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DATI
THE JEWISH NEWS
pacity with me, and that any rab-
The second violated principle
bi who would, might even be is derech eretz, common, human
"beaten up."
decency. Proper behavior
So, my congregants were Find ing a that takes into consideration
brokenhearted because they mee ting basic human fairness — is
of the
wanted representation from
equal to the entire Torah.
mi nds
their shul, and the bride's
Finally, my speaking un-
family members were angry
der the chuppah has no sig-
that the joy of the simchah had nificance under Halachah, or
been diminished, an outcome that Jewish law. I would not be writ-
does not conform with any Jew- ing the ketubah (marriage con-
ish value of which I am aware.
tract) or signing it as an ayd
This behavior reflects the on- (witness). I would not be the
going Orthodox attacks against mesader kiddushin, responsible
Conservative and Reform rabbis for the actual betrothal. I would
in America and Israel. Legitimate have removed myself from any
differences have always existed aspect of the wedding that might
in our tradition, those between compromise the "integrity" of
the schools of Shammai and Hil- these rabbis' beliefs. I would have
lel being only the most well- — and in other circumstances
known of many examples; the have — done that to avoid any
unnecessary turmoil for the wed-
ding parties.
But to deny a rabbi the right
to speak is an act of sheer mal-
ice. It is malignant to deny a
family representation from its
own synagogue, when such rep-
resentation would not interfere
with what these rabbis consider
Jewish law. Their actions vio-
lated the prohibition of sinat hi-
nam (causeless hatred), which,
may I remind these sages, is
what brought down the Second
current attacks represent a ma- Temple.
licious exercise in power, a
At a time when Jewish life is
defamation of the tradition the being attacked, when Jewish peo-
Orthodox so often claim to be plehood is savaged by ignorance
"Torah true."
and indifference, to have our di-
These Orthodox rabbis also verse communities turn on one
have violated three cardinal rules another, forcing families to make
of Jewish law.
choices that are destructive to the
The first is shaming people in general unity of the Jewish peo-
public: Those who refused my ple, is the worst sin I can imag-
presence under the chuppah hu- ine.
miliated the families who asked
I can no longer hold back my
me to participate. Shaming peo- contempt for such behavior and
ple in public is tantamount to my criticism of the interpretation
murder. Hiding behind "Torah of such "Torah law." This isn't
law," questionable in its inter- "Torah law." It is an excuse for
pretation and application, is no bad behavior, bad manners, dis-
excuse.
torted values and worse. ❑
The current attacks
are a defamation of
the tradition the
Orthodox so often
claim to be "Torah
true."