Although it was the first time she
lived with a guy, Lisa wasn't nervous.
"There was another woman," she said.
"It was like 'Three's Company.' My
parents liked him. He was a lot older,
safe. No attraction — good-looking,
though."
Her Israeli male roommate "could-
n't do enough for us," she said.
He helped her schlep furniture
when she moved in, fixed things
around the house and loved to cook.
"When I first moved up here, I did-
n't know anyone," Lisa said.
Elly was someone to hang out
with, and through whom she made
friends. "I shared a bathroom with
the girl, he had the master bedroom
and bath," she said. "He cleaned the
apartment," dispelling the myth that
men are sloppier roommates than
women.
But on the downside, "some
people had weird reactions, thought
it was strange," she said. "We all
had our own phone lines, which
was a big plus. It would have been
awkward if I shared a phone with a
guy. Whose voice would be on the
machine?"
Michelle Cohen and Mark Jeross
have a similar story. Growing up
together in Oak Park, Michelle and
Mark almost feel like brother and
sister. So it was a natural move for
them to share an apartment.
"Essentially, Michelle and I have
known each other since kinder-
garten," Mark said. "We have a
unch of mutual friends, through
Hebrew school at B'nai Moshe, ele-
mentary school. We kept in touch.
I went to Michigan, she went to
State, we were both living at home
at the same time after we graduated,
and looking to move out at the same
time, and we thought, 'Why not?' I've
known her so long, it was kind of like
moving in with a sibling."
For four years, they shared an
apartment at Muirwood Square in
Farmington Hills, until they decided
to purchase a condo together in late
1996.
In the first apartment, Michelle had
the master suite. Mark kept his own
half of the apartment, "so it wasn't like
you were going to be running around,
whereas with guys, you could just
walk around in boxers," he said.
"You are a little cautious when you
first move in together because it's a lit-
tle bit of an uncomfortable feeling.
You make sure you're not overstepping
any privacy bounds, whereas living
with a guy, you can be a little more
lax. It's just like living with a sibling at
this point."
But while they are friends, and
good friends at that, Mark and
Michelle maintain a business-like co-
ownership. The purchase agreement
for their Farmington Hills condo sets
out a legal partnership relationship, in
case one wants to move out before the
other.
Michelle insists, "It doesn't matter
if your roommate is a man or a
woman, you have to be considerate
and compatible. Living with Mark,
that's always been the biggest factor —
we are very courteous and conscious
of each other's space. Whether you're
living with a guy or a girl, I think
that's the most important thing in
order for it to be successful."
take on based on your gender, things
that he can more easily do," she said.
For example, Mark helps Michelle lift
heavier items, and she, in turn, does
the things he doesn't love to do.
Like taking out the trash. "Mark
doesn't like taking the trash out, and I
don't care because I know that while I
may take the trash out more, there are
things that he does that I either don't
want to do or maybe it's more chal-
lenging for me to do around the
house."
Mark balks at generalizing based on
gender.
"I think when you start asking like
that, you kind of get into stereotypes.
I think Michelle would tell you I'm
probably more of a neat freak about
things than she is, not that we're slobs,
b
but we both like our house clean, we
Still, Michelle admits there are
both like to keep it neat. I guess it
some things that just won't bother a
depends on the people. I
guy but will infuriate a
wouldn't
generalize because I
woman. "There are certain
Cohen and
know
some
women who are
things that women tend to
Jeross have been
slobs
and
some
guys who are
get, maybe, a little agitated
friends since
slobs.
I
don't
think
one trait
about, whereas a man's person-
kindergarten.
is specific to a female as
ality, in general terms, would
opposed to a male. It just
be more lax," she said.
depends on the person and how you
Between herself and Mark, it's
were brought up."
always been a balance. "Things I
Yet they agree that having a live-in
would get upset about, he just lets it
confidant of the opposite sex is a big
ride off his back. There are certain
help when it comes to dating. Says
things that he'll take care of around
Michelle, "There are a lot of times
the house that I either don't care to
when it's helpful to bounce ideas off a
learn how to do or I'm afraid of."
friend of the opposite. sex. Mark has
Like killing spiders. "Mark will kill
always been a very good listener. He
them for me. The other women that
may not give the answer that I want
I've lived with before were equally ter-
all the time, but he's always on the
rified to kill them," said Michelle,
mark," kind of like a live-in Dear
chuckling.
Abby.
"There are certain roles that you
Mark iikes having Michelle's take
on relationships, too. "It's nice to have
the opposite sex's perspective on things -
in the dating scene. Should I do this,
what would be the repercussions, do
you call someone back the next day?"
On the other hand, a budding
romantic relationship can feel the
strain of an opposite-sex living situa-
tion. "People think it's very strange,
still, even though more and more
women and men are living together,"
says Michelle. "When I've dated peo-
ple, they've kind of questioned it:
`Well are you sure you're not dating
him?' You get tired of explaining your-
self after a while. When you've known
someone practically your whole life,
hey, guess what, we haven't dated this
far, we're not going to start now.
That's probably the only con, the
questioning or criticism you get
when you're first starting to date
someone."
Mark agrees. "You get a differ-
ent reaction when you're dating
somebody.
"Women often ask, inquisitive-
ly, 'You live with a girl? Well how
come you guys aren't dating?' All
of our core group of friends
knew. I don't think anyone's sur-
prised that we've been able to get
along for the last five years. We're
relatively similar personality-wise
— truth-be-told, I hardly ever see
her anyways because our sched-
ules are perfectly in sync: oppo-
site.''
Co-habiting co-eds seems to be
a more popular arrangement in
bigger cities, where housing costs
rise exponentially compared to
the Motor City.
Lisa Barson has friends in other
cities who live with opposite-sex
roommates more frequently than the
people she knows here. "Housing is
cheaper here. It's not uncommon for
single people to live alone," she said.
"Sometimes, it's easier to share with
a person of the opposite sex. There are
problems with female roommates —
guys are more laid-back about things
like cleaning, cooking, bills."
Neither Mark nor Michelle know
many people in the same living situa-
tion.
"Most of my friends are married
or on their own," Mark said. "I can't
think of anybody else I know who's
living with a person of the opposite
sex. I don't think there's any draw-
backs at all. Michelle and I have a
great relationship. We're great
friends." 111
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