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Purim: A Love Story

TED ROBERTS SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

I

didn't get very far the first time
I told my granddaughter the
story of Purim. She was 9 —
the perfect age. What 9-year-
old wouldn't be fascinated by a
story of love and deliverance, I
thought.
And wasn't I an expert on
preadolescent females? Had I not
guided a daughter, the mother of
this wonderfully attentive child,
through the white-water rapids
of adolescence — and even be-
yond? So in the telling of the
Purim megillah, I planned to ac-
cent the love theme. You know,
Esther and the king. I was cast-
ing Ahasuerus as a sultry Tom
Cruise type who suddenly lost in-
terest in his shapely Sushanite
harem.
I had carefully set the stage.
Even though I knew the love an-
gle would grab my granddaugh-
ter's interest, I was also aware
that her attention span was mea-
sured in nanoseconds. Therefore,
I banished her mother to the lo-
cal movie house which was fea-
turing Basic Instinct, a story
nowhere near as spellbinding as
my version of Purim — subtitled
'When Esther met Ahasuerus."
So there we were at the kitchen
table. Me and Sarah — the
granddaughter — with a bowl of
chocolate chip ice cream (a little
insurance to keep her at the
table). And unknowingly to my
audience of one, I had turned off
that ultimate distraction — the
telephone, a tactic I used on her
mother 20 years ago to ensure her
attention.
"So when Vashti wouldn't re-
spond to the king's request, the
king got very angry," I began.
"Why?" responded this inquis-
itive 9-year-old, with a spoonful
of ice cream halfway to her
mouth. "Mama doesn't come
when you call her."
I explained that times have
changed. And that Queen Vashti
was a rebel before her time and
that 9-year-old modernists were
lucky to live in an era when
grandparents told stories and
dished out chocolate chip ice
cream. She paused to think about
that. Taking advantage of the si-
lence, I continued.
"So the word went out that
Vashti had been laid off, so to
speak, and the king was looking
for new companionship." And
without interruption, I got to the
part where Esther moves into the
royal digs.
"Wait a minute, just a minute,"
says the social critic and choco-
late chip ice cream fancier. "Are
they married?"

Ted Roberts is a freelance writer
from Huntsville, Ala.

"Well, no. Maybe not. I'm not
so sure."
"Then why would a nice Jew-
ish girl move in with him? It's not
1965, you know."
"Lemme explain," I hollered.
"Nobody's moving in with any-
body." (You think I want the plot
of this biblical tale thrown in my
face 10 years from now?) "The
castle's kinda like a huge apart-
ment complex. She just moves in
so if she and the king wanta have
a meal together or go to a royal
hop, it's convenient."

"But they're not
married, so how can
she be queen?"

Finally I get to the part — big
drum roll here — where young,
sultry King Ahasuerus sets a
golden crown on the alabaster
brow of Esther. Here the grand-
daughter revolts again.
"But they're not married, so
how can she be queen? And be-
sides that," she goes on, "I don't
think he's Jewish."
Well, this is difficult. I seem to
be impaled on the horns of a
dilemma by the talmudic mind of
this exceptional 9-year-old grand-
daughter. I certainly don't want
to promulgate the concept of liv-
ing in the castle — wearing the
queen's crown and performing all
those queenly duties without a
sturdy, respectable marriage un-
der a chuppah — followed by a
nice delicatessen reception.
On the other hand, the king —
a decent sort even though he had
a brief ethical lapse and signed a
proclamation OKing the de-
struction of a couple of neighbor-
ing states — seems to be as pagan
as a big rock. So how can he and
Esther stand together under a
chuppah, the blue sky above or
the castle chandelier?
After all, eight years hence, I
don't want the megillah of Esther
entered into evidence as defense
of intermarriage. They're either
illegally cohabitating in the cas-
tle, or Esther has strayed from
her tribal roots.
"They're real good friends," I
counter. "Now let's read about
Isaac and Rebecca." (It sure beats
explaining David and Bathshe-
ba, I think.) El

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