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November 26, 1999 - Image 26

Resource type:
Text
Publication:
The Detroit Jewish News, 1999-11-26

Disclaimer: Computer generated plain text may have errors. Read more about this.

HIGHLY RATED

'Times Square
Rabbi'

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PHIL JACOBS Contributing Editor
SHELLI DORFMAN Staff Writer

525

I

n Manhattan, lives one of a
handful of teachers and coun-
selors who understand both the
world of Torah and the under-
ground of the dropout teen.
A man of almost legendary pro-
portions in the area of rescue and
counseling, Rabbi
Yehuda Fine rides by
van and travels by
foot in subway tun-
nels, back streets and
alleys. He has seen
this "underground"
painfully up close.
At 6 p.m. Tuesday,
Dec. 7, Rabbi Fine
will speak at Congregation Shaarey
Zedek in Southfield on strengthening
personal connections with those
important in our lives.
He is also known as the "Times
Square Rabbi," a name gleaned from
the tide of his recently published book
Times Square Rabbi: Finding Hope in
Lost Kids' Lives. In it, he describes rela-
tionships he built and sustained with
homeless and runaway kids.
A family therapist, member of the
guidance faculty at Yeshiva

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University and host of a monthly
forum for the America Online
Addictions and Recovery Web site,
Rabbi Fine has addressed the issue
of violence in schools nationwide,
including at Columbine High
School in Littleton, Colo.
"One of the reasons we invited
Rabbi Fine was because of the vio-
lence in the schools," says Sandra
Jaffa, executive
director of the
Women's Campaign
and Education
Department at the
Jewish Federation of
Metropolitan
Detroit. Its Women's
Institute is sponsor-
ing the event.
Jaffa says Rabbi Fine will speak
about the violence and of the commu-
nication that can deter it.
Proposing relationship suggestions
he has found successful on the streets,
in the home and workplace, Rabbi
Fine offers his own take on the prob-
lems he sees.
Giving parents permission to not
be so perfect, he says, should include
allowing children see the parents'
imperfections as people and as moms
and dads.

I. "Parents have to understand
that adolescents experiment with
things."
2. "One-time incidents are not
chronic behavior, and this includes if
your kid staggers in drunk. If it's a
one-time event, it's not a problem. It's
something that needs to be dis-
cussed."
3. "Parents need to get involved.
In the average American family, par-
ents spend less than eight minutes a
day talking to their teens — I sus-.
pect less in frum (observant) fami-
lies. The father is often a non-entity;
learning over the parsha (Torah por-
tion). You can't talk to children
about their lives if you are learning
the parsha."

ed, w
what was ba
5. "Paten
adolescents ke y

pharalents.
e th y it'i
That's rtant to ..t,en
your child's music, play their VI
games. The danger of society is n.0
in the music or the graphics or the
lyrics. It's not the game; its what's
going on inside. We have to change
the discussion from the external,
that everything out there is predato-
ry and evil. We have this thinking
that if somehow we can get the
predatory things away from the
kids, they'll be beautiful."

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