Summer Phun from HELPING JEWISH FAMILIES GROW r the yachtsman PUBLISHED BY THE DETROIT JEWISH NEWS Publisher Arthur Horwitz Editor Elizabeth Applebaum M Directors Gayle Baldi, Debbie Schultz Contributing Writers Lynne Konstantin Mark Lichterman Diane Schaefer Scott Warheit Copy Editor Phillip Applebaum Photographer Daniel Lippitt Business Manager Marianne B. Taylor Production Manager Curtis DeLoye AssiStant Production Manager Gayle Baldi Production Cathy Ciccone, Marla Cooper, Ralph Orme Accounting Linda McCarthy, Brigette Thompson Office Staff Heather Bondy, Chris Eberle, Tobie Kuppe, Sue Maniloff, Susie Sherman Fulfillment Supervisor Paula Smith Circulation Kevin Chmielewski Marketing Manager !liana P. Greenberg Marketing Coordinator Sandy Rockind Advertising Director Shari Cimino Sales Assistant Diana Kathryn Wolfe Senior Account Executive Danny Raskin Account Executives Heidi Brandemihl, Ellen Finn, Kathy Johnson, Betsy Leemon, Patricia McMurray, Rick Nessel, Michelle Weyh, Lisa Wylin Advertising Coordinator Anne E. Ward Graphic Designer Todd Skiba Inside Sales Dharlene Norris Classified Sales Karin Indig PUBLISHED BY: The Jewish News Group of Waterspout Communications LLC Founder Charles A. Buerger Executive Vice Presidents Andrew A. Buerger, Arthur M. Horwitz, Sylvia Boyko Stafford Corporate Art Director Robyn Katz Jewish News Editor Phil Jacobs Display Ad Deadline: Monday, 4:30 pm Offices: 27676 Franklin Road Southfield, MI 48034 810-354-6060 General 810-354-6060 Display Advertising 810-354-6069 Editorial Fax 810-354-1210 Advertising Fax 810-354-6620 Circulation THE APPLETREE (USPS 275-520) IS PUBLISHED MONTHLY AS A SUPPLEMENT TO THE JEWISH NEWS AT 27676 FRANKLIN ROAD, SOUTHFIELD, MICHIGAN.PERIODICAL POSTAGE PAID AT SOUTH- FIELD, MICHIGAN AND ADDITIONAL MAILING OFFICES. POSTMAS- TER: SEND CHANGES TO: DETROIT JEWISH NEWS, 27676 FRANKLIN ROAD, SOUTHFIELD, MICHIGAN 48034. ©COPYRIGHT 1997 DETROIT JEWISH NEWS Your source for summer phun wear here are many rules in my house that apply both to parents and children. For starters, the phrase "Get me a drink" simply doesn't exist, though "May I have a drink, please?" is quite popular. My children know better than to throw their clothes on the floor and leave them there. All I would have to do is point to the offending scene and Yitz and Ad- ilia would both know to say, "There's no maid service in this house." My husband, Phillip, and I also have rules for ourselves, the most important of which is that we don't hit our children. I am interested to see the way other moms and dads discipline. Without a doubt, it is the most challenging aspect of parent- hood. I'm a big advocate of choice, as in, "You have the choice to stop tearing the couch apart with your teeth or go to your room and take a time out, until you are ready to behave like a human being." Both my husband and I often employ the old, "1-2-3" method: "I'm going to count to three, by which time I expect you to turn the TV off. 1...2..." Of course, Phil and I both admit we have no idea what we're going to do when we've reached three and the children still haven't followed our instructions. Every now and then I raise my voice, though I hate myself when I do. This usually happens around 9:30 p.m. at the end of a long, difficult day. The children are in bed but still not asleep and they're asking for the 14th time in the past half hour, "Can I have a drink?" This is when I'm most likely to yell, "Go to bed T now! I mean it!" Often, though, I confess I'll just give in and let Yitzhak come lie on the couch in the den, where I'm reading a chapter in some parenting book on "Mak- ing your child's bedtime stress free." Or I'll go tell yet another story to Adina. This is when I fi- nally reach the realization that it really doesn't matter when my children go to sleep; they'll sur- vive, and I will, somehow, man- age to get everything done. I am opposed for many rea- sons to spanking (which is, next to "Let them cry it out," my most unfavorite method of disci- pline). Primary among these is that I don't believe in intention- ally hurting my children. Chil- dren don't need to be smacked when they do something wrong. They need to be guided. "I know you want that lol- lipop, but your body needs healthy food now," I'll say, or, "If you leave your room a mess, you won't be able to find the clothes you want when it's time to get dressed in the morning." If they still refuse to cooper- ate, then they're making the choice to take a time out, to think about their behavior and pull themselves together. When I feel my anger rising, I take a deep breath and remem- ber a quote from author W.M. Thackeray, which invariably makes me recall how compas- sionate I must be, how forgiving and how patient: "Mother is the name for God on the lips and in the hearts of little children." Until next month, Patagonia® & EX OFFICIO ® 47-- - - - EX OFFICIO ) INTERNATIONALADVERRETRAVEI Ttaveling Convertible Pant (shown as shorts w/ pant legs rolled up in back Packstrapi r') the yachtsman Michigan's largest selection of Patagonia apparel 4316 N. 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