Arts Entertainme PERFECT PARENTING from page 103 business partner. Much of her moral and ethical philosophy reflects her strong Orthodox commitment, and many of her views are based on the teachings of the Bible. Recently, Schlessinger was in New York, and following an appearance on the Today show, she spoke with the Jewish News at her hotel suite at the Plaza Athenee. Dressed in a bright pink blazer, white blouse, black pants and a sparkling Jewish Star of David around her neck, the attractive, blonde-haired, petite radio talk-show host was gracious and straightforward. Here's what she had to say about her book, motherhood and parenting. JN: Why do you think you have such a following? LS: I think I speak to a moral intu- itiveness that is out there and not being reinforced. It's clear I am not doing shtick. JN: Mother's Day is Sunday. How will you be celebrating? LS: We usually go out to lunch — a kosher place, of course, and go to a movie. Hopefully I will also be bequeathed with tulips, my favorite flower. I usually get those on Mother's Day and I love it. Usually the only sur- prise is which color of tulips. Even though I am not my husband's moth- er, he will probably get me some nice little bobble. My son will give me hugs and squeezes, but I get those every day. JN: How has your show and style changed over the years? Alice Burdick Schweiger is a New York-based freelance writer. 5/12 2000 U4 JN: What about parents of high- school age children? Is it OK to go back to work then? LS: As long as you are home by 3 p.m. That's when teenagers get in trouble, between the hours of 3 and 6. JN: What is the biggest problem of kids today? LS: Neglect. These neglected kids bond together and get into trouble. How can a kid construct bombs in their garage [like at Columbine High School] without the parents knowing it? It's because the child had his own life and the parents had their own life. JN: Some believe that Jewish parents mt ..mi . ramt<;,-..f.armw:,cm.„,:immommutaismagaunsummowamommommenzagawaaRamemanwzmumammaumasm "Some of what kids get into is normal, but if you haven't been there all along, it's going to be a nightmare." JN: What makes you the angriest? IS: Neglected children. It's the greatest form of abuse in our soci- ety today. Children are innocent, dependent and needy, and for us to put that aside for our wants, entitlement, desires and fulfill- ment is criminal. JN: Your calls are screened. Which callers are not put through? LS: The calls are screened concerning subject matter, to make sure we haven't been there a thousand times before. Calls are put through as long as they are appropriate to the show and are an ethical question, not a ther- apy question. demands require - sacrificing time and attention their children need could do it differently and better. JN: You say it's critical that a parent stay at home with young children. Does it matter which parent is at home? What about a grandparent? IS: The first year or so it should be mommy, because babies come from our bodies and I think we have a special JN: What are the three most important qualities that make a good mother? JN: How do you differ from other radio therapists? LS: I don't do radio therapy. I am challenging people on moral and ethical issues. I am challenging, nagging, preaching. I am not doing shrinkdom. JN: In giving advice, do you have any regrets? IS: I would have regrets if I gave advice, but I don't give advice — I nag. I have certain strong feelings and beliefs and I am either courageous or stupid enough to be right out there with them. I give my point of view and I never regret that. Ever. while they were growing up. Some of what kids get into is normal, but if you haven't been there all along, it's going to be a nightmare. That's how stepparents feel who have a step-teenager. They many into the family and the child doesn't accept them as an authority because they haven't been there. It's the same for biological parents who haven't been there. They come home after work at 8 or 9 at night and they are tired and don't want to be bothered. Their kids don't accept them as an authority because there has been no bond. LS: I have matured as a person. I am 53 years old now and started when I was a pipsqueak. As I matured as an individ- ual, the show matured — I became reli- gious and I became a mother. ,mmommummykimmwmg Dr. Laura Schlessinger PARENTIMO — Dr. Laura Schlessinger II - LS: Sacrifice, sense of humor and emotional availability. JN: None of us is a perfect parent. What, if anything, would you have done differently in raising your child? Do you have any regrets as a mother? IS: From day to day you have regrets — I yelled too much, I didn't hug enough, I didn't make up fast enough. But overall, no. My heart and head were always in the right place. JN: Your son is 14. What can you say to parents of emerging teenagers? LS: It's too late. I love when people call me asking what to do about their teenager who is using drugs, not study- ing, etc. But they were never around ke neM inKen 4; In "Parenthood By indulge their children._ kind of bond that's irrefutable. Proxy" Dr. Laura Do you think Jewish par- After that, I am very flexible marshals evidence ents indulge their chil- that it can be either parent. about the "widespread dren more than other Grandparents are not the neglect of America's ethnic groups? same as parents — they are children" and con- LS: I don't know because not mommy or daddy. For demns the rational- I am mostly in the fill-ins, I'd rather it was some- izations to excuse it. Orthodox and Chabad thing like grandparents who community, and if they have love for the child. But indulge their children with anything, still, they have been there, done that, it's [with] spirituality, education and and it's not the same as a parent. their own presence. That's the kind of indulgence that's good. Giving What about an economy that forces them "things" instead is the activity two parents to work? LS: For most couples, the dual income of parents who are not there. It's is not necessary to pay for "the basics," always the neglectful parents who are the most indulgent. but to support a more luxurious lifestyle. Even those parents who JN: Have you faced antisemitism? maintain that desperate economic