The BiG Story CyberSafe Here's how to keep children safe when they're on the Internet. [Cori Waldman Special to the AppleTree immy Schneider of West Bloomfield was amazed. The e-mail being sent to his 14-year-old daughter, Andrea, was not what any parent would want his or her child to see. She was receiv- ing messages that contained both graphic pictures and suggestive lan- guage. By attempting to stop it, Schnei- der, a father of three daughters, was joining the growing number of parents who are concerned about protecting their children — as young as 5 years old — from expo- sure to the dark side of the Internet. Because the number of Web sites literally increases by the thousands each day, there isn't any way to chart the exact spots that that are inappropriate for children to see. There's no question that sex is one of the most popular topics on the Internet, both on Web sites and in chat rooms. Making the matter more complicated is the fact that names are deceiving: a Web address that might seem like an obvious opportunity for children to learn or play games will, in fact, turn up nude photos. Another danger is that sites are hooked to automatically link up to another of the same lurid nature. A child who finds himself on a sex site and wants to get off, may have to first click through at least 10 win- dows. Also potentially dangerous are the computer chat rooms, where men and women, boys and girls, can "talk" to each other. Most of the conversation is, of course, harmless (and sometimes even brings unex- pected benefits; quite a few Jewish couples have met via the Internet). Some chat rooms have investigators patrolling to weed out those who don't belong, because chat rooms are also places where a child predator can make conversation with a lonely or bored youngster. Just two weeks ago, Michigan police arrested two such pedophiles that had arranged "dates" with unsuspecting children they met in chat rooms. So what did the Schneider family do about the unwanted e-mail mes- sages? Help For Parents The following programs offer parents the option of blocking inappropri- ate Internet sites: www.webchaperone.com www.smartparent.com www.fimesup.com www.securitysoft.com Or, read these online safety books: A Parent's Guide to the Internet... And How to Protect Your Children in Cyberspace by Parry Aftab Internet Family Fun: A Parent's Guide to Safe Surfing by Bonnie Bruno 10 / 15 1999 They began by reporting the inci- dents to the family's Internet service provider. They learned the mes- sages were randomly coming off Web sites. Their response: no response. "By taking control and not responding directly to the sender, the mail has stopped," Schneider says. "As a parent, you can protect your children from receiving such harassing mail. Just as you teach your child rules about dealing with strangers outside the home, you must provide rules for communicat- ing online," he says. "A few basic rules are: Don't accept anything [including e-mail] from someone you do not know, and never make plans to meet someone you met over the Internet." He advises not to give out any personal information, such as name, address or tele- phone number. "And never enter an area, such as a chat room, that makes you feel uncomfortable," he adds. Today in the Schneider household, each family member has his or her own screen name set up with restrictions appropriate to their ages. They also have installed a fil- tering software program, which blocks objectionable sites, regulates what is coming into their computer and monitors time spent online. Schneider also suggests that par- ents every once in a while log into their child's screen name and see what is being downloaded. By opening the children's downloaded files, you can see what sites have been visited in the last 30 days; by logging in on their screen name, you can see what messages have been received. "Today's parents must be confident that their children's use of the Inter- net is going to improve their educa- tion, not cause harm nor open a . child up to inappropriate material," says Mark Noble, branch manager of Eclipse Information Systems in Tips For Online Safety • Spend as much time as pos- sible with your child while he or she is online. • Discuss online safety rules with your child and post them by the computer. Remind children and teens not to give out personal infor- mation, such as home address, school name and telephone number. • Set reasonable computer time limits that are appropriate to .your children's ages. • Consider using a filtering software program that will help block Internet sites you do not want your children to see. • Report inappropriate materi- al sent to you to your Internet service provider and ask for an investigation as to where it came from Or report it to the CyberTipline at www.missingkids.com or call 1-800-843-5678. • Learn more about the Inter- net yourself so thai you can become as computer savvy as your child. Farmington Hills. "There are several effective tools for managing chil- dren's computer use and safety on the Internet, including www.cyberpatrol.com and www.netnanny.com . Your Internet service provider may also be able to provide a filtering program for you. "The majority of sites are perfectly safe," Noble says. "but teaching your child to make wise choices is one of the most important things a parent can do. It is also important for parents to educate themselves about the new technology our chil- dren have access to."