t(4

For Openers

What's Tours Is Irme,
What's Mine Is Mme

I

Notable Numbers

Israel By The Numbers

f something is "up for grabs," it usu-
ally does not last too long around our
office, especially food treats. But
that's good: Things do not go to

waste.
However, there seems to be a prolifera-
tion these days of those who help them-
selves wherever they are to things that are
not necessarily meant for disbursal.
Imagine our surprise during a recent
hotel stay to find that if we wanted the
dresser lamp closer to the mirror, too bad.
It was bolted to the dresser top. We have
even found places where the pictures have
been secured to the walls. Do you think
that it's just to keep them from shifting?
Dream on.
Once, when visiting a model home, I
inquired of the salesperson as to why the
handles were missing from the furniture in
the master bedroom. She said that there
have been people removing the handles, so
the builders took them off first.
I recall from when I was still teaching that
if something was left on a desk, even while the
owner went to the blackboard or wastebasket,
it would probably be gone upon the owner's
return. When was it decided that anything
not in hand is fair game?
There was an item in the news a while
ago that in New York City someone finally
got revenge on some "grabbers." A dog
owner faithfully followed his pet on an
evening walk and upon returning home
placed the contents of the pooper-scooper
in a box with a ribbon and left it on his
own doorstep. You guessed it; it did not
stay there more than an hour! Well, that
was deserved, as far as I am concerned.
Do you recall the saying, "God helps
those who help themselves"? Well, I'd like
to add to that, "God help those who are
caught helping themselves." ❑
— Sy Manello, Editorial Assistant

GRAPEJEWZ

6,169,000
6,015,000
9,000,000

Source: Israel Central Bureau of Statistics

Yiddish Limericks

A young Jewish chaplain named Brown
Was told by his boss, with a frown,
"You're too brief each day.
You cannot just pray
Abi gezunt,* boys,' and sit down!"

*As long as you're healthy!

— Martha Jo Fleischmann

Quotables

"I guess I was naive to think I'd be in a Tigers uni-
form forever."
— Jewish baseball player Gabe Kapler, traded
recently by the Detroit Tigers to the Texas Rangers, as
quoted in the Detroit News.

Celebrate Chanukah
in a most meaningful way...
by sharing the gift of giving

"Yiddish is quickly supplanting Latin as the spice
in American legal argot."
— Judge Alex Kozinski, of the U.S. Court of Appeals,
and Eugene Volokh in their humorous law journal essay
"Lawsuit, Shmawsuit," on the preponderance of
Yiddish in the legal system.

Tzedakah Box Drop Off
Chanukah Party

"How would we have extracted informa-
tion? With an espresso, a cappuccino, a
strudel with hot butter?"
— Deputy Minister of Defense Ephraim
Sneh, after the Israeli Supreme Court abolished the use of physical pressure in
interrogations.

Gabe Kapler

"The bombing was so bright that you could read the newspaper by the red
sky.
— Dr. Gunter Blobel ofRockefeller University, the non-Jewish, German-born
winner of the 1999 Nobel Prize for Medicine, recalling the bombing of Dresden
as. a child. He's donating most of the $960, 000 in prize money toward rebuild-
ing a Dresden synagogue and restoring the city's architectural legacy.

BY Mendel

OH My, MOOR 13Pte9 IS SO

ADORABLE!
THANK SOU

Present population
One year ago
Estimated 2020 population

E KI\JOGJI1-IAT V DU WERE
STINGGLING TO FIND A
NAME, 1AJNAT DID yOU

FINALL Ekn) UP CALF -wcy

Him?

GJGJW,51-11-0 MO. COM

WE WANTED

somemimG

MODERN
TRADITIONAL

Aft

Tuesday, December 7
4:30 to 6:30 p.m.

JARC Office
28366 Franklin Road
Southfield

Return the Tzedakah Box
you received at the
Lily Tomlin show —
Refreshments, games
and fun for all ages
(especially the kids!)

Drop by for a few minutes
on December 7th —
it'll be worth your time!

Need a JARC Tzedakah Box?
NO PROBLEM
Call the JARC Tzedakah Box Hotline
at 248-352-5277, ext. 418
We'll send you one!

28366 Franklin Road
Southfield, MI 48034
jarc@jarc.org
www.jarc.org

11/19

1999

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