Summer Phun from
HELPING JEWISH
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the yachtsman
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Your source for summer phun wear
here are many rules in
my house that apply
both to parents and
children.
For starters, the phrase "Get
me a drink" simply doesn't exist,
though "May I have a drink,
please?" is quite popular. My
children know better than to
throw their clothes on the floor
and leave them there. All I
would have to do is point to the
offending scene and Yitz and Ad-
ilia would both know to say,
"There's no maid service in this
house."
My husband, Phillip, and I
also have rules for ourselves, the
most important of which is that
we don't hit our children.
I am interested to see the way
other moms and dads discipline.
Without a doubt, it is the most
challenging aspect of parent-
hood. I'm a big advocate of
choice, as in, "You have the
choice to stop tearing the couch
apart with your teeth or go to
your room and take a time out,
until you are ready to behave
like a human being." Both my
husband and I often employ the
old, "1-2-3" method: "I'm going
to count to three, by which time
I expect you to turn the TV off.
1...2..." Of course, Phil and I
both admit we have no idea
what we're going to do when
we've reached three and the
children still haven't followed
our instructions.
Every now and then I raise
my voice, though I hate myself
when I do. This usually happens
around 9:30 p.m. at the end of a
long, difficult day. The children
are in bed but still not asleep and
they're asking for the 14th time
in the past half hour, "Can I
have a drink?" This is when I'm
most likely to yell, "Go to bed
T
now! I mean it!"
Often, though, I confess I'll
just give in and let Yitzhak come
lie on the couch in the den,
where I'm reading a chapter in
some parenting book on "Mak-
ing your child's bedtime stress
free." Or I'll go tell yet another
story to Adina. This is when I fi-
nally reach the realization that it
really doesn't matter when my
children go to sleep; they'll sur-
vive, and I will, somehow, man-
age to get everything done.
I am opposed for many rea-
sons to spanking (which is, next
to "Let them cry it out," my
most unfavorite method of disci-
pline). Primary among these is
that I don't believe in intention-
ally hurting my children. Chil-
dren don't need to be smacked
when they do something
wrong. They need to be guided.
"I know you want that lol-
lipop, but your body needs
healthy food now," I'll say, or, "If
you leave your room a mess,
you won't be able to find the
clothes you want when it's time
to get dressed in the morning."
If they still refuse to cooper-
ate, then they're making the
choice to take a time out, to
think about their behavior and
pull themselves together.
When I feel my anger rising, I
take a deep breath and remem-
ber a quote from author W.M.
Thackeray, which invariably
makes me recall how compas-
sionate I must be, how forgiving
and how patient: "Mother is the
name for God on the lips and in
the hearts of little children."
Until next month,
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