t(4 For Openers What's Tours Is Irme, What's Mine Is Mme I Notable Numbers Israel By The Numbers f something is "up for grabs," it usu- ally does not last too long around our office, especially food treats. But that's good: Things do not go to waste. However, there seems to be a prolifera- tion these days of those who help them- selves wherever they are to things that are not necessarily meant for disbursal. Imagine our surprise during a recent hotel stay to find that if we wanted the dresser lamp closer to the mirror, too bad. It was bolted to the dresser top. We have even found places where the pictures have been secured to the walls. Do you think that it's just to keep them from shifting? Dream on. Once, when visiting a model home, I inquired of the salesperson as to why the handles were missing from the furniture in the master bedroom. She said that there have been people removing the handles, so the builders took them off first. I recall from when I was still teaching that if something was left on a desk, even while the owner went to the blackboard or wastebasket, it would probably be gone upon the owner's return. When was it decided that anything not in hand is fair game? There was an item in the news a while ago that in New York City someone finally got revenge on some "grabbers." A dog owner faithfully followed his pet on an evening walk and upon returning home placed the contents of the pooper-scooper in a box with a ribbon and left it on his own doorstep. You guessed it; it did not stay there more than an hour! Well, that was deserved, as far as I am concerned. Do you recall the saying, "God helps those who help themselves"? Well, I'd like to add to that, "God help those who are caught helping themselves." ❑ — Sy Manello, Editorial Assistant GRAPEJEWZ 6,169,000 6,015,000 9,000,000 Source: Israel Central Bureau of Statistics Yiddish Limericks A young Jewish chaplain named Brown Was told by his boss, with a frown, "You're too brief each day. You cannot just pray Abi gezunt,* boys,' and sit down!" *As long as you're healthy! — Martha Jo Fleischmann Quotables "I guess I was naive to think I'd be in a Tigers uni- form forever." — Jewish baseball player Gabe Kapler, traded recently by the Detroit Tigers to the Texas Rangers, as quoted in the Detroit News. Celebrate Chanukah in a most meaningful way... by sharing the gift of giving "Yiddish is quickly supplanting Latin as the spice in American legal argot." — Judge Alex Kozinski, of the U.S. Court of Appeals, and Eugene Volokh in their humorous law journal essay "Lawsuit, Shmawsuit," on the preponderance of Yiddish in the legal system. Tzedakah Box Drop Off Chanukah Party "How would we have extracted informa- tion? With an espresso, a cappuccino, a strudel with hot butter?" — Deputy Minister of Defense Ephraim Sneh, after the Israeli Supreme Court abolished the use of physical pressure in interrogations. Gabe Kapler "The bombing was so bright that you could read the newspaper by the red sky. — Dr. Gunter Blobel ofRockefeller University, the non-Jewish, German-born winner of the 1999 Nobel Prize for Medicine, recalling the bombing of Dresden as. a child. He's donating most of the $960, 000 in prize money toward rebuild- ing a Dresden synagogue and restoring the city's architectural legacy. BY Mendel OH My, MOOR 13Pte9 IS SO ADORABLE! THANK SOU Present population One year ago Estimated 2020 population E KI\JOGJI1-IAT V DU WERE STINGGLING TO FIND A NAME, 1AJNAT DID yOU FINALL Ekn) UP CALF -wcy Him? GJGJW,51-11-0 MO. COM WE WANTED somemimG MODERN TRADITIONAL Aft Tuesday, December 7 4:30 to 6:30 p.m. JARC Office 28366 Franklin Road Southfield Return the Tzedakah Box you received at the Lily Tomlin show — Refreshments, games and fun for all ages (especially the kids!) Drop by for a few minutes on December 7th — it'll be worth your time! Need a JARC Tzedakah Box? NO PROBLEM Call the JARC Tzedakah Box Hotline at 248-352-5277, ext. 418 We'll send you one! 28366 Franklin Road Southfield, MI 48034 jarc@jarc.org www.jarc.org 11/19 1999 5