'If Lucy Fell'
'Bottle Rocket'
Rated R
Medical School or pursue her
n If Lucy Fell, screen- dream and open a school for chil-
writer/director/actor Eric dren with Joe? Since Parker is a
Schaeffer wants our sympa- pretty girl with charm and wit,
thy as Joe MacGonaughgill, we actually care, despite her char-
a 29-year-old artist obsessed with acter's unrealistic and sickening
super-sexy, way-out-of-his-league, idealism.
Joe, on the other hand, fails to
completely unapproachable Jane
(Elle Macpherson). Joe's room- earn the sympathy he seeks.
mate and longtime friend, thera- When he finally meets Jane at his
own art show, he gets her
pist Lucy Ackerman
to go out with him much
(Sarah Jessica Parker),
MOVIES
too
easily. As it turns out,
has romance problems of
Jane is not interested in a
her own.
Wallowing for over two years serious relationship, but only in
in a meaningless relationship, fulfilling Joe's fantasy. This, of
she, and her love life, have struck course, is bad news to Joe, who
rock-bottom. If they don't find love promptly dumps her. Every male
by their 30th birthdays (one audience member is perturbed:
month away), these star-crossed "Come on, buddy. Grow a hor-
friends must honor the pact they mone." Yet, as the movie pro-
Rated R
T
The calendar on Joe's (Eric Schaeffer) wall counts down the days to Lucy's (Sarah
Jessica Parker) 30th birthday.
made in college: a double suicide
off the Brooklyn Bridge. Schaef-
fer's self-aggrandizing, unfunny
script has the movie audience
yelling: Jump, Joe, jump!
Posing as a quirky Generation
X romantic comedy, Lucy falls on
its face right from the get-go. It
. opens with sexual yet exceeding-
ly lame humor and regresses with
stupid characters and ridiculous
side plots. While Joe stares at
Jane through her neighboring-
apartment window, Lucy pro-
cures offers from a batch of
eccentric suitors. After one failed
date, in which a young technocrat
takes her out to dinner and for
an evening Manhattan stroll —
and then spends 20 minutes
stinking up her apartment bath-
room — Lucy meets Bwick (Ben
Stiller), a successful painter who
is weird, even by New York stan-
dards.
The relationship endures a few
comical encounters, but other
problems soon pervade Lucy's life.
For instance, should she please
her father by attending Harvard
gresses toward inane pre-
dictability, even they lose inter-
est.
Young filmmakers can learn at
least one important lesson from
this film: Do not cast yourself as
the lead in your own script. As
Schaeffer proves, the tendency to-
ward exhibitionism is just too
strong, and unless your name is
Woody Allen, the general public
simply doesn't want to watch you
live out your fantasy on the silver
screen. Aside from its simple and
poor premise, Lucy comprises sev-
eral useless scenes, such as Joe
jogging like a buffoon in Central
Park, that are gratuitously de-
signed to illustrate Schaeffer's hu-
mor (or lack thereof).
In short, Parker's pretty wit,
Macpherson's immaculate beau-
ty and Stiller's genuine weirdness
are not enough to counterbalance
Schaeffer's utterly ridiculous
script and performance.
t® 1/2
— Dan Zimmerman
tel housekeeper veers off a third of the way into
nconventional, unstructured and un- the film. This is a film about false starts, wrong
even, Bottle Rocket is the story of three turns, and a lack of luck. All the trio's crimes start
dysfunctional mid-20s slackers who out with Dignan yelling, "Let's get lucky!" So, he
embark on a life of petty crime. The doesn't really expect to use guile, cunning or prepa-
•
film has genuine homespun charm, modest am- ration as a means to an end. Like bottle rockets
bitions, and natural performances but seems like that impulsively shoot toward the sky only to
a student-made film with a bigger promise then quickly sputter out and dive-bomb back to earth,
Anthony, Dignan and Bob are on a crash course
budget.
with reality.
As the film begins, Anthony (Luke Wil-
Vacuous Bob calls his obnoxious broth-
son) is checking out of a mental institu-
MOVIES
er
"Future Man," apparently a derogato-
tion he has voluntarily entered. He's a
ry appellation for anyone who thinks ahead.
handsome dullard, confused and, as we
find out, easily led. His buddy Dignan (Owen C. Their family must have money since they live in
Wilson) masterminds petty crimes, badgering his a spacious home with a luxurious interior and
pals into following orders, although one could hard- huge outdoor pool. Where are their parents? I.
ly call his plans masterful. Bob (Robert Musgrave), suspect while the adults were away, the kids
the third member of the trio, is along for the ride; cashed in some of their stock portfolios and made
he's the getaway driver. But Bob must have at- this film.
tO 1/2
tention-deficit disorder because he can't concen-
trate for long enough periods to alert his
—Dick Rockwell
compatriots in crime before any law enforcement
arrives.
Dignan, in fact, has outdone Jay
Gatsby is terms of defining his own
self-image. He carries in a notebook a
scribbled outline of his crime career
projected out over the next 50 years,
and presents it to his lackluster part-
ners as a business plan. It's really a
recipe for failure, but it does look im-
pressive to them because it is, after all,
a plan. A plan, a target, a goal ... some-
thing that has never crossed these oth-
er two simpletons' minds.
The odd thing about Bottle Rocket
is that talking about it, it sounds fun-
ny. The pitch must have sounded hys-
terical. Instead, what we get are a
series of goofy offbeat sequences that
peter out. We're disappointed when Three friends and would-be thieves — Bob (Robert Musgrave), Anthony
Anthony's sweet love affair with a mo- (Luke Wilson) and Dignan (Owen C. Wilson) on a surveillance mission.
fr
Filmmaker Oliver Stone
To Speak March 20
0
liver Stone, whose
film directorial cred-
its include Seizure,
Platoon, Salvador,
Wall Street, Talk Radio, Born
on the Fourth of July, The
Doors, JFR Heaven and Earth,
Natural Born Killers and
Nixon, will speak on March 20
at the University of Michigan.
One of Hollywood's most con-
troversial directors since the
1980s, Stone is also a prolific
screenwriter and producer, hav-
ing won his first Oscar for Best
Screenplay for Midnight Ex-
press in 1978. Stone is also a
two-time Academy Award win-
ner for Best Director — for
Platoon (1986) and Born on
the Fourth of July (1989).
The event is sponsored by U-
M Hillel, Michigan Student As-
sembly, U-M Program in Film
and Video Studies, Borders
Books and Music, Briarwood,
University Activities Center,
Video Watch and the Michigan
Theater.
Oliver Stone will speak on "Making
Movies Matter."
4' Oliver Stone will speak at
7:30 p.m. Wednesday, March
20, at. Hill Auditorium in Ann
Arbor. Tickets are $8 for gen-
eral public and $5 for stu-
dents. Call the Michigan
Union Ticket Office at (313)
763-TKTS or Ticketrnasthr at
(810) 645-6666.