COMMUNITY VIEWS

When The Search Is The Answer

I

stared up at the wall, waiting for
an epiphany or moment of
truth to strike me from above.
Throngs of women walked past
me, their mouths open with awe, as I
waited.
Prayers seemed to rise from the
stones themselves, and still I waited.
People passed back and forth, and
back and forth again, but all I could
do was wait. Every religious stirring I
tried to arouse answered with a
resounding silence.
As I stood in front of what is con-
sidered the holiest site on earth for the
Jewish people, my mind filled with
thoughts that, if not considered hereti-
cal, are definitely not thoughts that
Judaism is built upon. Not only did
my uninspired state lead me to doubt
my belief in God, I slowly questioned
my identity as a Jew. How, I asked
myself, could I remain Jewish if I was
not sure that God, who led us out of
Egypt, really existed? How could I
legitimately remain loyal to the Jewish
people if I was not loyal to the God of

Jenny Soble, a Bloomfield Hills Lahser
High School senior, spent five weeks this
summer exploring Jewish life in Israel as
a Bronfman Youth Fellow, sponsored by
Edgar M Bronfman, president of the
World Jewish Congress. She a member
of the Temple Beth El Young People's
Society. She tutors students preparing for
their bar or bat mitzvah and enjoys
dance, painting, international diploma-
cy and water sports. She participated in
the 1996 Teen Mission to Israel.

like the National Federation of Temple
Abraham, Isaac and Jacob? More than
Youth and the Association of
that, how long would I allow myself
Reformed Zionists of America, I was
to "ride the fence" before I became so
able to distract myself from what
hypocritical that I could no longer
would prove to be a much more perti-
take my own principles seriously?
nent aim. My voluntary lack of expo-
I had come here on a Bronfman
sure to what was outside the tradition-
Youth Fellowship to Israel with the
al "Reform realm" resulted
intention of strengthening not
in my successful avoidance
only my Jewish identity, but
of the one issue I needed to
also my belief in God. Seven-
address.
teen years of holidays and ser-
The Bronfman Youth
vices had led me in a meander-
Fellowships would prove to
ing path of observance, one
be the end of all of that. My
that could be tied closely to
first reaction to my accep-
my congregation on the second
tance on BYFI was panic. I
Friday of the month, but was
had no idea how I would be
likely nonexistent on the third.
JENNY SOBLE able to defend my practice
Some of my inconsistency
Spe cial to
when confronted by Jews
could be blamed on synagogue
The
Je wish News whom I assumed' to be
politics: having 10 rabbis in six
more knowledgeable and
years does not a religious
devout than I could ever
atmosphere make. However,
imagine. I began studying all I could
lack of conviction is the decided rea-
about Reform Judaism, and to couple
son for my lack of practice.
it with my knowledge of Jewish histo-
I had a strong sense of myself as a
ry and tradition. What resulted was a
Jewish individual; Judaism was often the
fairly informed teen-ager, who
determining factor in my day-to-day
believed next to nothing of what she
decisions. My problem was not who I
knew, but was not ready to admit it.
was or what I belonged to, but rather
Bronfman became the catalyst to
why. I decidedly belonged to a people
what I had avoided for years — a seri-
based firmly in a belief in God, but it
ous questioning of my beliefs. I had
was a belief I was not sure I shared.
convinced myself that rather than
Fortunately for my sake, I was
deeply immersed in a denomination of prompting a move away from what I
saw to be a proper belief in God,
Judaism that can easily focus on tem-
BYFI would lead to some kind of
poral issues, such as social justice, tra-
enlightenment. I was positive that I
dition and history. Reform Judaism
would leave Israel surer of my Judaism
allowed me to skirt my wavering
than ever, and would be fully
belief, while providing a sense of reli-
equipped to deftly dodge any bumps I
gious stability. Through organizations

might find in the religious road. I
could not have foreseen the com-
pounding of my questions or the con-
fusion that would ensue.
My first clue that a resolution
would not come easily was a piece of a
conversation that I overheard during a
shiur. "You don't have to believe in
God, you only need to fulfill the
mitzvot." How on earth can that be? I
had always fervently believed that, no
matter what my personal convictions,
a belief in God was crucial to being a
Jew. I was fully aware that it is not
commanded to believe in God, howev-
er I would never have expected to hear
an Orthodox rabbi dismiss belief in
favor of action. Stereotypes were
ripped to shreds as I watched atheists
return to tradition, and practicing Jews
declare that, pragmatically, Judaism
was not sound. As I saw the gamut of
beliefs and opinions within this obvi-
ously diverse group, I began to wonder
how each could be legitimate.
Respect for each opinion was easy
to establish, but how was I to decide
which direction was right for me? Was
it even possible for there to be more
than one right direction? And more
important to me, then, when was I
ever going to find out?
Religious discussions and searches
for absolute truth were thankfully
intertwined with amazing and unfor-
gettable experiences. Debates about
the validity of interpretation were
mixed with star-filled hikes in the
Negev, memorable run-ins with the
SEARCH on page 34

LETTERS

I have found that it helps if you recog-
nize that being Jewish means being
part of an ethnic group, the Jewish
people. Within that ethnic group are
many philosophies, lifestyles, opinions
and cultures. There have always been a
variety of religious beliefs and move-
ments among Jews. Although Ortho-
dox or rabbinical Judaism, and the
Conservative and Reform versions, are
popular today, they aren't the only
form of Judaism and never have been.
If we are to survive as a people, we
have a better chance by being open to
many opinions and not restricting our-
selves to one ideology or variety of
Judaism. We need to respect the philoso-
phies of others and open the door to all
those who want to identify with the his-
tory and future of the Jewish people.
Michael Egren
Bloomfield Hills

11/20

1998

30 Detroit Jewish News

Jerusalem
Undivided

Thomas Cahill's book The Gifts of the
Jews confirms the importance of
Jerusalem remaining in Jewish hands.
Jerusalem, as the seat of the
covenant whose message upended the
thinking of humankind, is the sym-
bolic representation of a major revolu-
tion. The concepts of the covenant,
which embraced monotheism, the Ten
Commandments and focused on jus-
tice and compassion, Cahill hypothe-
sizes, moved the inhabitants of Earth
toward making our world a better
place, not just for a select few, but for
all its inhabitants.
By focusing the human thinking
process on the possibilities of change,
as well as the idea that good deeds
were the pathway to the good life,

humans once only dreamt about.
democracy was propelled onto human
We memorialize sites of major revo-
consciousness. The messages of that
lutions. This revolution, more impor-
covenant are as important today as
tant than most, needs to be memorial-
they were in David's time.
ized similarly in Jerusalem. Jews need
Jews seem not to understand that
to be the overseers. Jewry all over the
the covenant, which was tied to
world needs to unite to keep
psalms and prophecy and interpreta-
Jerusalem in Jewish hands so the mes-
tion by priests and rabbis to emerge as
sages of the covenant continue to res-
the Hebrew Bible, is perhaps the most
onate.
defining piece of lit-
Strong forces are trying
erature of all times.
once again to co-opt
In emphasizing man ' s
Israel's right to this city. It
responsibility to his
becomes incumbent upon
fellow man, to God
all who treasure the "gifts
and hope for a better
of the Jews" to join the
tomorrow, this extra-
fight to keep Jerusalem an
ordinary literary
undivided city and the rec-
accomplishment has
ognized
capital of the State
resonated throughout
of Israel. One way this can
Western civilization
be done is to beseech the
to bring about
administration to carry out
changes of which
President Bill Clinton