to a moral intu-
itiveness that is out there and not
being reinforced. It's clear I am not
doing shtick.
JN: Mother's Day is Sunday. How
will you be celebrating?
LS: We usually go out to lunch — a
kosher place, of course, and go to a
movie. Hopefully I will also be
bequeathed with tulips, my favorite
flower. I usually get those on Mother's
Day and I love it. Usually the only sur-
prise is which color of tulips. Even
though I am not my husband's moth-
er, he will probably get me some nice
little bobble. My son will give me hugs
and squeezes, but I get those every day.
JN: How has your show and style
changed over the years?
Alice Burdick Schweiger is a
New York-based freelance writer.
5/12
2000
U4
JN: What about parents of high-
school age children? Is it OK to go
back to work then?
LS: As long as you are home by 3
p.m. That's when teenagers get in
trouble, between the hours of 3 and 6.
JN: What is the biggest problem of
kids today?
LS: Neglect. These neglected kids
bond together and get into trouble.
How can a kid construct bombs in
their garage [like at Columbine High
School] without the parents knowing
it? It's because the child had his own
life and the parents had their own life.
JN: Some believe that Jewish parents
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"Some of what
kids get into is
normal, but if you
haven't been there
all along, it's going
to be a nightmare."
JN: What makes you the angriest?
IS: Neglected children. It's the
greatest form of abuse in our soci-
ety today. Children are innocent,
dependent and needy, and for us
to put that aside for our wants,
entitlement, desires and fulfill-
ment is criminal.
JN: Your calls are screened. Which
callers are not put through?
LS: The calls are screened concerning
subject matter, to make sure we
haven't been there a thousand times
before. Calls are put through as long
as they are appropriate to the show
and are an ethical question, not a ther-
apy question.
demands require - sacrificing time and
attention their children need could do
it differently and better.
JN: You say it's critical that a parent
stay at home with young children.
Does it matter which parent is at
home? What about a grandparent?
IS: The first year or so it should be
mommy, because babies come from our
bodies and I think we have a special
JN: What are the three most important
qualities that make a good mother?
JN: How do you differ from
other radio therapists?
LS: I don't do radio therapy. I am
challenging people on moral and
ethical issues. I am challenging,
nagging, preaching. I am not
doing shrinkdom.
JN: In giving advice, do you have
any regrets?
IS: I would have regrets if I gave
advice, but I don't give advice — I
nag. I have certain strong feelings and
beliefs and I am either courageous or
stupid enough to be right out there
with them. I give my point of view
and I never regret that. Ever.
while they were growing up. Some of
what kids get into is normal, but if you
haven't been there all along, it's going to
be a nightmare. That's how stepparents
feel who have a step-teenager. They
many into the family and the child
doesn't accept them as an authority
because they haven't been there. It's the
same for biological parents who haven't
been there. They come home after work
at 8 or 9 at night and they are tired and
don't want to be bothered. Their kids
don't accept them as an authority
because there has been no bond.
LS: I have matured as a person. I am 53
years old now and started when I was a
pipsqueak. As I matured as an individ-
ual, the show matured — I became reli-
gious and I became a mother.
,mmommummykimmwmg
Dr. Laura
Schlessinger
PARENTIMO
— Dr. Laura Schlessinger
II
-
LS: Sacrifice, sense of humor and
emotional availability.
JN: None of us is a perfect parent.
What, if anything, would you have
done differently in raising your child?
Do you have any regrets as a mother?
IS: From day to day you have regrets
— I yelled too much, I didn't hug
enough, I didn't make up fast enough.
But overall, no. My heart and head
were always in the right place.
JN: Your son is 14. What can you say
to parents of emerging teenagers?
LS: It's too late. I love when people call
me asking what to do about their
teenager who is using drugs, not study-
ing, etc. But they were never around
ke neM inKen
4;
In "Parenthood By indulge their children._
kind of bond that's irrefutable.
Proxy" Dr. Laura Do you think Jewish par-
After that, I am very flexible
marshals evidence ents indulge their chil-
that it can be either parent.
about
the "widespread dren more than other
Grandparents are not the
neglect
of America's ethnic groups?
same as parents — they are
children"
and con- LS: I don't know because
not mommy or daddy. For
demns the rational- I am mostly in the
fill-ins, I'd rather it was some-
izations to excuse it. Orthodox and Chabad
thing like grandparents who
community, and if they
have love for the child. But
indulge
their
children with anything,
still, they have been there, done that,
it's
[with]
spirituality,
education and
and it's not the same as a parent.
their own presence. That's the kind
of indulgence that's good. Giving
What about an economy that forces
them "things" instead is the activity
two parents to work?
LS: For most couples, the dual income of parents who are not there. It's
is not necessary to pay for "the basics," always the neglectful parents who are
the most indulgent.
but to support a more luxurious
lifestyle. Even those parents who
JN: Have you faced antisemitism?
maintain that desperate economic