One Size
Does Not
Fit All
For Openers
Good Intentions
Bear Funny Results
The
Virtual
Voter
RABBI BOB ALPER
Special to the Jewish News
I
t Was a defensive term back then, something one
Jew would chuckle to another after a non-Jew
made a silly error. Goyishe kop was the phrase. That's
literally, " gentile head." And meaning, "dumb
entile."
This was not a response to blatant hatred or
anti-Semitism; rather, it was a riposte to a benign
mistake, used when, say, a Catholic man assumed
that while bacon was forbidden to Jews, deviled
ham was OK. "Govishe kop!"
Jews are, of course, a complex people, with dif-
ferences of which even we insiders often lose track.
So it's not unusual when someone, with the very
best of intentions, makes incorrect assumptions
about us.
Years ago, I was called to officiate at the funeral of
an unaffiliated Jew. Not only was he unaffiliated, bur,
it turned out, at the funeral itself there were only two
Jews present: the deceased and yours truly. Yet it was
truly touching how his family and the gentile funeral
director tried to provide a proper Jewish burial. I
arrived to discover that not only did every male wear a
1?ippa (skullcap), but every person in the funeral home
— from the family, to the visitors, to the parking lot
attendants — wore kria ribbons, the black symbols of
mourning that are placed only upon the clothing of
spouses, parents, children and siblings of the deceased.
The above is true, I guarantee. The next one can
be verified, if you happen t6 spend a night at the
Hilton Hotel in Allentown, Pa. Apparently, the
management wanted to provide guests with ample
choices for worship. And so, the information book-
et placed in the hotel rooms lists under the Jewish
heading these three entries: "Congregation
Keneseth Israel," Reform. "Congregation Sons of
Israel," Conservative.
And the last one?
"Ukrainian Orthodox." 7
VOTE
Should federal law permit the
Ten Commandments to be posted
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........
Yiddish Limericks
* taste
** I wish it could be said about me!
— Martha Jo Fleischman
"It's almost like an informal Bible study. You don't see that a lot."
— Ann-Marie Maitland, one of several non-Jewish Long
Island Railroad passengers who listen to a daily
Talmud learning class led by about 25
Orthodox Jews on their morning commute to
Manhattan.
Candice Bergen
GRAPIIIIWZ
ROLES IN
SUPAISM?
(
"Howard, a Welshman who runs a
Japanese company, is getting an award
from a Jewish organization and which
is presented by an American shiksa.
Dayenu (Enough)! "
— Actress Candice Bergen, at a United
Jewish Appeal-Federation of New York
awards dinner honoring Howard Stringer,
CEO of Sony Corp. of America.
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Rabbi Bob Alper is a Vermont-based stand-up comic
and author.
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Detroit Jewish News
5