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Yam Kippur:
The Slow Fast
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used to long for a quick fast on
Yom Kippur. I wanted that pe-
riod of hunger to speed by. I
didn't like it; I didn't under-
stand it, and the more I fought it,
the worse it got. But now I fast
slowly.
Fasting slowly is an approach
I had to learn over time. For most
of my life, I fasted impatiently,
urging the clocks to hurry up,
spending fast days focused on
how hungry I was, how deprived,
how headachy.
I am still — like everyone else
— hungry, deprived and
headachy; but I am slower about
it now, smarter, more thought-
ful. I have quit resenting the fast,
which is a big help. Fasting can
be beneficial, even elevating, but
not if you spend the whole day
annoyed by it.
My previous attitude, while
not admirable, is not unusual ei-
ther. As I began to increase my
religious observance some years
ago, I found it hard to understand
why Yom Kippur, a holiday that
is supposed to make you feel clos-
er to spirituality, to help you re-
new your efforts to improve your
character, had to make you hun-
gry to do it.
I hated fasting. I was distract-
ed by it. And I was forever spend-
ing Yom Kippur with people who
did it better than I. My husband
barely seems to notice it. Even
my eldest child, who has fasted
proudly since her bat mitzvah,
seems unbothered by it.
Then again, my daughter is
not much of an eater even when
it isn't a fast day. She can't abide
breakfast in any guise; she nib-
bles at lunch; and if dinner isn't
available until after dark, she re-
* doesn't care. Her idea of a nu-
tritious, balanced meal is an
order of fries. To her, catsup is a
food group.
But given her efforts, my hus-
band's example and some
thoughtful experiences in the last
few years, I have made the hard-
won discovery that even for a
foodie like me, fasting has gen-
uine meaning. It turns out that
fasting is far more than just an
easy way to induce a headache.
However, to derive true benefit
from it you have to prepare for it.
The first thing on my list the
day before Yom Kippur is fixing
a lovely meal for breaking the fast
the next night. I prepare fresh
bread, a big variety of light sal-
ads, maybe some poached salmon
and a soup. And then I put it all
away. I have friends who can bus-
tle in the kitchen and put to-
gether salads and such late in the
afternoon while they are fasting;
I can't.
My grandmother used to come
home from synagogue and spend
the late afternoon putting to-
gether a wonderful spread for
breaking the fast. It never
seemed to bother her, but it
would make me nuts. Once food
is off the agenda, I don't want to
deal with it at all until I can eat
again.
I try not to go into the kitchen
on Yom Kippur. If I take my body
through the kitchen that morn-
ing, it will believe through sheer
force of habit that it is entitled to
hot coffee; so I stay away.
The next step in fasting with
an eye toward self-preservation
is having a pre-Kol Nidre dinner
that is guaranteed to stick to the
ribs. This involves drinking buck-
My daughter fasts
easily even when it
isn't Yom Kippur.
ets of water and ingesting enough
carbohydrates to sustain a heavy-
weight boxer. I learned this
knack from my husband. His pre-
ferred pre-Yom Kippur supper is
a Passover dinner in reverse: All
he eats is chametz, except the
baked potatoes. He eats bread
and pasta with spuds on the side.
Now I usually don't eat many
Garbs. The high-protein diet was
made for me: I'm a natural car-
nivore with a predilection for
fresh vegetables. But before I fast,
give me starches and plenty of
them.
So what do I accomplish with
all this preparation? Well, I hope
I shape myself into a person, a
wife and mother, who doesn't
spend the holiest day of the year
being testy, uncomfortable and
distracted.
I hope, in a good year, that I
enable myself to have a fast that
doesn't dominate my yontif, a fast
that serves a real spiritual pur-
pose instead. Fasting can take
our minds off our bodies and
make us concentrate on our in-
ner selves. Fasting can give us
empathy for those who are hun-
gry day in and day out. It can add
an edge to Yom Kippur that oth-
er days don't have and can make
us think more deeply, examine
ourselves more carefully, pray
more humbly and appreciate
more completely. At least that is
what I hope it does for me and for
all of us.
So here's wishing you an easy
fast. Slowly. ❑
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