Come Celebrate Israel's 50th Year With Us:
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/Health
growing older themselves," said
Schwartz. "Young mothers are car-
ing for parents with catastrophic ill-
ness. And we have people in their
80s taking care of 100-year-old par-
ents and having the added responsi-
bility as grandparents."
"The sandwich generation is a
moving target. You don't know
which generation it's going to hit
next," said Schwartz, "And when it
comes at an unexpected time, the
best-made plans fall through, espe-
cially when it's from a generation
you didn't expect."
It's not that Dolores Greenspan
didn't expect to help her mother-in-
law, Reva Greenspan; it's more that
she didn't understand how much
time it might take and how that
would affect her other family
responsibilities.
She spends a lot of time each
week at the Fountains of Franklin
senior citizens residence in South-
field cleaning, doing laundry, shop-
ping, paying bills, running errands
and driving 84-year-old Reva to
doctors' appointments.
"I've been in the family since I
was 16. She feels like I'm her daugh-
ter. I'm the one she always relies
on," said Dolores. "I do it out of
love, out of loyalty.
"Older people need to be in a
senior citizens' environment so they
can make friends and be with other
people. But I think it's important
that they also have a family connec-
tion. You can't just put somebody in
a place and forget about it. You just
don't stop worrying about a parent."
The real stress — symptoms
include fatigue, sleep-deprivation
and a short temper — sets in when
65-year-old Dolores must further
divide her time between three adult
working children and five grandchil-
dren, who are scattered from Birm-
ingham to West Bloomfield. To help
relieve the stress, she exercises, eats
out often, vacations as much as she
can and remains active at Congrega-
tion B'nai Moshe.
When she finds herself being
pulled in different directions at the
same time, Dolores recruits help
from her husband, Harold, and her
sister-in-law, Rita Greenspan.
"There are times I feel very guilty
when I have to say no," Dolores
said. "But sometimes I come back
from my mother-in-law's feeling
mentally drained. Sometimes I wish
there was someone to take care of
me."
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Don't try to do it all yourself,
advises JFS' Schwartz. "A family
needs to act as a team and all need
to share a piece of the responsibility
on both ends, from visits to nursing
homes to visits to Little League
fields," she said.
"The reward is the satisfaction of
just being part of a family and feel-
ing connected and appreciated.
We're modeling for our children
how to take care of their parents."
El
Managing Tips
* Recruit family members to share
responsibilities and work as care-giv-
ing team.
* Set limits. You can't expect to
be all things to all people all the
time.
* Eat right and get plenty of
sleep. Your own health and well
being must be a priority.
* Exercise regularly. It's a great
stress reliever.
* Make time each day for relax-
ation.
* Take a short trip or mini vaca-
tion as often as you can.
* Enlist the help of supportive
services, even if only occasionally.
Just A Call Away
The following support services for
older adults are available through
Jewish Family Service: (248) 559-
1500.
* Kosher Meals on Wheels serves
two daily meals to homebound indi-
viduals in conjunction with the Fed-
eration Apartments and the Nation-
al Council of Jewish Women.
* Home Care Services provides a
variety of homemaking and personal
care services to fit individual situa-
tions.
* Transportation Services furnish-
es rides to medical appointments.
*The Margot and Warren Coville
Assisted Living Apartments at North
Park Place in Southfield provides
assisted living and geriatric care for
groups of three elderly individuals.
Additional support services can be
utilized as needed.
* Counseling services are avail-
able for individuals, families and
ongoing treatment groups.
* The Elderlink referral line, used
by 1,049 callers during its first three
months of service, offers informa-
tion on older adult services in the
community: (248) 559-3300.