Come Celebrate Israel's 50th Year With Us: No One Does It Better: /Health growing older themselves," said Schwartz. "Young mothers are car- ing for parents with catastrophic ill- ness. And we have people in their 80s taking care of 100-year-old par- ents and having the added responsi- bility as grandparents." "The sandwich generation is a moving target. You don't know which generation it's going to hit next," said Schwartz, "And when it comes at an unexpected time, the best-made plans fall through, espe- cially when it's from a generation you didn't expect." It's not that Dolores Greenspan didn't expect to help her mother-in- law, Reva Greenspan; it's more that she didn't understand how much time it might take and how that would affect her other family responsibilities. She spends a lot of time each week at the Fountains of Franklin senior citizens residence in South- field cleaning, doing laundry, shop- ping, paying bills, running errands and driving 84-year-old Reva to doctors' appointments. "I've been in the family since I was 16. She feels like I'm her daugh- ter. I'm the one she always relies on," said Dolores. "I do it out of love, out of loyalty. "Older people need to be in a senior citizens' environment so they can make friends and be with other people. But I think it's important that they also have a family connec- tion. You can't just put somebody in a place and forget about it. You just don't stop worrying about a parent." The real stress — symptoms include fatigue, sleep-deprivation and a short temper — sets in when 65-year-old Dolores must further divide her time between three adult working children and five grandchil- dren, who are scattered from Birm- ingham to West Bloomfield. To help relieve the stress, she exercises, eats out often, vacations as much as she can and remains active at Congrega- tion B'nai Moshe. When she finds herself being pulled in different directions at the same time, Dolores recruits help from her husband, Harold, and her sister-in-law, Rita Greenspan. "There are times I feel very guilty when I have to say no," Dolores said. "But sometimes I come back from my mother-in-law's feeling mentally drained. Sometimes I wish there was someone to take care of me." 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SOITITIFIELD (248) 559-7818 1$ LINCOLN Mercury GIL PRATT Leasing Manager Your West Side Specialist (810) 445-6000 Gratiot Ave. at 12 Mile Road Roseville, MI 48066 Fax (810) 771-7340 4 Don't try to do it all yourself, advises JFS' Schwartz. "A family needs to act as a team and all need to share a piece of the responsibility on both ends, from visits to nursing homes to visits to Little League fields," she said. "The reward is the satisfaction of just being part of a family and feel- ing connected and appreciated. We're modeling for our children how to take care of their parents." El Managing Tips * Recruit family members to share responsibilities and work as care-giv- ing team. * Set limits. You can't expect to be all things to all people all the time. * Eat right and get plenty of sleep. Your own health and well being must be a priority. * Exercise regularly. It's a great stress reliever. * Make time each day for relax- ation. * Take a short trip or mini vaca- tion as often as you can. * Enlist the help of supportive services, even if only occasionally. Just A Call Away The following support services for older adults are available through Jewish Family Service: (248) 559- 1500. * Kosher Meals on Wheels serves two daily meals to homebound indi- viduals in conjunction with the Fed- eration Apartments and the Nation- al Council of Jewish Women. * Home Care Services provides a variety of homemaking and personal care services to fit individual situa- tions. * Transportation Services furnish- es rides to medical appointments. *The Margot and Warren Coville Assisted Living Apartments at North Park Place in Southfield provides assisted living and geriatric care for groups of three elderly individuals. Additional support services can be utilized as needed. * Counseling services are avail- able for individuals, families and ongoing treatment groups. * The Elderlink referral line, used by 1,049 callers during its first three months of service, offers informa- tion on older adult services in the community: (248) 559-3300.