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9

Editor's Notebook

The Matriarch Rachel
And Her Legacy To Us

Finding A Good Word
For A Hideous Couch

HERBERT YOSKOWITZ SPECIAL TO THE JEWISH NEWS

ELIZABETH APPLEBAUM ASSOCIATE EDITOR

In the history of
art and litera-
ture, the matri-
arch who has
inspired the
largest creative
response is
Rachel. Whether
seen or unseen,
she has a signifi-
cant presence in half of Genesis
and in the prophetical readings
for the first and second days
of Rosh Hashanah.
The favorite wife of Jacob,
Rachel gave birth to Joseph,
who became a great leader in
Egypt. She died in childbirth
with her second son, Ben-
jamin. To this day, her tomb
in Palestinian-controlled
Bethlehem is the site of pil-
grimage and prayer for
women unable to conceive.
The single scriptural pas-
sage from which Mother
Rachel is best known is read
on the second day of Rosh
Hashanah. Chapter 31 of Je-
remiah portrays "Rachel
weeping for her children."
The symbol of Rachel
weeping for the exile of her
people and receiving God's
promise that the Jewish peo-
ple would return to Israel —
the land promised to the peo-
ple by God — is the central
message of Jeremiah's hope-
ful mood in the midst of despair.
In addition to symbolizing the
conquest by women of barren-
ness and the hope for Jews to-re-
turn to Israel, Rachel represents
the attainment of what so many
people in our society ardently
seek: spirituality.
Inherent in each individual is
a spiritual dimension that begs
for fulfillment. Both intellectu-
ally and emotionally, each of us
needs an integrating philosophy
of life which gives direction to
our existence, and roots us in val-
ues which guide our everyday ac-
tions. Spirituality so described
helps us to answer the basic
question: "What is life all about?"

Herbert A. Yoskowitz is rabbi of

Congregation Beth Achim.

Rachel, as our model, can lead
us to emulate her great spiritu-
ality whether we are in the midst
of celebrating holidays or every-
day events.
While in Israel this past July
with my wife and daughter, I felt
drawn to jog toward one partic-
ular street, the only street in
Jerusalem named after a matri-
arch or patriarch. This single ex-
ception is Rehov Rachel Imeynu

On another day, I thought
back to a visit to Kever
Rachel — Rachel's Tomb.
The sacred site was heavily
protected by Israeli military,
and large gray plaster slabs de-
terred easy access to the tomb.
The peace and safety for Jews
for which Rachel-through-the-
ages aspired is threatened once
again.
Inspired by my surroundings

HERBERT YOSKOWI

\-

Community Views

— Mother Rachel Street. Soldiers at in Israel, my thoughts
moved to the tears of Rachel
Every time I went down
the
this busy thoroughfare, entrance to as well as to Jeremiah's in-
another dimension of the Rachel's terpretation of Rachel's un-
Tomb.
matched advocacy for the
matriarch came to my
Jewish people. Mother
mind.
One day, I thought of the priv- Rachel represents the aspiration
ilege that it was for Jacob to have for peace for Israel.
Our thoughts and prayers
been married to a vibrant, spiri-
tual woman such as Rachel. Their should always reflect Rachel's
love for each other was greater prayers for the Jewish people.
than that of any other biblical cou- Her vision has been fulfilled with
ple. Rachel's sense of wholeness her "children's return to their
and the wholeness of her earthly borders."
One day our reality will in-
existence enriched the life of her
husband and made her irreplace- clude Israel's attainment of
able in his life. Her religious faith peace within and beyond her bor-
informed her and ennobled him. ders and by "seeing" Mother
While Rachel experienced trials Rachel's tears turn to smiles at
during her lifetime, her spiritual this achievement of our people.
dimension helped Jacob to live up This is the legacy for which all of
us should yearn. ❑
to his potential.

6355360 @MCIMAIL . COM .

11

mat
Do You
/ Think?"

Should the Israeli government
have opened the Temple
Mount tunnel?

To respond: "So, What Do You Think?"
27676 Franklin Road, Southfield, MI 48034

I always pause
in autobiogra-
phies when
I come across
a certain no-
tion, presented
in a variety of
ways but ex-
pressing the
same thought:
`I wouldn't be where I am to-
day were it not for so-and-so,
who told me, 'You'll never
amount to anything."
Perhaps some find motivation
in such cruelty, but Pm happy to
say no one ever told me I was on
a fast-track to nowhere. On the
contrary: I was inspired to pur-
sue a career in writing by a col-
lege teacher, Jack LaZebnik, who
had nothing but praise for my
work. Short of my parents, I had
no greater fan.
To this day, I find Mr. LaZeb-
nik's words an inspiration.
Whenever I have one of those
writing blocks, or doubt the ex-
istence of my brain altogether af-
ter another night of waking up
10 times with my children, I
think of something Mr. LaZeb-
nik had to say about me. Invari-
ably, it makes me feel confident
and ready to forge ahead. I can
assure you that the last thing I
would want at that point is some
rotten memory about how some-
one thought my writing was as
deep as a script from "Gilligan's
Island."
Criticism is a remarkably
powerful tool. It is healthy and
necessary at times, when deliv-
ered properly and gently, with a
sincere goal of helping another.
But offering mean-spirited, self-
ish criticism is one of the most
destructive acts I have ever seen.
The Book of Proverbs teaches,
'The instruments of both life and
death are contained within the
power of the tongue."
Yet there is this curious para-
dox: It is easier to criticize than
to praise.
I'm not sure why this is,
though I think it has something
to do with boosting our own im-
age. If I say Sue is a lousy cook,
I guess it's supposed to suggest
that Pm a better one. (Of course,
anyone who has ever been to my
home knows that I'm not the
next Julia Child, so what differ-
ence does it make what I say
about Sue?) Or maybe it's just
that we are all such world ex-
perts that, quite obviously, we
should be issuing our profound
observations on everything from
construction of the Brooklyn
Bridge to book binding to Sue's
canapes.
I'm not saying that we should
walk around slap-happy about
each other's abilities. I don't ad-
vocate false or exaggerated com-
pliments ("Good job putting on

that bandage, Joe. It seems to me
you've got the makings of a great
brain surgeon!"), and the thought
of maudlin words of praise makes
my skin crawl ("So what if you
can't tell the difference between
Courtney Love and Maria Callas?
You're a beautiful person inside,
and that's what really counts!").
But there are guidelines we
should consider before we com-
ment on another's hard work.
First, take into mind the effort
someone has put into a project.
You may not like your niece's ab-
stract painting, "Reflections on
a Faux Pearl Necklace As Seen
on the Shopping Channel," but
if she has spent hours on the
piece, think carefully before you
tell her that you hate it more
than anything you hare seen in
your entire life.
Second, reflect on your own ex-
pertise before opening your
mouth. You may not like the way
your father-in-law designs
brochures, but what do you re-
ally know on the subject? Are you
so certain you could do it better?
Third, ask yourself whether
you can't see some good in the
project, then talk about that. "I
like the way you've used that
blue," you might say. You don't
have to make something up, but
what's wrong with focusing on
the pleasant instead of the un-
pleasant —"ac-cen-tu-ate the
positive," as the song says.
Fourth, when you do make
critical remarks, do it in a help-
ful way. "That's a good letter
you've written to Bill Clinton,"
you could say. "But before send-
ing it, you might want to change
the way you address him to 'Mr.
President' instead of `Mr. Pork
Chop Hips."
Before I came to Detroit Dived
in Kansas City, where I had a
friend named Charles Ferruzza.
He was like a brother, somebody
I knew was constantly on my
side.
Charles always had some-
thing nice to say. He would find
me when I was looking my ab-
solute worst — when my hair
was enough to send colleagues
running in terror, when my
clothes looked as though they
were all from the "Suave Gal
1950s Polyester Shop" — and
say, "You're looking nice today,"
and actually make me believe it.
I asked him once how he man-
aged to be so kind all the time
and he said, "Life is difficult
enough. Why not make it a little
easier for someone if you can?"
I try to remember that when-
ever someone asks me my opin-
ion. OK, so that green-and-red
couch with the huge violet flow-
ers isn't exactly my taste. That
certainly was a creative touch to
top it off with a tangerine-colored
quilt. ❑