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Tackling Traditional
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THE JEWISH NEWS
bout a dozen years ago,
while having coffee with
a friend from college, "Pa-
tricia" suddenly blurted
out how a man wearing a black
leather kippah had come into
the art gallery where she
worked, instantly conjuring feel-
ings of rage within her.
Patricia was a staunch Zion-
ist, a product of the Hoshomer
Hatzair movement. But she nev-
er learned any reason to respect
traditional Judaism. Its very ex-
istence offended her. Patricia's
anger was kindled by a kippah
worn by a stranger: the kippah
as a symbol of Orthodoxy's pa-
triarchal, anti-feminist philoso-
phy.
Back then, I, too, tended
to steer clear of Jews wearing
some type of religious "uniform":
a wig, kippah or tzitzit dangling
down trouser legs. While I
never shared Patricia's vehe-
mence, I had to admit to feelings
of antagonism toward these
keepers of the flame. Deep
down, I believed they were right
to live according to Jewish law,
but I was afraid to explore their
lives too closely and risk my self-
satisfied notions of what Ju-
daism was all about. I chose to
remain distant.
I struggled with Orthodoxy
during a long courtship with my
husband-to-be, who had decid-
ed that Torah observance was
essential to his life. Slowly, ex-
posure to traditional Jewish
teachings began to chip away at
my psychological armor. But
here's the irony: while many of
my secular Jewish friends and
family members made remarks
that served to push me away
from my future husband and the
life he envisioned for us, my non-
Jewish friends encouraged me
toward traditionalism.
During graduate school in
Chicago, I befriended .a perky,
blond Notre Dame alumna who
never missed Sunday Mass. I
shared my feelings of ambiva-
lence about religious observance
with her.
"I think Judaism is a great
religion," Kathy said. "If I
weren't Catholic, I would defi-
nitely want to be Jewish." Her
respect — even from a distance
— taught me a thing or two
about preconceived notions.
Kathy also was friendly with a
Jewish student who wore his
atheism like a badge of honor.
Once, during a heated discus-
sion about the existence of God,
Judy R. Gruen is a writer living
in Venice, Calif
this walking definition of arro-
gance challenged the Almighty
to reveal Himself by performing
some minor miracle, such as a
thunderclap.
These portraits may seem ex-
treme, but all too often, non-ob-
servant Jews denigrate their
own religion based on little, if
any, real knowledge of what
Jewish tradition is all about,
This is even more likely with
Jews who have had minimal re-
ligious education. A little bit of
knowledge can be a dangerous
thing.
It's easy to parrot cliches
about Judaism's anti-woman
bias and other supposed in-
equities. It's a lot harder to at-
tend classes and learn from
traditional and authentic trans-
mitters of our heritage.
Secular Jews who
are biased against
Jewish
traditionalism
should think twice
before making a
caustic comment.
Another Catholic friend also
became an inadvertent ally in
my acceptance of Torah values.
We both worked in a Jewish or-
ganization, but her respect for
Judaism contrasted starkly with
the anti-Orthodox remarks I of-
ten heard from Jewish co-work-
ers.
In fairness, I can recall one
Jewish friend who encouraged
me. She is a rabbi, ordained by
the Reform movement, and I am
grateful to this day for her in-
tellectual honesty and support.
But she was the exception.
Secular Jews who are biased
against Jewish traditionalism
should think twice before mak-
ing a caustic comment to a fel-
low Jew who is considering a
greater level of observance.
There's a lot on the line: an in-
sensitive remark could make the
difference between assimilation
and Jewish continuity for some.
It was difficult for me to be
willing to discover the depth and
profundity of Torah. I first had
to confront and demolish the de-
mon stereotypes that had scared
me off for so long.
Fortunately, I had my
Catholic friends to encourage
me.
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