I Want The Job,
Or Think I Do
quotables
"There is something special about Jews. They have an instinctive
compassion for their neighbor."
Editorial Assistant
— Italian director Franco Zeffirelli, whose latest film "Tea With
Mussolini" is based on his childhood in Florence before and during
World War II.
W
"We knew him as someone who hates Jews. But he treated us
royally.
SY MANELLO
hile in a nostalgic mood the other day —
nostalgia" being the operative term when
\- one is daydreaming while at work — I recalled
some of the amusing results I read on student
attempts to complete resumes/cover letters.
Other than trying to convince young people
that certain questions were not to be put forth at
an interview (How much vacation do I get? How
many breaks a day are there? How often can I leave
early?), it was a struggle to get them to watch their
spelling. When they did not, I saw statements such
as these:
• I want to be a manger.
• I want a salary that commiserates with my experi-
ence.
• I can supply names for reverence.
Here are some samples from "mature" job seekers,
which were printed in the July 21, 1997, issue of
Fortune magazine:
• Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave.
• It's best for employers that I do not work with peo-
ple.
• Let's meet so you can "ooh" and "aah" over my
experience.
• Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details.
• I have an excellent track record although I am not a
horse.
• Please do not construe my 14 jobs as job-hopping; I
have never quit a job.
• Reason for leaving last job: They insisted that all
employees get to work by 8:45 a.m. every morning. I
could not work under those conditions.
• The company made me a scapegoat just like my
three previous employers.
• I was instrumental in ruining entire operation for a
Midwest chain store.
• I received a plague for Salesperson of the Year.
After chuckling, just note that these people are not
only going to be employed, but they will be helping
to run our society. Arrrrgh! II
"
)
3)
—Rabbi Moshe Unger, the Chasidic dean of a Chicago yeshiva, on
meeting with the Rev. Jesse Jackson, who assured him that he would try to
help secure freedom for 13 Jews imprisoned in Iran for espionage.
JARC
Merle and Shirley Harris
Children and
Family Division
Services for children with special
needs and their families.
"He made a whole lot more
money playing me than I
made playing me."
— Jan Schlichtmann, about
John Travolta, who earned $20
million playing the attorney in
`A Civil Action." Schlichtmann
represented eight families who
accused two corporations of pol-
luting their water.
Yiddish Limericks
There once was a restless young pup
Who'd drive his mom nuts when he'd sup.
He'd sample each faucet.
She'd snap, "Have you lost it?
Fardray zach dine aigeneh kup!"*
— Martha Jo Fleischmann
The U.S. budget surplus would be best spent to ...
expand Medicare
• cut taxes
• protect Social Security
increase defense spending
Vote on JN Online www.detroitjewishnews.com
Results from last week's poll (26 respondents)
Should the U.S. embassy in Israel be moved from
Tel Aviv to Jerusalem? Yes (88%) No (12%)
elit4 IRATE THE ENEMY , 61.1MINATE THE ENEMY!
-
VERO GOOD, NOW (-CDS _SA (
A SWEET LITTI-E GRANDMOTHER
HAS A SWEE-Z.1 MG PT PORING
SERVicES. WHAT
DA RN!
...atemelkt
Harris Division News:
*Make your own self crazy! (idiomatic)
GRAPLIEWZ .111endel
A606UE. USHERS (A)
O.K.
TRAINING, I'M GOING To ASK
some -rou6H oue-s- floms,567:51:EN
VP! WHAT 170 sYou Po IF SOME
KIP WON'T. STOP TALKING
DURING SERVICES.
BECAUSE
EVERY
CHILD
IS PART
OF OUR
COMMUNITY
M PROW?
OF W)U 6005
VARIETY INCLUSIVE
RECREATION INITIATIVE
provides para-professional aides
so children with special needs can
participate in inclusive recreation
activities, such as dance classes
and sports teams.
OR' is funded by a grant from
VARIETY – The Children's Charity
2N° ANNUAL
POOL PARTY
Games, moonwalk, and more!
Sunday, July 25
12 pm to 2 pm
Kahn JCC-West Bloomfield
Co-sponsored by JARC and JCC
PD you Po?
For more information,
call JARC at
248-352-5272
28366 Franklin Road
Southfield, MI 48034
jarc©speedlink.net
Detroit Jewish News
7/9
1999
5