The BiG Story
CyberSafe
Here's how to keep children safe
when they're on the Internet.
[Cori Waldman
Special to the AppleTree
immy Schneider of West
Bloomfield was amazed.
The e-mail being sent to his
14-year-old daughter, Andrea, was
not what any parent would want his
or her child to see. She was receiv-
ing messages that contained both
graphic pictures and suggestive lan-
guage.
By attempting to stop it, Schnei-
der, a father of three daughters,
was joining the growing number of
parents who are concerned about
protecting their children — as
young as 5 years old — from expo-
sure to the dark side of the Internet.
Because the number of Web sites
literally increases by the thousands
each day, there isn't any way to
chart the exact spots that that are
inappropriate for children to see.
There's no question that sex is one
of the most popular topics on the
Internet, both on Web sites and in
chat rooms. Making the matter
more complicated is the fact that
names are deceiving: a Web
address that might seem like an
obvious opportunity for children to
learn or play games will, in fact,
turn up nude photos.
Another danger is that sites are
hooked to automatically link up to
another of the same lurid nature. A
child who finds himself on a sex site
and wants to get off, may have to
first click through at least 10 win-
dows.
Also potentially dangerous are the
computer chat rooms, where men
and women, boys and girls, can
"talk" to each other. Most of the
conversation is, of course, harmless
(and sometimes even brings unex-
pected benefits; quite a few Jewish
couples have met via the Internet).
Some chat rooms have investigators
patrolling to weed out those who
don't belong, because chat rooms
are also places where a child
predator can make conversation
with a lonely or bored youngster.
Just two weeks ago, Michigan
police arrested two such pedophiles
that had arranged "dates" with
unsuspecting children they met in
chat rooms.
So what did the Schneider family
do about the unwanted e-mail mes-
sages?
Help For Parents
The following programs offer parents the option of blocking inappropri-
ate Internet sites:
www.webchaperone.com
www.smartparent.com
www.fimesup.com
www.securitysoft.com
Or, read these online safety books:
A Parent's Guide to the Internet... And How to Protect Your Children in
Cyberspace by Parry Aftab
Internet Family Fun: A Parent's Guide to Safe Surfing by Bonnie Bruno
10 / 15
1999
They began by reporting the inci-
dents to the family's Internet service
provider. They learned the mes-
sages were randomly coming off
Web sites. Their response: no
response.
"By taking control and not
responding directly to the sender,
the mail has stopped," Schneider
says.
"As a parent, you can protect
your children from receiving such
harassing mail. Just as you teach
your child rules about dealing with
strangers outside the home, you
must provide rules for communicat-
ing online," he says. "A few basic
rules are: Don't accept anything
[including e-mail] from someone you
do not know, and never make
plans to meet someone you met
over the Internet." He advises not to
give out any personal information,
such as name, address or tele-
phone number. "And never enter an
area, such as a chat room, that
makes you feel uncomfortable," he
adds.
Today in the Schneider household,
each family member has his or her
own screen name set up with
restrictions appropriate to their
ages. They also have installed a fil-
tering software program, which
blocks objectionable sites, regulates
what is coming into their computer
and monitors time spent online.
Schneider also suggests that par-
ents every once in a while log into
their child's screen name and see
what is being downloaded. By
opening the children's downloaded
files, you can see what sites have
been visited in the last 30 days; by
logging in on their screen name,
you can see what messages have
been received.
"Today's parents must be confident
that their children's use of the Inter-
net is going to improve their educa-
tion, not cause harm nor open a .
child up to inappropriate material,"
says Mark Noble, branch manager
of Eclipse Information Systems in
Tips For
Online Safety
• Spend as much time as pos-
sible with your child while he or
she is online.
• Discuss online safety rules
with your child and post them
by the computer.
Remind children and teens
not to give out personal infor-
mation, such as home address,
school name and telephone
number.
• Set reasonable computer
time limits that are appropriate
to .your children's ages.
• Consider using a filtering
software program that will help
block Internet sites you do not
want your children to see.
• Report inappropriate materi-
al sent to you to your Internet
service provider and ask for an
investigation as to where it
came from Or report it to the
CyberTipline at
www.missingkids.com or
call 1-800-843-5678.
• Learn more about the Inter-
net yourself so thai you can
become as computer savvy as
your child.
Farmington Hills. "There are several
effective tools for managing chil-
dren's computer use and safety on
the Internet, including
www.cyberpatrol.com and
www.netnanny.com . Your Internet
service provider may also be able
to provide a filtering program for
you.
"The majority of sites are perfectly
safe," Noble says. "but teaching
your child to make wise choices is
one of the most important things a
parent can do. It is also important
for parents to educate themselves
about the new technology our chil-
dren have access to."